Accountability Partner?

[DisneyDude]

Hello there. I am a 19 year old guy battling an addiction to lust, and homosexuality. I have done some awful things because of this lust, and only recently have I tried rekindling my relationship with God after He decided to give me a wake up call. Yet I still find myself seeking out to fulfill my lust daily. My parents know of my struggle and offer their assistance as partners, but its made things strained between us I feel. They obviously are hurting from it and I don't want to make this harder for them. My brother offered his help as well, but he's 17 and every time we talk about it he is fighting off the giggles. I want to want it gone. Its just so hard because it feels good but its like everytime after I've done it I can physically feel my heart harden. My heart feels like its made of stone and I fear I am wearing on God's patience with my constant sin-repent-repeat. I know I can't truly have Him if I am habitually performing these thoughts and actions. I've set up barriers and all, but I know I need someone to get on my case about it if I am going to be able to stick to it. Logically I know this sin is awful, and all the things I've done in the name of lust are despicable, but in my heart I still long for it and I know I shouldn't. It'd just be helpful to have someone to talk to everyday about it and to hold me accountable who isn't about to cry or laugh about it.

 

[MarcBelgium]

Hey man,
I really respect your honesty and openness and willingness to change. I recognize your battle and struggle very well from my own experience. I started action out (homo-)sexually when I was almost 27 and only started seeking healing and restoration in my early 30s.

Have you thought of joining a support group (something like celebrate recovery)? It's so good you're reaching out and seeking help. I just want to cheer you on in doing this.

I don't know how I can help you, but if you want to talk just let me know.

(Right now I'm listening to Jack Frost on YouTube, talking on the Father's love/embrace ... I can really recommend it.)

 

[DisneyDude]

Thank you Marc. I've been looking at some ministries that might be able to help, and just looked up Celebrate and that seems like something I will consider. Thanks for your encouragement man, it just feels like I'm taking baby steps right now and its been frustrating. You know, like I am just doing the tutorial and not making any real progress.

 

[Carmenere]

Hello there. I am a 19 year old guy battling an addiction to lust, and homosexuality. I have done some awful things because of this lust, and only recently have I tried rekindling my relationship with God after He decided to give me a wake up call. Yet I still find myself seeking out to fulfill my lust daily. My parents know of my struggle and offer their assistance as partners, but its made things strained between us I feel. They obviously are hurting from it and I don't want to make this harder for them. My brother offered his help as well, but he's 17 and every time we talk about it he is fighting off the giggles. I want to want it gone. Its just so hard because it feels good but its like everytime after I've done it I can physically feel my heart harden. My heart feels like its made of stone and I fear I am wearing on God's patience with my constant sin-repent-repeat. I know I can't truly have Him if I am habitually performing these thoughts and actions. I've set up barriers and all, but I know I need someone to get on my case about it if I am going to be able to stick to it. Logically I know this sin is awful, and all the things I've done in the name of lust are despicable, but in my heart I still long for it and I know I shouldn't. It'd just be helpful to have someone to talk to everyday about it and to hold me accountable who isn't about to cry or laugh about it.

My name is Anthony.

The same thing Mark says, "I don't know how I can help you, but if you want to talk just let me know." I have a confession about myself. I quit something bad because my princess confronted me about this bad thing I did. I quit that day after the fight and I haven't done it again. She worries I might I do it again. She always keeps me on check. She has my passwords. A little about me and to the whole world practically. She is amazing and why I love her everyday. "Manly tears" LOL

 

[MadamImAdaminChrist]

In addition to Celebrate Recovery, I have found Mike Quarles/Neil Anderson's resources to be of help, specifically the book One Day at a Time: The Devotional for Overcomers
and the website: https://freedfrom.wordpress.com/

Best of luck. Don't get discouraged if things don't click right away, or if you relapse, or if things are not going well. It happens. Trust me.
But also don't use this fact as an excuse to indulge--that does not work either.

 

[pure4u2]

Thanks so much for your honesty. I personally has struggled with sexuality as well. I've been going to celebrate recovery for almost 3 years and it has really helped me to be open. I really recommend it. Praying for you bud! 😃

 

[DisneyDude]

Thanks so much for your honesty. I personally has struggled with sexuality as well. I've been going to celebrate recovery for almost 3 years and it has really helped me to be open. I really recommend it. Praying for you bud! 😃

Thank you! I am seriously considering going to an upcoming CR event but it depends on a few variables whether I will. Thank you for your prayers

 

[camcates21]

Hey man, I am 21yo and also looking for an accountability partner. Like you have, I have been battling homosexuality. If you are interested, let me know.