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Accountability Partner?

F.S.K.

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Aug 8, 2009
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Hey, everyone! Like the title says, I’m looking, and praying, for an accountability partner. Here’s a little background about myself.

Like a lot of other people, I struggle with SSA (Same-Sex Attractions). The earliest I can remember noticing the attractions would probably have been around 5th/6th grade or so. Thankfully, God’s been a major part of my life since even earlier (I went to a Christian private school for most of my early childhood, which was probably really instrumental in my walk with God), and, of course, His grace is still abundantly helping me from day-to-day.

Pornography hadn’t really been a major problem until my freshman year of high school, when I got an iPod Nano. (Curse you, Apple, and your sleek, addictive products! *shakes fist*) While I didn’t use it for access to porn at first, I soon discovered that the ability to put videos on there led to a whole world of illicit material that otherwise wouldn’t be available. Things got even worse when I got an iPod Touch the following summer, as a birthday gift, no less. For about two months, I was totally entrapped in a cycle of pornography, masturbation, repentance, repeat- indefinitely. Those months were also among the worst of my life. I felt really isolated from just about everyone (not because of the SSA. Only two people know about that, but nevertheless, I felt isolated.), and my straying from God in the areas of lust spread over to other areas of my life. It was definitely a low point.

In the middle of August, I finally got enough sense (more like God instilling some sense into me) to cry out to Him for help. The next day, I went online and found the Door of Hope course on Setting Captives Free. It was definitely a Godsend (pun intended). My mentor was so helpful to me, and I’m incredibly thankful for the course and all those who put their effort and love into it. During this time, I also found an accountability partner in one of my friends. I was so extremely nervous when I told him about my struggles, but he only responded with kindness. Unfortunately, things never really seemed to fully materialize between us two. We talked about things via Facebook once or twice a month, but that sort of fell through, and it wasn’t until a year later that things picked back up again, the following August. The second time around was better, but it increasingly felt less and less like a brotherly, mutual accountability, and more like a mentor-student structure. And over time, again, it sort of disintegrated.

So, here I am now! I’ve been a member here on CF for a while, but I don’t post all that often, but nevertheless I can see just how great of a community it is here. I’d be truly thankful for your prayers, and if you’re interested in being an accountability partner (preferably someone male, and relatively close to my age (17), although that’s not necessarily set in stone) just PM me, or reply, or signal flare, telepathy, whatever works.

Thanks!! :wave:
 
May 24, 2011
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FSK, It seems like you have a great attitude! Kudos. I am not surprised though that your friendship with your chosen accountability partner petered out. It seems like what you are actually looking for is a friend you can share your life with. Friendships, however, cannot be established overnight, but must be based on mutual respect and interests. Sometimes friends can also be an accountability partner, but most people, even friends, do not want to talk about your masturbating every week. I think you may be expecting to much of an accountability partner, which is more like a mentor/student relationship than a friendship.

It sounds like, from your description, what you are really seeking is a close friendship with a guy. Given your SSA, this makes a lot of sense. Maybe a non-sexual friendship with another male with SSA would be the best way to be accountable. He would probably understand better and would be better at being genuinely interested in you. Hang in there!
 
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