Accepting our flaws

[Psalms34]

I know exactly what you mean. I have a "typical" look that I'm attracted to in a guy, but have dated men that didn't come close to fitting that look and was just as attracted to them as the other guys.

For me, the variety has always been a result of caring less about the outside and more about the inside when dating someone. I've dated super fit guys that were obnoxious in so many ways and I've dated heavy-set guys that were much more attractive to me b/c of the way they conducted themselves and treated me.

Haaah too true. Intense stereotypical beauty isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be, needs to be more underneath. It’s harder when you reflect that into a mirror and then walk away with a shallow attitude over it, it’s very difficult not to be that way, though some can escape it. Then if you do have something underneath, yet you become an object, then people just come and go because those that seek objects are often shallow. And when you are young, it’s harder to discern those things, you come across a lot of shallow people and it gets difficult to tell one from another. Hah found an old pic of me in late teens, wonder if I should post it someplace. Hah maybe not.

 

[ido]

Post it!

 

[Psalms34]

Post it!

uhh well ok I'll make a thread for old pics in a bit, unless anyone beats me to it then I'll just post a couple on that.

 

[ido]

I think it's fun to look at old pics of people. If I had a scanner here at home, I would totally scan some old pics and give y'all a good laugh or two.

 

[Psalms34]

I think it's fun to look at old pics of people. If I had a scanner here at home, I would totally scan some old pics and give y'all a good laugh or two.

You can always go in and get your negatives scanned, they put them on rom for ya. I've been wanting to get a slide scanner (slides are best detail), but then I sold my EOS ti Reb and haven't bought the ELAN 7NE camera I've been wanting, yet. I tend to put my spendable money into digital 3D art applications.

 

[CrusaderKing]

I don't think it's a matter of accepting my flaws. One of things I've tried to do over the years is take advantage of my own flaws and try to make something positive. I know I have flaws and I've grown past the idea that I have to somehow mask them to appeal to the masses. I am who I am, but that doesn't mean I use my flaws as a crutch. I use them to try to make myself a better person. I'm not talking about physical flaws, but those exist too.

 

[Im_A]

Do you believe it when someone says that they like you despite any flaws (real or perceived) that you have? I was having a conversation with a friend about this recently - which resulted in the comment that is now a part of my signature. Does worrying about someone rejecting you b/c of your flaws cause you to avoid dating? If you like someone and they say they like you, too, do you worry that they will ultimately reject you b/c of your flaws?

my opinion is, people accept the person they see in you, not what you see in yourself. it is easy to accept flaws in people when your motivated and no one can see past what they want. to me, that is an encouraging thought, because it doesn't matter if there are flaws for this person. they want me anyways, so why should i worry?

hypothetical example: i could tell a girl that i'm not physically attractive because of my teeth. if she is attracted to me, she already know this about me, and she still sees me as attractive, so it doesn't matter about the actual flaws. the visa-versa would work. a girl thinks she is ugly for whatever reason but if i'm attracted to her, her self-image of what she sees as flaws are meaningless to me because no matter what she sees as flaws, i'll still disagree with her. i think this applies to ones personality and character as well.

point being, we see what we want to see, no matter what flaws are there. motivated by desire, love, hope, whatever other motivators exist, we will always be guided by our desires and no matter what the other side descides is a flaw about them, it will not matter to the side is motivated by desire, their love etc. etc. the odd thing is, what we see, and what the others see is based on the same thing. we aren't seeing anything different, we just come to different conclusions.

does some of my flaws hold me back? anything in my character or personality, no way. i love everything about me in that area. i'll leave it up to other people to descide if there are flaws in it. I do not care either way. If I have flaws, great. If I don't, great. I love who I am. My physical appearance? I have teeth issues. I have at times let that hold me back or cause insecurity in my appearance.

Now? With my desires not really strong enough for finding love, relationships, romance or anything and not knowing what it would take to change that, that flaw is rather inmaterial in regards to finding someone. That's my biggest issue right now. I do not have the desire in me right now for any of it. I cannot foresee that changing anytime soon, and the only way I can see it changing is when a relationship starts again for me. i don't even know why i have become like this either. i mean i wouldn't turn someone down to get to know, but i'm just not looking or worrying anymore. its so unimportant to me now that, if something is low on priority than no flaw could be holding me back. Plus I only have like 2 more steps till I have pimpin teeth again so I have learned to not worry about it anymore.

just my .02

 

[ido]

my opinion is, people accept the person they see in you, not what you see in yourself. it is easy to accept flaws in people when your motivated and no one can see past what they want. to me, that is an encouraging thought, because it doesn't matter if there are flaws for this person. they want me anyways, so why should i worry?

hypothetical example: i could tell a girl that i'm not physically attractive because of my teeth. if she is attracted to me, she already know this about me, and she still sees me as attractive, so it doesn't matter about the actual flaws. the visa-versa would work. a girl thinks she is ugly for whatever reason but if i'm attracted to her, her self-image of what she sees as flaws are meaningless to me because no matter what she sees as flaws, i'll still disagree with her. i think this applies to ones personality and character as well.

point being, we see what we want to see, no matter what flaws are there. motivated by desire, love, hope, whatever other motivators exist, we will always be guided by our desires and no matter what the other side descides is a flaw about them, it will not matter to the side is motivated by desire, their love etc. etc. the odd thing is, what we see, and what the others see is based on the same thing. we aren't seeing anything different, we just come to different conclusions.

does some of my flaws hold me back? anything in my character or personality, no way. i love everything about me in that area. i'll leave it up to other people to descide if there are flaws in it. I do not care either way. If I have flaws, great. If I don't, great. I love who I am. My physical appearance? I have teeth issues. I have at times let that hold me back or cause insecurity in my appearance.

Now? With my desires not really strong enough for finding love, relationships, romance or anything and not knowing what it would take to change that, that flaw is rather inmaterial in regards to finding someone. That's my biggest issue right now. I do not have the desire in me right now for any of it. I cannot foresee that changing anytime soon, and the only way I can see it changing is when a relationship starts again for me. i don't even know why i have become like this either. i mean i wouldn't turn someone down to get to know, but i'm just not looking or worrying anymore. its so unimportant to me now that, if something is low on priority than no flaw could be holding me back. Plus I only have like 2 more steps till I have pimpin teeth again so I have learned to not worry about it anymore.

just my .02

There are some really good thoughts in there - thanks for sharing.