Accepting our flaws

[Luther073082]

Blind post:

I think our flaws are always larger in our own eyes then they are in the eyes of others.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

If someone told me that they loved me in spite of my flaws, I would know right then and there that they are lying lol! If they mention my flaws, it is obviously a concern for them.
I debate myself on this all the time. I want to get in shape lose some weight, so I feel more attractive, but if I met a guy then, what happens if I slip back into the self I am now (overweight by about 40 pounds give or take)? So would I rather meet someone that likes me just the way I am, and then will like me even more when I lose weight, or ? the first scenerio? But I wouldn't want to be TOLD.....I love you even with all your flaws....and I would never say that to anyone else either. We all know we ALL have flaws, but seriously.....

 

[ido]

If someone told me that they loved me in spite of my flaws, I would know right then and there that they are lying lol! If they mention my flaws, it is obviously a concern for them.
I debate myself on this all the time. I want to get in shape lose some weight, so I feel more attractive, but if I met a guy then, what happens if I slip back into the self I am now (overweight by about 40 pounds give or take)? So would I rather meet someone that likes me just the way I am, and then will like me even more when I lose weight, or ? the first scenerio? But I wouldn't want to be TOLD.....I love you even with all your flaws....and I would never say that to anyone else either. We all know we ALL have flaws, but seriously.....

I didn't mean the question to come across that they would blindly say "I love you even for your flaws". As you get to know a person and your flaws start to rear their ugly little heads - and you start to show your vulnerability - there does come a point in a relationship where the couple says to each other, "I don't care. I love you for who you are, exactly as you are". That's what I'm getting at in the OP. Maybe the word flaw isn't used, but the sentiment is still there. I love you just the way you are, I love you no matter what. Take your pick on phrases.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I didn't mean the question to come across that they would blindly say "I love you even for your flaws". As you get to know a person and your flaws start to rear their ugly little heads - and you start to show your vulnerability - there does come a point in a relationship where the couple says to each other, "I don't care. I love you for who you are, exactly as you are". That's what I'm getting at in the OP. Maybe the word flaw isn't used, but the sentiment is still there. I love you just the way you are, I love you no matter what. Take your pick on phrases.

I get'cha. I just think no matter where in the relationship I was, if someone said anything of that nature to me, it would be a signal to me that they don't really mean it. I guess I am not wired like that, cuz I wouldn't think of saying that to someone else. Maybe my husband has damaged my self worth to the point that I wouldn't believe any one would love me JUST THE WAY I AM so yeah....that's JMO

 

[JonMiller]

Physical flaws are some of the last flaws I think of. Although I do think of them.

I think there is a very big difference between recognizing what our flaws are, and accepting them as being who we are. We should recognize our flaws, and seek to repair them.

JM

 

[ido]

I think there is a very big difference between recognizing what our flaws are, and accepting them as being who we are. We should recognize our flaws, and seek to repair them.

JM

Understood and agreed. Personal growth should be never-ending. However, if we seek to change something, we first have to accept it. The reality is that we are all flawed human beings. So, if we can't accept the flaws in ourselves - and in others - then we can never really love or be loved wholly and unconditionally.

 

[Psalms34]

Blind post:

I think our flaws are always larger in our own eyes then they are in the eyes of others.

heh I'm always trying to detect my own flaws for correction, catching any new ones popping up and nipping it before it becomes a real matter. Sometimes that takes time too, to even figure out what they are before they get out of hand. Then sometimes long-suffering to correct them if they do get to that point. I notice flaws in others, but I know that there isn't an instant fix that I can provide, but takes prayer, time and growth. In the matter of a couple, I would imagine that the growth of both together would help correct those things in time, and be a better detection opportunity by one to the other.

Ecc 4:9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

So like I think I said (somewhere in someway), flaws, love in spite of those, but if she cant, as a wife, have me gently raise concern about things, then there could be problems. I've always been considerate of what people say of me, taking it to the Lord for understanding and possible correction. He's never lied to me yet.

 

[Markus6]

What exactly are we talking about when we say "flaws"?

 

[Psalms34]

What exactly are we talking about when we say "flaws"?

self-______

 

[white dove]

Personal growth should be never-ending. However, if we seek to change something, we first have to accept it. The reality is that we are all flawed human beings. So, if we can't accept the flaws in ourselves - and in others - then we can never really love or be loved wholly and unconditionally.

I love this - how very true.

 

[4hurting]

Except ti does not work in my case (Well your different) obviously.

I accept them, or you mean, notice them thought you meant, depends, saying accept them as in, no worries, I have floors (flaws), yeah them (lol) and that's cool.
Then suppose, but if mean recognize them, I do, most certainly, all 6,975 of them, but too many to deal with man, and you know, ages and, never mind.

 

[Psalms34]

Except ti does not work in my case (Well your different) obviously.

I accept them, or you mean, notice them thought you meant, depends, saying accept them as in, no worries, I have floors (flaws), yeah them (lol) and that's cool.
Then suppose, but if mean recognize them, I do, most certainly, all 6,975 of them, but too many to deal with man, and you know, ages and, never mind.

Ages? You mean as people get older, they get set in their ways? That can be a good thing though, depending on the way set. Just a comment

 

[elephunky]

My boyfriend thinks im uber good lookin, despite my weight, I dont understand it lol

 

[ido]

My boyfriend thinks im uber good lookin, despite my weight, I dont understand it lol

I'm going to use your comment to illustrate another point.

We don't always have to understand something in order to accept it. Likewise, we don't have to necessarily understand or agree with someone in order to accept them as a person.

So, don't worry about understanding it, just ACCEPT that he thinks you're uber hot!

 

[Psalms34]

I'm going to use your comment to illustrate another point.

We don't always have to understand something in order to accept it. Likewise, we don't have to necessarily understand or agree with someone in order to accept them as a person.

So, don't worry about understanding it, just ACCEPT that he thinks you're uber hot!

Hah true. It can vary from person to person, maybe how we are wired? Or however it comes to us. Most of my past gf’s were… rather thin (frame and weight), yet some were not so I think in either case, there is beauty. Some women feel self-conscious when they are pregnant, but many men think women look most beautiful in that state; very radiant I do admit.

 

[ido]

Hah true. It can vary from person to person, maybe how we are wired? Or however it comes to us. Most of my past gf’s were… rather thin (frame and weight), yet some were not so I think in either case, there is beauty. Some women feel self-conscious when they are pregnant, but many men think women look most beautiful in that state; very radiant I do admit.

I know exactly what you mean. I have a "typical" look that I'm attracted to in a guy, but have dated men that didn't come close to fitting that look and was just as attracted to them as the other guys.

For me, the variety has always been a result of caring less about the outside and more about the inside when dating someone. I've dated super fit guys that were obnoxious in so many ways and I've dated heavy-set guys that were much more attractive to me b/c of the way they conducted themselves and treated me.

 

[Redstiletto]

You're flaws are what make you who you are. You can't avoid them, you have to accept them and the person who is the one for you will accept them too.

 

[GlennK]

Do you believe it when someone says that they like you despite any flaws (real or perceived) that you have? I was having a conversation with a friend about this recently - which resulted in the comment that is now a part of my signature. Does worrying about someone rejecting you b/c of your flaws cause you to avoid dating? If you like someone and they say they like you, too, do you worry that they will ultimately reject you b/c of your flaws?

can't think like that

 

[Markus6]

You're flaws are what make you who you are. You can't avoid them, you have to accept them and the person who is the one for you will accept them too.

What sort of flaws are you talking about. To what extent does salvation by Christ and becoming a new creation remove these flaws, if at all. If these flaws make us who we are will we have them in heaven?

 

[ido]

can't think like that

Care to elaborate?