Acceptable age gaps

[AllForHer]

Wasnt sure which forum to post this in, but i would appreciate any thoughts on the subject

Is it ok for a 22 year old guy to date a 16 year old girl?

Can a 16 year old understand her feelings well enough to know if she is in love?

Is it acceptable to have larger age gaps in a relationship?

Any thoughts are welcomed. Thanks very much guys

 

[peanutbutter12]

Heh, it's not even legal, dude.

Honestly, the 16 year olds I've mentored over the years don't really know what they want in life or love. There are exceptions, but the majority of 16 year olds don't. It's a different story later in life, and age gaps are quite common in your 20's and on, but if I were you, I would not get involved in something like this. Especially with someone so young and immature who has yet to learn things about herself and love.

CJ

 

[sunshinejennii]

Personally I feel that it would be irresponsible for a 22 year old to be at all romantic involved with a 16year old female. In fact if he a guy has any respect for the girl in question he would be careful of even a friendship.

 

[JesusWasn'tWhite]

I have to ask the 22 year olds.. how did you meet this 16 year old? And why can't you date anyone your own age?

 

[feesha]

the best advice i can give is wait 2 years until she turns 18
if you are in love with her maybe speak with her parents and let them know your intention to wait until she is mature enough to date you but you would like to have a friendship with her with their approval
at 16 i think she is still a child and under her parent's rule so you should ask them before deciding if it is ok on your own.

 

[joeman1]

Dude thats not leagal at all. Run away man wait a few years lets say till she is 20 and then make that decision. There is a 4 year age gap between my fiance and myself. But I didn't meet here until we were both in our 20's.

 

[AllForHer]

wow ok - had no idea it would be illegal. ok back away now and ill wait till she is at least 18 providing she is willing to wait. i guess it will act as a good test for our feelings.

thanks guys

 

[feesha]

it depends on the state. i think in TX it would be legal at 17.
anyway, i taugh my first year of highschool last year at the age of 22. it would just be odd for me to find that age attractive. they are still children, you know? with college and that extended adolescence to go through. and at 22 i was starting my adult life.

 

[seamonster]

It's usually only illegal if there is sexual touching or intercourse. Just dating someone isn't illegal.

 

[Linnis]

Exactly, dating someone isn't illegal but no sexual contact can be made.

My mum was 16 and my Dad was 22 when they began dating, it wasn't illegal back then. They'll be married 24 years in July.

I was 18 when I met my husband, then 24. It wasn't sexual in nature, we got to know eachother, dated, married and are now having a baby. Not all age gap relationships are "dirty" in nature some people click dispite gap gaps. Now granted some relationships are wrong, and we should all follow the law but not everyone is out to take advantage of young women.

 

[sunshinejennii]

People do click despite age gaps, but if it's got the potential to be a healthy, mature and fulfilling relationship then waiting won't matter, it'll still happen. I have a fantastic friend who is now 23 and I Was probably about 16 when we first got to be friends, and even though we were just friends we were careful. In fact I really ought to say a huge thank-you to him, he was a complete gentleman, and i did havea crush on him, it's to be expected when a good looking, lovely older man shows an interest in spending time with you. But he respected me and when he thought I was maybe gettign a crush on him backed off and made a point of not giving me any more attention then any other girl at church. I'm glad he did that.

At 16, if you are looking for an amazing god focussed guy then naturally the older guys are going to fit your mental ideal husband list better, and it is so easy for 16year old girls to get confused. Here in the UK a 16year old and a 22year old is a perfectly legal relationship, and at 16 I knew a lot of girls who were going out with 22year old men, but these men were looking for a an inexperienced girl who'd bestow her sexual favours on him in return for the kudos she gets for being with an older man, and the ease of entry to nightclubs when she's with him.
As a Christian guy, there's no reason not to wait till she's 18 at least before expressing your interest in her.

 

[AllForHer]

Thank you for the replys. Neither of us believe in sex before marriage so it certainly wouldnt involve that. And i am in the uk so it isnt illegal. However it would be better to wait a few years and see and that is what shall happen. i told her earlier and she took it pretty bad, but she said 2 years is nothiing. i feel a bit better for having made this decision

 

[Counsil]

No harm can come from waiting. If she's the one God planned for you, she won't be that easy to shake. It also gives you time to craft a strong friendship before you get in a relationship. That produces a strong foundation for you to build upon.

 

[joeman1]

It's usually only illegal if there is sexual touching or intercourse. Just dating someone isn't illegal.

Wrong if you make someone angry or their parents don't approve they can still get you for statutory rape. Weither or not there is any physical contact. Believe me I had a friend get into big time trouble over this and nothing ever happened. He was 18 and she was 16 they took him to court and everything. Believe me it does matter.

 

[Inperfected]

I've seen it work, and not work... My best friend got in this sort of situation... at 18 she had her first child... and at 20 she's not with him, and he's just about to have his second to another woman...

Then again, my cousin was 16 when married, still is about 3 years later and just had a baby. they work great together.

the choice is actually up to you, but make sure it's legal, and her parents approve.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Parents who would let there 16 year old date a 22 year old are not being responsible of their child. A 16 year old is not ready for the type of maturity that most 22 year olds are. A 16 year old is still in high school...still got homework...still have to obey their parents...and so on and so forth.......

That will get old really fast for a 22 year old who has to listen to: My parents said I can't come out tonight....my parents said....

No, I would find that inappropriate. It's not about the age gap...but the age period. If she was 22 and he was 28 there wouldn't be a problem.

 

[sunshinejennii]

I've seen it work, and not work... My best friend got in this sort of situation... at 18 she had her first child... and at 20 she's not with him, and he's just about to have his second to another woman...

Then again, my cousin was 16 when married, still is about 3 years later and just had a baby. they work great together.

the choice is actually up to you, but make sure it's legal, and her parents approve.

Do you mean they both had that kind of age gap? In which case good for your cousin that's working.

Another factor is the environment you live in, round here it's expected that we very few of us will be be at all financially secure until 23-25. Therefore a 22year old guy is getting a hold on adulthood and looking forward in his life, to home ownership and stuff. A 16 year old girl is looking to at least 5more years of college, during which, even as christian, she is hoping to broaden her horizons a little. So the guy knows what he wants, the girl doesn't. At that age that age gap is huge, but by say 20 and 26, not so much.

 

[Inperfected]

Another factor is the environment you live in, round here it's expected that we very few of us will be be at all financially secure until 23-25. Therefore a 22year old guy is getting a hold on adulthood and looking forward in his life, to home ownership and stuff. A 16 year old girl is looking to at least 5more years of college, during which, even as christian, she is hoping to broaden her horizons a little. So the guy knows what he wants, the girl doesn't. At that age that age gap is huge, but by say 20 and 26, not so much.

Very true, and that being said, my cousin I said about grew up in a homeschooled environment, and had finished school and a college course at that age. She was more ready that i could ever be.

 

[charligirl]

In the Uk you can marry at 16 with the parent's consent and it is also the age of consent, so it wouldn't be illegal at all.

I dated a couple of guys who were 23 and 26 respectively when I was 16, they both broke it off after a couple of dates because of my age.

 

[California Dreamin']

I just turned 20 and the guy I was seeing is 22, almost 23. I felt he was immature and not very responsible.

I have started liking a 29 year old, he'll be 30 in August. Our age difference isn't an issue at all. I'm not like most 20 year olds though.