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Abusive online relationship

aflower4God

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I don't know what to say other than I have dealt with the worst kind of relationship online, this man emotionally abused me so badly that close friends have said I have changed, became sadder and such.
He used me and was a liar, he knows how to convince people to see things "his way".
He is a horrible man. The words that he has said to me that has hurt me to no end and has made me so upset in the past are so many. Too many to honestly list.
Bottom line if you are feeling lonely, don't rely on anyone or anything, just seek help I don't want ANYONE to end up like me.
Why God allows abuse to happen I will never know? :cry:
 

knw1991

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im sorry flower, you dont deserve this, that man is cruel, youre an awesome person and anyone would be blessed to have you in their life. he will realize that one day and regret it so much. you are special , you are hurting but you are still amazing. your caring and sincere love for others always shines through

you are in my prayers flower, you deserve peace and joy and i will pray that you will have it. God bless you :hug: :prayer:
 
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jannikitty

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Oh, oh, best not to form close relationships with people you don't see in real space. Online is often off base and can end in hurt for a trusting and loving person as you seem to be. So sorry this happened to you. People do and say things on line they may never say in real life mainly because they know they can get away with it despite that God is all knowing and all seeing. God bless..praying for you! :prayer:
 
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SkyeMist

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It is a human tendency to think that our well-being and ability to feel good about ourselves lies in what people say about us. This man is a bully and a liar. Do not believe in his lies. You are created in God's image and you are a unique individual, greatly loved by God. End all communication with him because he seeks to tear you down with his cruel words and behaviour. Please be careful when you are developing an online relationship. People do not always appear to be what they are as in real life. When they get online, the chores have been done, they are not at work and they are relaxing at home.The pressures of life do not intrude online.
Don’t be sad. Or if you are, let your sadness bring you to Jesus who loves you. We were designed to feel unfulfilled if we try to serve anything other than God Himself. Eccl. 2:11: "Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun." Develop your relationship with God. Spend more time praying and reading God's word. Be active in church, serve in a ministry and get to know the people at church better. I will pray for you that you will develop healthy relationships and if you need to talk, please PM me.
 
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Chococat

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I don't know what to say other than I have dealt with the worst kind of relationship online, this man emotionally abused me so badly that close friends have said I have changed, became sadder and such.
He used me and was a liar, he knows how to convince people to see things "his way".
He is a horrible man. The words that he has said to me that has hurt me to no end and has made me so upset in the past are so many. Too many to honestly list.
Bottom line if you are feeling lonely, don't rely on anyone or anything, just seek help I don't want ANYONE to end up like me.
Why God allows abuse to happen I will never know? :cry:

I can relate to what you are going through because, as I have mentioned in the past, I have had a similar relationship with an online "friend" who was sometimes emotionally abusive to me and it had the same effect on me. The only thing you can do is to cut all contact with the abuser immediately as that is what I had to do. It hurt but not as much as it would have done had I continued with this "friendship". Please don't believe the things he said as it is him that has the problem NOT you :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
 
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FreeSpirit74

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Oh, oh, best not to form close relationships with people you don't see in real space. Online is often off base and can end in hurt for a trusting and loving person as you seem to be. So sorry this happened to you. People do and say things on line they may never say in real life mainly because they know they can get away with it despite that God is all knowing and all seeing. God bless..praying for you! :prayer:

I need to correct you on that. You'll obviously never dealt with a sociopath before. I just extricated myself from a 9-year "relationship" with one. This man deserves an Oscar for Best Liar - he can lie bold-face right to your face and get you to believe anything. Oh, he can turn on the charm and charisma, opens doors for the ladies, the whole 9 yards... and whatever you can do, he can do better, he knows more, etc. etc.

Turns out he not only was in a relationship with me, but he also was living with another woman who he'd started a relationship with since before he and I met AND he had a third woman (a resident at the apartment complex he manages) caught up in his web of deceit. Plus, both of these woman had teenage daughters for him to play "father figure" to. Since 2005 he had his girlfriend and me, and since 2009 he had THREE women in play. And undoubedly he had more than just us.

The whole saga is way too long for me to recant here, but let's just say I gradually became wise to him, then found out the full truth about that I was part of a harem, and then told him the truth that I knew everything he had been up to. I did that over text, and part of me wishes it had been to his face, because I would have loved to see his reaction to know that *I* was the one who sent the anonymous note to his "step-daughter" to let her know that he was cheating on her mother with two other women. I told him he could respond or not, I really didn't care, because I wanted to forget that he ever existed in my life.

I never heard from him after that, and I'm glad. He really is a pathetic creature. He prefers insecure women who he can, not physically, but psychologically, overpower. He's 72 (and looks in his 50's), so he prefers women from that era when women were demure, genteel, and didn't challenge a man even when he openly disrepects them, and accept his lying, even when they know the facts, because they are scared to lose him because they've bought into the lie that they will never find Another Man Like Him. He doesn't like strong women with a feminist viewpoint on life, who openly challenge his words and actions when they don't add up. He's threatened by that, so that's when he starts pouring on the gaslighting and blame-shifting, and abandoning you so you'll then sit by yourself, contemplate what YOU DID WRONG, so then you can go crawling back to him, all contrite and apologetic. Ready for the next round, because it is a cycle that is only going to repeat itself until you wise up and learn. It takes a strong-minded woman to stand up against that and tell him where to go. Took me 9 years but, thankfully, I reached it.

And I'm one of the lucky ones - only my psyche is damaged. There are a lot of people out there who have lost their homes, their finances, and sometimes even their families to sociopaths.
 
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FreeSpirit74

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he will realize that one day and regret it so much.

Doubt it. Sociopaths, narcissists, pathological liars... anyone in that vein ONLY thinks about themselves and what THEY want. That's how they prey on other people and do the damage they do - by making it seem like everything is the OTHER person's fault. They are empty shells, devoid of conscience, morals, and empathy for others. They can pretend to have those qualities, but it's only long enough to hook in their victims; then, they let their real selves show. And, unfortunately, therapy does not, and will not, help these people. They are chameleons who can change their persona to fit any situation they find themselves in, including lying to a therapist.

The only way to "deal" with these people is to drop them cold and go into permanent No Contact mode with them as soon as they show themselves up - because they will trip themselves up eventually. They have such delusions of grandeur and think they are so much higher in intelligence than the person they are trying to snowball that they often end up overstepping themselves.

These two websites have been very helpful for me in understanding the guy I just kicked out of my life:

http://www.lovefraud.com
Dating a Sociopath | A site for healing and recovery!
 
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HisSparkPlug

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I don't know what to say other than I have dealt with the worst kind of relationship online, this man emotionally abused me so badly that close friends have said I have changed, became sadder and such.
He used me and was a liar, he knows how to convince people to see things "his way".
He is a horrible man. The words that he has said to me that has hurt me to no end and has made me so upset in the past are so many. Too many to honestly list.
Bottom line if you are feeling lonely, don't rely on anyone or anything, just seek help I don't want ANYONE to end up like me.
Why God allows abuse to happen I will never know? :cry:
I"m really sorry to hear about this happening to you. It is true that there are men online who prey on women. I recently wrote an article about how women should never allow a MAN to minister to them b/c there's a danger the man will use his "ministering" to try to DATE the woman. I know of one such man who is a Christian & knows the bible very well but that's how he finds his women. He lies a lot too. I feel sorry for him.

Unfortunately this type of man knows that it's easiest to prey on women who are hurting and vulnerable.

I pray God will protect women from this type of scenario playing out. We do have a responsibility to be wise as serpents & innocent as doves. We can recognize these guys and call them out and warn other women about them. The good news is that if you're close enough to the Lord, He will often warn you and pull you out of a relationship (online or IRL)

You've given good advice to the ladies about not getting into "online relationships" - it's much too easy for men to pretend they're something they're not, and they often have more than one lady whom they are playing games with going at a time.

Be assured that it is not your fault precious girl and that Abba has a wonderful plan for your life which includes the deepest respect from those you enter into relationship with. Settle for nothing less, you're a daughter of the Most High King
 
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