I have from time to time verbally abused my wife while we were dating and since we have been married. I told her that I will try to change before but it didn't last. She just recently left to go live with her parents . I have been going through counseling for my problem. I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder and have been suffering with this for some time. I finally realized that I can't change on my own and need help. She is now not willing to give me a chance to prove that I am changing. I don't know what else I can do. I have prayed to God and asked for forgiveness. Any suggestions?
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Abusive Husband
- Thread starter jeffreyd13
- Start date
Keep praying..not only for yourself, but for her and your marriage...know that God loves you and he is a God of miracles, also pray that your wife's heart will be softened towards you and that her eyes will be opened to your changing...
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Keep at it. You will have to prove that you have changed, not an easy thing to do, even if she is willing. Pray that her heart will remain open. In the meantime, will she even meet you for dinner out or something like that? You both meet and the restaurant and have a date from which you both go your seperate ways home. Asking her to retrust you is asking a great deal. Take it slow and steady.
Would she ever be willing to go to a counseling session with you?
Would she ever be willing to go to a counseling session with you?
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We are currently going to marriage counseling or did you mean for her to go to one of my anger management sessions?
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W
WashedClean
Guest
First of all, know that God has forgiven you if you have truly repented, which it seems you have. You need to accept His forgiveness.
As far as your wife is concerned, is she a Christian? Maybe you could speak with your pastor, alone or together. Also, may I suggest that you pick up the book, The Power of a Praying Husband by Stormie Omartian? I haven't read it, but I have read the one for wives and it's awesome. It should be readily available and it's not very expensive.
You need to be working on your relationship with God and trust Him to heal your marriage. Pray that His perfect will be done for you and your wife.
I hope this helps a bit. Please let us know how you're doing.
Love in Christ,
WashedClean
As far as your wife is concerned, is she a Christian? Maybe you could speak with your pastor, alone or together. Also, may I suggest that you pick up the book, The Power of a Praying Husband by Stormie Omartian? I haven't read it, but I have read the one for wives and it's awesome. It should be readily available and it's not very expensive.
You need to be working on your relationship with God and trust Him to heal your marriage. Pray that His perfect will be done for you and your wife.
I hope this helps a bit. Please let us know how you're doing.
Love in Christ,
WashedClean
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Mother Vashti
Veteran
You're allowing a bad characteristic or aspect of yourself to get the best of you. It can be exacerbated by a high sense of responsibility and the stress from relationships, especially expectations of yourself. Do this:
1) Allow God to sit in the driver seat. Be open to any relinquishment of authority, if it means you will be that much closer to his favor.
2) Write down and release, in complete honesty, the things that make you angry and anxious. This does not work if you write it down because a therapist gave it to you as a homework assignment; do it for yourself.
3) Always allow yourself time alone, to repeat these points and meditate/pray. You can't be "on" 24 hours a day, any longer.
4) Do not look at your actions in a moralistic light. This is actually a biased approach to examining your actions, and detrimental to your spiritual health. Instead of seeing moralistic merits and demerits, look at your actions from a health/vitality perspective. You'll find it easier to "forgive yourself", and make changes.
1) Allow God to sit in the driver seat. Be open to any relinquishment of authority, if it means you will be that much closer to his favor.
2) Write down and release, in complete honesty, the things that make you angry and anxious. This does not work if you write it down because a therapist gave it to you as a homework assignment; do it for yourself.
3) Always allow yourself time alone, to repeat these points and meditate/pray. You can't be "on" 24 hours a day, any longer.
4) Do not look at your actions in a moralistic light. This is actually a biased approach to examining your actions, and detrimental to your spiritual health. Instead of seeing moralistic merits and demerits, look at your actions from a health/vitality perspective. You'll find it easier to "forgive yourself", and make changes.
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Whitestone
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Congradulations, you have seen a problem in yourself and are taking steps to improve it.
Sounds like what you are doing is great, is also sounds like the problems have a accumulated for awhile and that will take some time to overcome. Stay focused on your goal and keep plodding away. Eventually things will work out just takes some time for new seeds to be sown.
One tidbit of advice I think I may be able to give, I think in most marriages habits form. I suggest that everytime you think you are about to do something you don't want to do force yourself to do something else that would be productive or atleast not destructive. Eventually the bad action should be replaced with the good habit.
I will keep you in my prayers,
Whitestone
Sounds like what you are doing is great, is also sounds like the problems have a accumulated for awhile and that will take some time to overcome. Stay focused on your goal and keep plodding away. Eventually things will work out just takes some time for new seeds to be sown.
One tidbit of advice I think I may be able to give, I think in most marriages habits form. I suggest that everytime you think you are about to do something you don't want to do force yourself to do something else that would be productive or atleast not destructive. Eventually the bad action should be replaced with the good habit.
I will keep you in my prayers,
Whitestone
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Thank you all for your advice. That is exactly what I am trying to do. This has really humbled me and made me realize that I have not had my priorities straight. I have not followed Jesus as I have should. If there is one thing good that has come from this it is that I am closer to God and I am allowing him to guide my ways. Jesus is first in my life and not myself anymore.
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jeffreyd13 said:
Praise God...I have been through a similar situation and it has improved my walk with God..Life is not easy but we have the best friend we could ever have and HE makes a way for us...remember HE is love and HE is a GOD of miracles..I watched Joyce Meyer last night and the topic of her teaching was When, God, When...God does things in his time..delay is not denial, so we must pray on letting HIs perfect work be done in us and the other person and the situation...She really touched also on enjoying where you are until you get to where you are going...have a blessed weekend
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