Abuse Outcomes

[beetlequeendiva]

I was talking with a friend today because I had a flashback last week and I was feeling really guilty about it!!! Basically I had sex with a guy when I was 13, he ws 16 and it made me feel really guilty however my friend and I came to the conclusion that I only did it because I was looking for someone to love me and I figured that if I slept with him then he would love me. Stupid huh? It never ceases to amaze me the amount of things that come as a result of abuse.

 

[luv4godremains]

You shouldn't feel guilty about it, you wanted to be loved and didn't know where to find that love, where you could fill the void! and, it wasn't stupid, because we all make mistakes, and that's why Jesus died for us, because he loved us, and wanted to give us ALL another chance! you're obviously soorry about it otherwise you wouldn't feel guilty, and God WILL forgive you for it, he knows you had no intent of hurting him or doing wrong, and that it was the only way you could think of to fill the ever lasting hole that had been in your heart!

God bless angel!

 

[Sun_flwer]

Try not to be so hard on yourself. I have made those same mistakes in my own life. I looked for love in all the wrong places. God does forgive us when we repent and ask forgiveness. And then we must try with God's help to forgive ourselves.

 

[Yasha]

abused or not. I think that also has to do with self esteem and feeling lovable and how much your parents affirm you as a person. Sure, abuse from parents is FAR from affirmation. But, parents who are not abusive and just don't know the value in loving their kids well, forget to be as affirming as they should and it happens to them, too. My dad was affirming, but my mom was not.


I loved the boy I had sex with the first time. I was 14. We dated for 7 more years after that, too. Truth is, he loved me better than any other boyfriend I ever had. He was a Christian, too. There was very little wrong with him AT ALL! I was just too curious and rebellious of a kid to hang on to him and recognize the gift God gave me in him. I bolted when he asked me to marry him. I wasn't ready.

But the TRUTH is, when we had sex the first time. I wasn't ready at all. I just did it because my sister already had and had lots of boyfriends and I felt slow or like I didn't fit in or something. She is two years younger than me.

Not a reason to be proud of, huh?

God does forgive us when we repent and ask forgiveness. And then we must try with God's help to forgive ourselves

I agree.

 

[shazabella]

I was talking with a friend today because I had a flashback last week and I was feeling really guilty about it!!! Basically I had sex with a guy when I was 13, he ws 16 and it made me feel really guilty however my friend and I came to the conclusion that I only did it because I was looking for someone to love me and I figured that if I slept with him then he would love me. Stupid huh? It never ceases to amaze me the amount of things that come as a result of abuse.

My theory is that we do what we are taught - if we are taught that we find love by having sex with guys because thats the only way we have learnt love guilt really shouldn't come into that

and its not stupid at all - that was the exact reason why i got involved with my bf who later became my perp - we look for love and we look for it the only way we know how. As survivors we have a pretty skewed version of what love is and where we get it from not because there is something wrong with us BUT because of what we were taught because of the abuse. as stupid as this sounds - we were fighting for our lives and we survived - i have no idea how i did but i did as did all of you and never forget that - u survived !!!.

One of the things that came out for me as a result of the abuse was that anytime i hear a man yell i automatically go into crisis mode because i expect to be hurt and hurt badly and my perp just reinforced that.

I'm curious what stuff has come out as a result of the abuse others have lived thru ...

- Shaz