Abandonment Issues / Anxiety

[avillarini]

Hi everyone,

I've recently accepted the fact that I have abandonment issues. Which I realize is the cause for the extreme anxiety I've had over the years. I live with the constant fear and thoughts of my spouse leaving me or her feelings changing. Sometimes the anxiety is so bad I can not eat or focus on anything. In the past this has caused me to get sick and lose my job. I've found that praying and worship in church help me tremendously, but I still feel anxious. Has anyone ever dealt with this? Can you share any insight? I'm on my knees praying for a solution or even just a helping hand.

Thank you and God bless.

 

[RuthD]

I have abandonment issues too. I also get anxiety. I read one day that we can face the anxiety by saying to ourselves, bring on the anxiety! I did it this morning and it was like a miracle. I asked to feel all the anxiety and bring it on and it just went away when I did that. It may not be so easy for you so if you are not already getting some help for your issues I would suggest that. I am on medication too for the extreme anxiety so that helps me a lot. Take good care.

 

[avillarini]

Thank you for your advice, I read the reply email last night and tried it this morning. I did feel better, its not completely gone but its a big difference. All my prayers and all the help I've received from people like you give me strength. Thank you RuthD

 

[LittleH]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm beginning to think that I may have abandonment issues too, although it could equally be major trust issues. It has taken me a long time to trust my husband, and I'm still scared he will leave me. I have ptsd and severe anxiety, so it is a lot for him to deal with. I just always assume that anyone will give up on me and leave...

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel and will be praying for you.

 

[avillarini]

LittleH
I agree with you, and I think there are some trust issues mixed in too. I've been cheated on and lied to so many times its hard to trust. My girlfriend now has never given me a reason to feel this way, but even the smallest lie from her triggers a wave of endless anxiety and fear. I've been praying and reaching out so I have faith things will get better. At the end of the day everything happens for a reason, and its all in Gods plan for us so I have to trust in that.

Thank you LittleH for replying to me, its comforting knowing that someone understands. I'm here to offer any help to you like you have to me.

 

[LittleH]

LittleH
I agree with you, and I think there are some trust issues mixed in too. I've been cheated on and lied to so many times its hard to trust. My girlfriend now has never given me a reason to feel this way, but even the smallest lie from her triggers a wave of endless anxiety and fear. I've been praying and reaching out so I have faith things will get better. At the end of the day everything happens for a reason, and its all in Gods plan for us so I have to trust in that.

Thank you LittleH for replying to me, its comforting knowing that someone understands. I'm here to offer any help to you like you have to me.

Hi

I'm glad I could be of some comfort. Sometimes, one of the hardest things can be feeling like you are on your own and that no one else understands. I'm sorry that your trust has been abused so many times before. It can be so hard to recover from having it shattered.

You're right, though, to trust in God, however hard that may be sometimes. I know for me and the way in which my faith has developed that I have slowly trusted God more and more. I'm not perfect and there have been times when I have expected God to let me down and break the trust I have in Him. He never has.

Thank you for the offer of help; it really is very kind. I have good days and bad days, so I may well take you up on that!

Take care - you're in my prayers.

 

[Gracelands]

Amen LittleH,

Humans may break our trust ( and we often do). God does not though. Always loves you, always gets you, always will heal you, always protects and keeps you ( in spite of how things may look) and of course.. will never leave you or forsake you.

Keep your feet firmly on Christ spiritually when you get that fear LittleH would be my advice.

 

[Chococat]

I can relate to this as I too have abandonment issues and find it hard to trust people. I think it happens when you have been let down or abandoned in the past and you fear others may do the same to you. With me if I feel I am being abandoned I tend to get depressed rather than anxious. Plus I think trust issues and abandonment issues are intertwined in that if you fear someone will abandon you it will be very hard for you to trust them. As a Christian it is a help to know that even when fallible humans let you down (and they will do just as you will let them down at times) we have a Friend who will never let us down.

 

[LittleH]

LittleH
I agree with you, and I think there are some trust issues mixed in too. I've been cheated on and lied to so many times its hard to trust. My girlfriend now has never given me a reason to feel this way, but even the smallest lie from her triggers a wave of endless anxiety and fear. I've been praying and reaching out so I have faith things will get better. At the end of the day everything happens for a reason, and its all in Gods plan for us so I have to trust in that.

Thank you LittleH for replying to me, its comforting knowing that someone understands. I'm here to offer any help to you like you have to me.

Hey

How are you doing? Sorry, I know it has been a while but I have been thinking of you and praying for you. How have you been coping with the abandonment issues? It is becoming clearer and clearer to me that I also have abandonment issues. I have a couple of friends who are supporting me, and whenever I spend time with them and it gets to the point where I need to leave / they need to leave, I always end up in tears. It is so frustrating! So, I really do understand your pain.

If you need anything, please do let me know. You can pm me if you want.

God bless