Greetings in Christ ,
There was a time when I had fallen into a very bad place . And though I had experienced the joy of salvation a couple of years
before , it was as though I had become like the one 7 times worse. (See Matthew 12:44+45)
And one night while alone , locked in a dark room that was painted black , as I wallowed in depression and thoughts of suicide , I
happened to glance over at a bookshelf , where there stood a red covered Bible , which was presented to me as a small child , and I
remembered having read it for myself a couple of years prior , and how that had stirred faith and the opening up of a whole new
world in The Spirit ; but now that world had grown terribly dim , due to my involvement with base things which cannot edify or
correct . And at that moment I was consequently very sad , and began to say , " Nobody loves me , nobody loves me ". I don't
remember saying any kind of prayer , but was undoubtably groaning in my spirit - when a strong Presence penetrated the darkness ,
and I heard these words come down from above , and flow within , saying , " I still love you ", and upon the hearing of these words ,
my mind seemed to race for an explanation , and after a few moments of wonder and bewilderment , I asked internally , " Lord , is
that you ? " And The Voice replied , " It Is I " , and then as if someone had open the floodgate of all my suppressed emotions of guilt
, and fear , and dying hope - I was as one overwhelmed , but there was a Light which was shining within me , and that light was
cleansing and renewing me upon the basis of The Lord's affirmation that He still loved me , in spite of all the wrong I had done
against Him ; and then , it was as if my heart broke , and these words flowed out , " Lord , as far as I'm concerned , my life is over ,
I don't even want to live ; but if there is anything left of my life , You can have it and do whatever You want to with it ." Then I had
the sense that He smiled over me , and His Presence abated , except the part which remained within . And my heavy burden was
relieved , by having my hope renewed , and it was only a day or two later that The Same Voice spoke to me saying , " Now is no
longer a time for words , now is a time for action - Leave this place ! " ( Previously , I had tried to leave several times , but kept
being pulled back , seeming to have no place else to go - but this time The Lord had spoken it ! ) So with renewed hope + faith , I
packed up a backpack and rode away on an old ten speed bicycle a friend had given me . This began my life as a wayfaring man ,
traveling around for about 17 years with a sometimes empty wallet in my left pocket and a well worn King James in my right .
Meeting and sharing witness with many , as an itinerant , working here and there for a short time before going on another adventure
cross country , seeking within and without that city , Whose Builder & Maker Is God .
This is a segment of the ongoing testimony of one who embraces Christ's Love .
May The Lord Be Pleased To Continue Affirm His Love towards us each and every day , as we look to Him for our Deliverance & Sanctification . To The Glory of His Holy Name . Amen .
wm
There was a time when I had fallen into a very bad place . And though I had experienced the joy of salvation a couple of years
before , it was as though I had become like the one 7 times worse. (See Matthew 12:44+45)
And one night while alone , locked in a dark room that was painted black , as I wallowed in depression and thoughts of suicide , I
happened to glance over at a bookshelf , where there stood a red covered Bible , which was presented to me as a small child , and I
remembered having read it for myself a couple of years prior , and how that had stirred faith and the opening up of a whole new
world in The Spirit ; but now that world had grown terribly dim , due to my involvement with base things which cannot edify or
correct . And at that moment I was consequently very sad , and began to say , " Nobody loves me , nobody loves me ". I don't
remember saying any kind of prayer , but was undoubtably groaning in my spirit - when a strong Presence penetrated the darkness ,
and I heard these words come down from above , and flow within , saying , " I still love you ", and upon the hearing of these words ,
my mind seemed to race for an explanation , and after a few moments of wonder and bewilderment , I asked internally , " Lord , is
that you ? " And The Voice replied , " It Is I " , and then as if someone had open the floodgate of all my suppressed emotions of guilt
, and fear , and dying hope - I was as one overwhelmed , but there was a Light which was shining within me , and that light was
cleansing and renewing me upon the basis of The Lord's affirmation that He still loved me , in spite of all the wrong I had done
against Him ; and then , it was as if my heart broke , and these words flowed out , " Lord , as far as I'm concerned , my life is over ,
I don't even want to live ; but if there is anything left of my life , You can have it and do whatever You want to with it ." Then I had
the sense that He smiled over me , and His Presence abated , except the part which remained within . And my heavy burden was
relieved , by having my hope renewed , and it was only a day or two later that The Same Voice spoke to me saying , " Now is no
longer a time for words , now is a time for action - Leave this place ! " ( Previously , I had tried to leave several times , but kept
being pulled back , seeming to have no place else to go - but this time The Lord had spoken it ! ) So with renewed hope + faith , I
packed up a backpack and rode away on an old ten speed bicycle a friend had given me . This began my life as a wayfaring man ,
traveling around for about 17 years with a sometimes empty wallet in my left pocket and a well worn King James in my right .
Meeting and sharing witness with many , as an itinerant , working here and there for a short time before going on another adventure
cross country , seeking within and without that city , Whose Builder & Maker Is God .
This is a segment of the ongoing testimony of one who embraces Christ's Love .
May The Lord Be Pleased To Continue Affirm His Love towards us each and every day , as we look to Him for our Deliverance & Sanctification . To The Glory of His Holy Name . Amen .
wm
