- Apr 29, 2002
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Well I've had a hard time being motivated this week. I did not apply for all the jobs as soon as I should have I still have a Resume to send out. Usually I get it all done by tuesday. I have e-mail saying that I will get a call for the one caregiver job I was talking about, but I haven't heard anything yet.
Today I went and applied for a job at a nursing home that was in the paper, or I tried, but it was already filled. Only been in the paper for 3 days. Ah well, I'm kinda sad because I ripped my pants today, really the only good pants I have for interviews. Maybe I will be able to find something at wallmart, I probably should, I just got a LITTLE bit of money, bleh now I have to buy new pants.
Tomorrow I go do some general labor for these contractors I have worked for before. It really is just a pitance, half a days work, then Lord knows when i will hear back from them, but pray to keep me motivated it will be some good exercise at least.
I am not as sad as usual, but it makes me worried. Being horribly afraid for my future is very motivating, but I think I have reached my breaking point with feeling bad so God has seen fit to just numb it out a little. Maybe this means I will not have to try so hard, that somewhere I applied at will hire me. I will still try to try hard though, been hard this week I guess. A lot of the places I wanted to apply at ended up being simply too far away.
I need to do some cleaning too. My room mate does not clean AT ALL GRR. I really don't bother arguing much about it usually. I'm pretty mellow. But it would just be nice if he could just be a little more tidy. I already do all the dishes, but I usually do them as I make them. Shux, every time I goto the kitchen I make sure to do a dish or two, but he piles them up so quickly.
Anyhow my room mate is scheduled to leave this weekend, and with him the computer. He's trying to see if his grandfather will be ok with him staying out the month. I sure don't mind, I appreciate the company, even though he is sloppy. He has worked very hard while we lived here, harder than I have. Now though, sense he got fired (totally unjustly) he just won't even try. So he doesn't really do anything helpful or look for a job. There isn't much available for his profession right now though, but he won't even look any more. So I guess I just want to whine a little because I do all the chores and I am the only one makeing an effort to get a job. Anyhow if I can get a job I can pay the bills easily. I did a good job at finding this place it is VERY affordable. I think without so much pressure to find a job it would be easier for him but he is uh, well things frustrate him VERY EASILY.
If he moves out, I can certainly live here by myself if I find a job, it's not a big deal, but he's a good friend and it's nice to have someone to hang with. My old best friend, well he's seeing someone now and that someone does not share him very well so I never see him any more, and my other good friend works a lot, so I don't get much social interaction, except for my room mate and my family.
I know this has gone on a while, and I don't expect that everyone reads the whole thing. It just makes me feel better to sort things out here, and then whoever wants to pray for whatever will and that can only make things better.
Thanks a lot...
BENJAMIN JEANOTTE
Today I went and applied for a job at a nursing home that was in the paper, or I tried, but it was already filled. Only been in the paper for 3 days. Ah well, I'm kinda sad because I ripped my pants today, really the only good pants I have for interviews. Maybe I will be able to find something at wallmart, I probably should, I just got a LITTLE bit of money, bleh now I have to buy new pants.
Tomorrow I go do some general labor for these contractors I have worked for before. It really is just a pitance, half a days work, then Lord knows when i will hear back from them, but pray to keep me motivated it will be some good exercise at least.
I am not as sad as usual, but it makes me worried. Being horribly afraid for my future is very motivating, but I think I have reached my breaking point with feeling bad so God has seen fit to just numb it out a little. Maybe this means I will not have to try so hard, that somewhere I applied at will hire me. I will still try to try hard though, been hard this week I guess. A lot of the places I wanted to apply at ended up being simply too far away.
I need to do some cleaning too. My room mate does not clean AT ALL GRR. I really don't bother arguing much about it usually. I'm pretty mellow. But it would just be nice if he could just be a little more tidy. I already do all the dishes, but I usually do them as I make them. Shux, every time I goto the kitchen I make sure to do a dish or two, but he piles them up so quickly.
Anyhow my room mate is scheduled to leave this weekend, and with him the computer. He's trying to see if his grandfather will be ok with him staying out the month. I sure don't mind, I appreciate the company, even though he is sloppy. He has worked very hard while we lived here, harder than I have. Now though, sense he got fired (totally unjustly) he just won't even try. So he doesn't really do anything helpful or look for a job. There isn't much available for his profession right now though, but he won't even look any more. So I guess I just want to whine a little because I do all the chores and I am the only one makeing an effort to get a job. Anyhow if I can get a job I can pay the bills easily. I did a good job at finding this place it is VERY affordable. I think without so much pressure to find a job it would be easier for him but he is uh, well things frustrate him VERY EASILY.
If he moves out, I can certainly live here by myself if I find a job, it's not a big deal, but he's a good friend and it's nice to have someone to hang with. My old best friend, well he's seeing someone now and that someone does not share him very well so I never see him any more, and my other good friend works a lot, so I don't get much social interaction, except for my room mate and my family.
I know this has gone on a while, and I don't expect that everyone reads the whole thing. It just makes me feel better to sort things out here, and then whoever wants to pray for whatever will and that can only make things better.
Thanks a lot...
BENJAMIN JEANOTTE
