I was doing well, thinking I had the right direction spiritually but I'm at a roadblock again, and it feels bad. I don't know where else to post this, because I was looking to see if any other place was appropriate but I can't find any.
I understand that since the Fall, man cannot reconcile to God by his own efforts, and that paves the way for Jesus Christ to be that reconciliation, but since He is that reconciliation, why do we still have to maintain good standing with God by our works? Now don't get me wrong, there are Bible verses that plainly show how we don't just believe in Jesus, but OBEY Jesus too, but I don't know what to think right now.
I think the connection that you're missing here is the "why" of what we do as Christians (also known as the motivation). So let's start from the beginning.
One of the easiest ways to finding that connection is to look at how God interacted with men (and women) in regards to both His law, man's breaking of God's law, His forgiveness, and lastly in His punishments for their sins against Him.
Pay particular attention in the book of Leviticus to the penalty for sin, who suffers for it, what they give, and how the penalty increases.
The reason for that increase is that sin itself drives us further from the presence of the goodness and holiness of God, and His fellowship with us.
God doesn't move, it's us and the sin inside of us that propels us further away from the shining presence of God's perfection, and His good examples.
So the further we go from His presence seeking a place where we can feel comfortable and can justify our sin, the longer it will take us to get back to His presence, the more we have to pay for our forsaking the fellowship that we have lost, and the greater effort we have to put forth in order to change our ways and our direction from going away from God into returning to Him.
And all the time that we're doing this return, our vague sense of discomfort turns into a real sense of guilt and shame as we realize what our sin has cost us.
But it's not guilt or shame or efforts or a sacrifice of retribution that brings us back and restores us to God's good graces. Only our love of God and His love for us can bring us all the way back into communion with Him once again. That love is what impels us to return to Him.
And when we realize that, then our feet cannot move us fast enough, no gift is too costly, and no efforts are too great because all of that pales when we compare it to our need to return to the love that God bears for us, or to once again unite with the sacrifice that Jesus paid to redeem us, or to claim the restored future fellowship that we will share with God once again.
And that's when we truly realize the worth of our fellowship with Him, and when we begin to understand that God's gift of unmerited grace to us is worth much more than just works or sacrifice.
As Judas finally realized, there is no price that we can put on our relationship with God, on His forgiveness, His love, or His sacrifice of His only Son for our sake.
Being able to admit that is what brings us the final step of the way back home, and into the heart and the presence of God once more.
