- Nov 14, 2018
- 12
- 10
- 28
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Republican
Hello everyone,
Right off the bat, I'd like to start off by saying that I have struggled with faith my entire life. I am currently 22 years old, and I have just recently begun to find my faith in God once again. I will get into some very personal details, so I appreciate anyone who makes it through my story.
When I was a child, I attended Church every Sunday with my parents. I didn't enjoy it very much, considering I was a restless kid full of energy ready to run outside and do what a kid does. I attended CCD for a few short years, and then fell out of it as my time in public school became an ever-consuming activity in my life. Once I reached adolescence, or my early teens, I abstained from going to Church as my growing brain found faith to be generally uninteresting and I became more enticed to enjoy the material-world (hanging out with friends, playing video games, adventuring in the woods, etc.).
Once I reached High School I had nearly let go of my faith entirely. I won't dive into too much detail, but due to employment complications for my father we had to move away from my home state by about 500 miles. This was a crushing blow to me especially since all of my immediate family and friends lived within a short car ride from my original home. This ended up being the start of a long, arduous stretch of depression that I had dealt with up until just recently. I felt as if I was stuck in an echo chamber, where God nor my friends and family could reach out to me in mind or matter. It was an awful, empty feeling. As with any serious case of depression, thoughts of suicide and self-harm were prominent in my head. However, after all of that time I felt as if some force was keeping me from taking action on those thoughts (something very powerful). I had the occasional thought of "I think God is telling me if I end my life now, I'll never be able to live the full life he had planned for me." Which is ironic now that I think of it, since I was living a life of no faith at the time. This of course did not make me feel better overall, but it did keep me here on this Earth so that I may reach out this community today.
I did not have a tough childhood, I was very fortunate to be born into a loving family that cared for me and my well being every day. I have never faced true hardship in life, and for that I am extremely thankful; which really floods me with guilt. The fact that I would let my spirit sink to such a low level when I truly haven't suffered to an immeasurable level. Which brings my story to how I am today. I realize how incredibly fortunate I am to be living the life that I have been given.
To summarize, my faith is slowly being restored, but I need help. I have been attending a communal Well Church with my parents here and there on Sundays. I pray every now and then, but not often. I know in my heart I want to have an ironclad, unshaken faith in God, but I can't seem to figure out why I am constantly teetering back and forth with my faith. Any advice anyone would have for me would be fantastic. Thank you, and God Bless
Right off the bat, I'd like to start off by saying that I have struggled with faith my entire life. I am currently 22 years old, and I have just recently begun to find my faith in God once again. I will get into some very personal details, so I appreciate anyone who makes it through my story.
When I was a child, I attended Church every Sunday with my parents. I didn't enjoy it very much, considering I was a restless kid full of energy ready to run outside and do what a kid does. I attended CCD for a few short years, and then fell out of it as my time in public school became an ever-consuming activity in my life. Once I reached adolescence, or my early teens, I abstained from going to Church as my growing brain found faith to be generally uninteresting and I became more enticed to enjoy the material-world (hanging out with friends, playing video games, adventuring in the woods, etc.).
Once I reached High School I had nearly let go of my faith entirely. I won't dive into too much detail, but due to employment complications for my father we had to move away from my home state by about 500 miles. This was a crushing blow to me especially since all of my immediate family and friends lived within a short car ride from my original home. This ended up being the start of a long, arduous stretch of depression that I had dealt with up until just recently. I felt as if I was stuck in an echo chamber, where God nor my friends and family could reach out to me in mind or matter. It was an awful, empty feeling. As with any serious case of depression, thoughts of suicide and self-harm were prominent in my head. However, after all of that time I felt as if some force was keeping me from taking action on those thoughts (something very powerful). I had the occasional thought of "I think God is telling me if I end my life now, I'll never be able to live the full life he had planned for me." Which is ironic now that I think of it, since I was living a life of no faith at the time. This of course did not make me feel better overall, but it did keep me here on this Earth so that I may reach out this community today.
I did not have a tough childhood, I was very fortunate to be born into a loving family that cared for me and my well being every day. I have never faced true hardship in life, and for that I am extremely thankful; which really floods me with guilt. The fact that I would let my spirit sink to such a low level when I truly haven't suffered to an immeasurable level. Which brings my story to how I am today. I realize how incredibly fortunate I am to be living the life that I have been given.
To summarize, my faith is slowly being restored, but I need help. I have been attending a communal Well Church with my parents here and there on Sundays. I pray every now and then, but not often. I know in my heart I want to have an ironclad, unshaken faith in God, but I can't seem to figure out why I am constantly teetering back and forth with my faith. Any advice anyone would have for me would be fantastic. Thank you, and God Bless
