A reason

[heatherwayno]

I have heard that God never intends for anything to happen to you unless it is to make you stronger. I was physically and emotinally abused by both paretns and often wonder why God would let this happen to me. Does anyone else struggle with this, or have you found a "reason" for it. I sometimes get so upset at the childhood I never had. It sometimes hurts so bad!

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

I hear you. I sometimes wonder "why" and have heard people say things like, "oh well now you'll be able to reach out to all the others who have gone through that." Excuse me??? Like they didn't already have each other?? Like we shouldn't be asking WHY about them, too? OK, so why did THEY have to go through it -- so they could validate my bad experiences with their existence, being there for me to "reach out to" so *I* can heal? All that kind of talk just makes no sense, and begs the question. Know what I mean??

 

[rfprewitt]

I get mad at God all the time because I don't know "why". Sorry...but "God wants to build your character" doesn't seem like a good reason to put someone through what I have gone through

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

Same thing is true of poverty. As a character-building experience it is highly -- and erroneously -- overrated. People who spew platitudes about certain soul-destroying experiences "building character" usually have never had to live there themselves. Either that or someone has shamed or psychologically bullied them out of their authentic responses to it and they've internalized the same empty platitudes that were fed to them.

Platitudes are pointless. When someone is in pain, in suffering, in need, there is only ONE appropriate Christian response and that is to ALLEVIATE IT somehow. Even if we can't FIX the situation, we CAN make it better, even if just for a day or an hour or a moment. If we aren't willing to do something to make it better, we need to get out and shut up. End of story!

 

[Pats]

People who say things like what is described in the posts above are clueless as to what it means and how it feels to be abused.

I don't know "why" I was abused, either. But I also KNOW for sure, I don't know the mind of God.

One thought, He created us with free will, the good and bad people alike.

I haven't abused anyone, but I've made some bad choices and done some bad things. I did those things with my free will. The same free will that allows me to choose to love Jesus and obey God of my own choice.

Another thought, God didn't make the world corrupt, humans and sin have corrupted it. But one day, Praise the Lord, I won't be in this world any longer, I'll be in a better place and the tears will be dried from my eyes.

They're not great explinations, they're not very profound. It's just the best I can make sense of my life and the suffering I've endured.

 

[s_gunter]

I hear you. I sometimes wonder "why" and have heard people say things like, "oh well now you'll be able to reach out to all the others who have gone through that." Excuse me??? Like they didn't already have each other?? Like we shouldn't be asking WHY about them, too? OK, so why did THEY have to go through it -- so they could validate my bad experiences with their existence, being there for me to "reach out to" so *I* can heal? All that kind of talk just makes no sense, and begs the question. Know what I mean??

Heh, heh, yeah. I don't know how many people that told me that exactly where they can put it.

 

[BlondieLashes]

I have heard that God never intends for anything to happen to you unless it is to make you stronger. I was physically and emotinally abused by both paretns and often wonder why God would let this happen to me. Does anyone else struggle with this, or have you found a "reason" for it. I sometimes get so upset at the childhood I never had. It sometimes hurts so bad!

I have felt the same way!

 

[jill45]

I really agree with Pats. I think we live in this world, where things are not as God intended. Everyone has the free will to make choices. God is there for us to help us get through this world, while we are here.
I would like to think that God cried with us when we were hurting, He did not want us to go through these aweful things, but was there for us to reach out to.
There are things we cannot ever even try to figure out or understand, as to WHY something happened, I've asked that question so many times.
I'm so glad you have Christ in your life, lean on Him.

 

[Anna N. Amos]

I have heard that God never intends for anything to happen to you unless it is to make you stronger. I was physically and emotinally abused by both paretns and often wonder why God would let this happen to me. Does anyone else struggle with this, or have you found a "reason" for it. I sometimes get so upset at the childhood I never had. It sometimes hurts so bad!

I don't think God ever intends for us to be hurt, its just we live in a screwed up mess of a world. People who do not respect the word of God or each other.

I have had people say, "God doesn't give you more than you an bear" or "there must be a reason."

I often think of all the little girls out there who will be raped tonight by their own parent -- so how exactly does it make them stronger? or that sure seems like more than a tot can bear to me and I do not see any good reason for it to happen. I think it is a devilish thing, and impossible to justify.

Only, there is a devil and he wants nothing more than to ruin lives

 

[luv4godremains]

If people respected themselves they would know not to do this, I don't think anoyone who can do these kinda things to us can respect themselves, and in all honesty, it may make us stronger, but it takes a long time till we get stronger, it's sooo hard not to just break down constantly, or pretend that everything's ok and was, it's ridiculous when people say the God only let us go through it to amke us stronger, he makes good out of bad, not like he lets us go through it and then thinks afterwards, oh well, it doesn't matter, she/he can now be a little stronger!

 

[tracyk02]

Like many others, I too was abused (sexually, emotionally), neglected (physically) and grew up in poverty. With all my being, I don't believe that is what God had in mind for me. And I do believe that He hurt and cried for me, when I was going through all of that. Since I've become a Christian, I've stopped asking 'why me, why did I have to go through it' and have started asking 'why me, why did I survive it'. Many don't. John 10:10 says, "but the thief comes only to kill, and to steal and to destroy." I think that is particularly true of women. These are just my thoughts and beliefs. There is a great book out there that addresses the particular warfare against women. It is called "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldrege. Anyone else read it?

 

[tillergirl]

I remember being told that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.
I dont think this to be true.
Especially as at the momement i feel like an emotional train wreck.

I sometimes feel god made a mistake giving us feel will as he can see that is allowing us to hurt and destroy each other.

I struggle to understand why he allows things like abuse to happen sometimes there must be a reason but i really can't see it at the momement.

 

[lostchildhood]

I have heard that God never intends for anything to happen to you unless it is to make you stronger. I was physically and emotinally abused by both paretns and often wonder why God would let this happen to me. Does anyone else struggle with this, or have you found a "reason" for it. I sometimes get so upset at the childhood I never had. It sometimes hurts so bad!

hi
i am lostchildhood i am new to this site, i have the same problem you have . I can not understand why god let me be abused during my whole childhood. why? what reason? they say he does it to make you stronger or he doesnt give you anything you can not handle, but i do not buy that, i just do not get why god would sit bACK and let a guy rape his wife after tieying her to a coffee table. my dad did this than 9 months later i came. a product of rage, hate.. i feel what you are saying . i know i should not feel this way , but i do not know what to do lostchildhood

 

[Pats]

I know I am repeating things already said. But I'd like to encourage the two posters above.

I was abused as a child. I was abused terrably emotionally, physicaly, mentally... And then I married some one who abused me and unfortunately, my children.

I know God has loved me from before I was I born. He loved me when I was abused. He loves me now.

We live in a world corupt by sin. A world where man's free will and Satan, the prince of this world, the prince of darkness have taken over.

But God will have victory in the end. Whatever happens to me in this world, I am God's child and He will prevail.

Here's a poem that God gave me to encourage me when I was a scuicial teen.

​

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I'm not afraid of rain clouds
That's where rainbows wait

And I don't dread the darkness
It is the sunshine's gate

I know beneath each muddy stream
Awaits a crystal pond

I've seen behind the hilltops
That valleys lie beyond



So, life may try to stop me
Cause me to stumble and fall

But my Lord will never reject me
His love is best of all​

---In His Love,
PCA