I have seen this first hand. Average novus ordo parishes can be really friendly to non-Catholics. True Latin Catholics I have talked to will pretty much say I'm toast and not saved because I reject the papacy.
I'm not going to put my full thoughts on this matter here because they'd be somewhat undiplomatic. I'd also have to drag in personal revelation, and that doesn't have any official authority.
But I will give some indications as to what I believe. I used to be Protestant, specifically Presbyterian. My wife is still Baptist.
I developed a great deal of respect for my Presbyterian (Ex-Methodist) pastor, even if he could be discouraging. I learnt a lot from him and I still haven't heard his equal in giving homilies, despite the fact he died 31 years ago.
We used to have discussions in his office on a fairly regular basis. At one point he said "I sometimes wonder if Protestants get into heaven."
This was news to me and I asked him why he thought that. He replied "I don't think God is as easy going about the continued division of His Church as we are ... The Reformation was easily the most violent episode in Church history..."
If I remember rightly William Shirer, author of "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich", stated that the population of Germany, which was at the epicentre of the Reformation, declined from about 16 million to 6 million in the century after Luther due to wars of religion and their effects (destruction of agriculture, pillage, disease, loss of homes, requisition of goods, lack of shelter in a cold climate, the killing of males who do the heavy lifting, fatherless children, orphans etc.)
en.wikipedia.org
The discussion went on a bit, and I ended up asking him "If you believe that, then why are you still Protestant?!" He thought for a minute and then said "They (the Catholic Church) have done a lot of damage at times!" (which we have).
And we left it at that.
On another occasion we were talking about the Papacy, and he started off along the lines that "There's no proof that the Catholics can trace their first popes right back to Peter ...". He named a couple of the "alleged" early popes. But then he suddenly stopped and looked at my face with an expression of alarm.
I didn't know what the issue was and he cut the interview short.
The next time we met he said "The last time you were here you just about wrecked my faith!"
I wondered what the heck he was talking about and he said "We were talking about the popes... I said something about the early popes ... but something was coming through your face!"
I knew nothing about it, and I have to assume God told him something using some sort of supernatural sleight of hand. It certainly didn't come from me. Incidentally he was dying of cancer at this time, so he knew his time was short, and I was about to get married and leave his church.
He continued "It's a heresy! That's what worries me!" I presume he was talking about the protestant position on the papacy.
Then he shrugged and said "Well, the Lord knows I've tried to serve Him all my life!". He had too, and very well indeed. I guess he left his judgement in God's hands, who would have known full well just how hard he worked to serve God. Obviously I'm biased, but if the Catholic and Protestant churches ever got together again under one church roof, I think he'd be a candidate for canonisation, even though the world hardly knows anything about him. There's a few other Protestants I can think of who would be suitable candidates if it comes to that.
He died a few months later, and I became Catholic about five years after that. But I didn't become Catholic because of what he said. It was more a case of push becoming shove (by God) - if anything I resisted for a while.
I'm afraid I have doubts about the issue. There are of course those hardline Protestants who think Catholics are "Toast", but it would be ironic if they find they're not quite in the guaranteed safe seat that they think they are.
We tend to forget that the
Church is God's Church. It was divided by men, with great violence.
I think He might expect us to fix it and stop making excuses.