a question for the SAHM's

[Gods4me]

Im newly a stay at home mum. the past 2 years i have been at college and cant go this year becaus eim due a baby in March so will be a SAHM for a while my self. I was a stay at home mum the first year of my sons life but i also had depression and I wasnt able to leave the house due to fear of everything.

so what do you do during the day to pass the time?

it feels like such a cheak question and i dont mean it cheakly i just need something that is going to keep me sane. all i seam to do is housework and got to mums and tots, and hospital appontments...

I go to a mums and tots at the church but its very boring. my son is happy enough to play and never notices im there. untill resently i was a single teenage mum and even now that im married im still "to young" to have children. so all the mums tend to group together and when i do try and talk to people its like you can tell they just dont want to talk to me.

 

[EbonNelumbo]

I find so many things that take up my time I am always busy...I do mass amounts of laundry, cleaning (there's ALWAYS something that needs it) or errands (though I can see this could be a problem if you were too depressed to leave the house, been there ) that I am busy. Also, when my son is awake he wants to be paid attention to and played with, so there's more time that drags throughout the day.

Also, there's always CF

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

yeah, there's always plenty of housework! Sorry you aren't enjoying the playgroup, I hope it gets better for you. I never liked it either because all the other mothers were at least 10 years older than me, and it just wasn't my scene...
I'm actually a very STAY AT HOME stay at home mum, since I don't have a car during the day, and with 2 toddlers I find it hard to get everything done! The washing machine is going non-stop most days! And I try to clean one room a day properly, so I stay on top of things (But don't come to my house now, I've been slack lately...)

Anyway, think of this time at home as an opportunity! Get a hold of those books you've been meaning to read! There's time to develop spiritual disciplines, prayer time, Bible study etc. Do some scrapbooking, sewing, gardening... or learn to cook from scratch, since staying home I've learned to make all our own bread and pasta! Go for walks to the park! Or other exercise. And there's always CF if you just want to pass some time!

I also spend a lot of time with my kids (sounds odd to say that...) anyway, we read lots of books, do drawing/painting, puzzles, play games (in & outdoor), sing songs...

 

[Leanna]

It gets busier. You will have two kids, and also one older one with different needs. We are really busy here! If the first group didn't work for you try, try again. Check yahoo groups or meetup.com or something like that to find local groups.

 

[GolfingMom]

I have one left at home while the other is at school. I clean, make meals, scrapbook and work with DS on his letters etc. I also review DS's AWANA activities and we go to Bible study together. Each day has something else to do.

 

[Called2Grace]

One thing I find amazing is how quickly the time passes during the day. No sooner have I managed to get everyone up dressed and fed (not quite fed myself but I am dressed at least) it feels like half the day is gone.

I spend most of my day feeding Alex, and trying to keep Susan entertained and not feeling left out as it is a new experience for her having a brother.

I also love cooking, so when I can I try to put together nice meals for my family.

Hubby works from home, so I will also help out there during the day too. Housework is also a big part, although not much of that is happening at the moment, it's hard to fold laundry with a baby attached to you!

 

[Neenie1]

Im newly a stay at home mum. the past 2 years i have been at college and cant go this year becaus eim due a baby in March so will be a SAHM for a while my self. I was a stay at home mum the first year of my sons life but i also had depression and I wasnt able to leave the house due to fear of everything.

so what do you do during the day to pass the time?

it feels like such a cheak question and i dont mean it cheakly i just need something that is going to keep me sane. all i seam to do is housework and got to mums and tots, and hospital appontments...

I go to a mums and tots at the church but its very boring. my son is happy enough to play and never notices im there. untill resently i was a single teenage mum and even now that im married im still "to young" to have children. so all the mums tend to group together and when i do try and talk to people its like you can tell they just dont want to talk to me.

ROFL. I sit on the couch watching Dr Phil and eating chocolates.

Seriously, though there isn't that much time I have to wonder what I will do to fill my time.

I have 2 children 3 and 6, I work at home on a casual basis, and take a few babysitting jobs here and there, but even without those, I still am pretty busy.

There is washing, cleaning, cooking, playing with kids, helping with homework, helping at school. I also knit and do some things for overseas missions so that keeps me busy too.

If you're not clicking with the mums and tots group at church, is there another group you could join. Maybe a group for young mums or something? I know if you came to my playgroup you would be very welcome, even if you are a young mum, who's business is it what age you had your babies.

 

[Gods4me]

thanks every one for the sugestions.

Im sure once baby 2 comes along ill have plenty to do. ill prob spend alot of time feeding them and all thos friend who are nosey ill want to come to visit to see the baby then ill never see them again.

kinda feel the same in the house. DS is very indapendant and like to play with his toys in his room. we some times do some crafts but he aint intrested he just wants to play. we do sing and stuff but we do that before story time and bed time..

and the sugestion about readding books... ive re read every book in the house since the start of the hoildays in june. to be fairt we dont have much books... must buy some more...

 

[Neenie1]

Do you have a library nearby? I love the local library and probably go at least once a week. I don't like to buy too many books - buying books means finding somewhere to put them, and spending money I don't have to when I go to the library.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

^ yeah, love the library. They quite often have childrens programs running too, so you could go in one trip, your son can have some play time (similar to playgroup) and in the same trip you can borrow a book or two for yourself!

 

[ChristianMama84]

I have hobbies, lots of hobbies. lol I clean, but we live in a small home right now so not much to clean. I also watch some movies, old (and I'm talking 1940s old!) TV programs on DVD, crochet, Bible study, playing with Remy, spending time with my pets (we have 6 dogs, a cat, a pig, a turtle, and now a swimming pool of frogs), working on my business, and talking to all of my friends up north.

 

[bugaboo]

I homeschool. There goes half my day right there. I'm not suggesting you do the same, but some children enjoy doing workbook activities, and it's easy to do that sort of thing with them when they're little, or teach them to read, prepare them for school, etc.

I also walk a lot with my kids, do the trails, go to the beach. Winter is harder to get out as much. I love to cook though, do crafts, crochet, that sort of thing. I've also done small home renovations like painting, though some stuff isn't possible with a baby around.

Another thing I think is really helpful is to have friends with young children that you can chat on the phone with or get together with for playdates.

 

[heart of peace]

I am not fully a SAHM as I also work from home but that work is completed when my son goes to sleep at night.

I have always been a very social person and there was no way I would be able to stay home for the long haul (as I am convicted my place is at home raising the children God blesses me with) if I was home all day cooking, cleaning, tending children. I don't just enjoy being around people, I thrive it, I need it to feel joyful about living. It has taken some time for me to find activities that interest me and my son equally especially because we are fairly new to this community. Basically, I try to spend time outside daily whether it is going to a park, attending storytime at the library, going on a nature walk, riding bikes, visiting friends, going to music classes, a moms group, etc. None of my days are rigid. We have maybe 2 things that are planned activities but everything else isn't. Instead we have a natural rhythm to our day and leave the home when we are naturally ready to leave without the use of a clock (just our natural inner clocks).

I also try to incorporate some spontaneity in our days and will often just decide to bundle my son up in the car seat and just drive to a museum in a community that is near us or attend some other cozy little town function. Autumn is an amazing time in this part of the country as it is the harvest time and there is soooo many fun things going on around my area.

You should check out meetup.com. When I first moved here I joined that site and there were plenty of sahm groups to join to meet other moms of all ages. You are sure to find some moms who share similar interests with you. Something else I do constantly is scour the websites of my community and the surrounding area for fun things to do and often they are free of charge.

 

[Neenie1]

I'm probably the same way too MsDahl. I thrive on contact with other people. In fact I NEED other people around or I go MENTAL!!! I don't necessarily go out every day, but go nuts if I'm at home more than 2 days in a row.

I am probably the mum you see at the local park chatting to whoever happens to be around ROFL.

 

[Hadassah]

Usually... if I have a good day with JD we can get cooking and chores done.

On a bad day, I'm holding him or he's in the sling and we're walking around the house or watching tv until I can get him to sleep. IF I am lucky he goes down to sleep. If not.. I have to hold him all day... little time to do anything on my own, including eating... it has been really rough. I've wanted to read lately, but I haven't gotten a bit of time to myself to do so.

In the last month we've had so much going on, I'm suprised we are all still in one piece. I definitely don't sit around eating chocolates and watching soaps...

 

[godanswers]

Some days I am a whirlwind of stuff getting done. Other days it's all I can do to lift clothes off the floor. I have a one year old who sits asleep in my backpack because she refuses to take naps on her own. I've created a monster.

 

[RedTulipMom]

Besides cleaning and cooking and playing with the children other things to do are reading books to the kids and on your own. I go to the library every week and my 4 yr old really enjoys going, he not only gets to pick out books and movies but he can play games there at the tables and also he can play computer games at the library. Our one day a week library trip is lots of fun and sometimes we will go to mc donalds or out for ice cream afterwards. My four yr old takes gymnastics for an hour on Fridays and a sports skills class for an hour on Tuesdays and i enjoy watching his classes while talking with the other parents. Also i have some hobbies: scrapbooking, crocheting and cross-stitch. i want to learn to make jewelry and just found somewhere giving classes so i think i will sign up. Years ago i used to do latch hook rugs and am thinking of doing one again for the kids walls. I also talk to my cousin or friend on the phone while drinking my morning coffee. I spend some time on the puter on CF and doing computer research. I also currently homeschool my pre-schooler but it doesnt take much time at this stage. The kids like to paint and color alot also. I never run out of stuff to do..usually the day goes by too fast and i havent accomplished everything i need to. i also keep a budget in quicken and have online banking and have to keep up with all the bills. Then once every two weeks i have to look through my cabinets and fridge and write down a two week menu and grocery list, that takes time as well. You'll find PLENTY to do!

 

[BlessedMommy05]

I'm a SAHM also and its some times a bear to deal with..I used to thrive on being out with people and doing things but I've lost alot of sense of the need for people in my life,cept; for my Husband and my son.. Like alot of poeple here, I dont sit on my butt all day.. There's days I need to when I have a major headache and can barely lift out of the bed or couch but on other days I'm up cleaning or doing laundry making beds, the normal house-hold stuff.. I eat when I can find a time to get a bite in.. My son is 3.5 soon and I do plan on having more in the near future.. But right now, my son needs a bit more time for him.. He's not hard to deal with he's healthy and all but gotten alot more needy and course bed/naps are hard unless he's not feeling good..

I am not in MOP group or anything like that.. I just do my best and go with the flow.. I do when I can find time to read, browse CF or any other boads I'm on..Read books, I'm a big book reader, watch movies to..

So just comeup with a schedule that will help you. I'm going to soon sign my son up for swim lessons and gymnastics soon.. I cant do soccer or anything else till he's 4 which wont be till Oct..

Best of luck!

 

[stacii]

I feel like there aren't enough hours in my day. I do soooo much stuff in one day that I think I work harder now than I did when I had a day job.

I also thrive on being around people. I am fortunate enough to have a husband who owns his own business who is here rather often. My sister in law also stays home, so I try to take my son up there to play once or twice a week.

I think when the spring gets here it gets better for all of us. Going out to the playground is a great way to get out and talk to some different moms. You don't have to be friends with all of these people, but sometimes talking to someone totally new is refreshing.

Can you find a local moms group to join? I know there are a lot of options in my city for moms, and I know most towns have something also. You could also sign up to volunteer somewhere. A lot of places provide childcare or at least welcome children. that way you'll be around adults and you'll be doing something helpful.

Did you ever talk to your doctor or anyone about your depression? You know you don't have to suffer and it's not your fault. It doesn't make you a bad mom or a bad Christian to admit that you are struggling! I've walked that road, and the sooner you get treatment, the sooner you will feel better! And even though you think you're too young, this is where you are. God has a plan for you, and it's a good plan, and he promises to complete it.

I'm praying for you and your family!