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Mmmmm... 'looking with the intent of appreciating the sexual value of a person' ... what exactly does this mean? If I look at a woman and admire her long legs? If I look at a man's groin to check the apparent sizing? If I look at a man and think, "wow, he dresses well!"? I'm honestly not sure exactly what you're getting at.I didn't say that one could not see people. I in fact made that point very clearly awhile back. I am speaking specifically to the idea of looking with the intent of appreciating the sexual value or aspects of a person. Also, I could go much further in biblical study to prove my point. God did not make us to be sexual in a purely physical way. This was part of the fall. Our physiology was literally changed at that time.
Ah - so those who disagree with you and her are a) not striving to live more like Jesus and b) not the sort of people who this site is 'for' ?Romanseight2005 - RIGHT ON!! Keep it up!!
I think some people on here are not understanding what this site is for. This site is for people who are striving to live a moral life & try to live more like Jesus!! Ari
Ah - so those who disagree with you and her are a) not striving to live more like Jesus and b) not the sort of people who this site is 'for' ?Please tell me I've misunderstood you and that you wouldn't come out with such nonsense!
Really, the thing that I find sad is that some people are allowing something that's really very silly and harmless affect their marriage to the point where they'd label their husbands an adulteror for looking at another woman. I find that really, really sad. I feel bad for the women who honestly feel simply looking at another woman is enough to destroy their marriage and make their husband an adulteror, and I feel bad for the men who have an unrealistic standard applied to them for which the person (who's suppposed to understand them better than anybody else) will use as a means to make his life miserable.
That is awful. Truly awful. Thank God in heaven that I don't do that to my husband, and that he doesn't do it to me. .
You're not going to 'stoop to' explaining your comments? Well, my apologies. I was clearly in the wrong to think that I'd misunderstood you. Those who disagree with you on this topic are not striving for Christ-like-ness.First of all I'm not stooping to the level of arguing about it.
Fair enough. But that doesn't mean implying that anyone who doesn't agree with you is a 'lesser' christian. Could be that someone who doesn't struggle with sins of lust and jealousy is more spiritually advancedAnd 2nd it is no nonsense that this site is to encourage others to walk like Christ did, not in our own humaness.
Noooooo, I was trying to argue that what YOU state is wrong. In places. And unless you're claiming to be as inspired as the writers of the NT, you can't really legitimately question the state of someone's spiritual walk because they don't agree with you. Jesus rather clearly said that just looking at a woman WITH LUST was a form of the sin of adultery. I don't think ANYONE here has disagreed with that. So your charge of someone (me? TW?) saying that the bible is wrong seems a little ridiculous, to put it mildly.That being said, this site is for anyone, but if you are trying to argue that what the bible states is wrong don't be surpised to have others defend the word.Ari
I think that when it's done right, with wisdom and love and humility, confronting another person with their sin shoulldn't cause them to feel at all ashamed, humiliated or evil. Just a simple, "hey, you've been doing _____ a lot lately, and I wonder if you realise that it hurts _____. Would you mind having a think about _____, and whether you should continue? If you need a hand, let me know, eh?"[/font][/size][/color]I don't see how actively seeking to make somebody feel evil and ashamed is an act of kindness. Certainly it's not an act I'd want bestowed on me, since there really is no kind and gentle way of making somebody feel ashamed and humiliated.
You're not going to 'stoop to' explaining your comments? Well, my apologies. I was clearly in the wrong to think that I'd misunderstood you. Those who disagree with you on this topic are not striving for Christ-like-ness.
FIRST of all you are not disagreeing with me, you are disagreeing with the LORD. I didn't write the Bible.
Fair enough. But that doesn't mean implying that anyone who doesn't agree with you is a 'lesser' christian. Could be that someone who doesn't struggle with sins of lust and jealousy is more spiritually advanced
And who said I called anyone a lesser christian. I Know about this topic from first hand experience. I had some guy come unto me that I thought was a friend & it all started with a look!! So before you make accusations, maybe you could actually listen to someone who has been through it & is simply trying to help others from being sucked in, instead og attacking everything someone says to you.
Noooooo, I was trying to argue that what YOU state is wrong. In places. And unless you're claiming to be as inspired as the writers of the NT, you can't really legitimately question the state of someone's spiritual walk because they don't agree with you. Jesus rather clearly said that just looking at a woman WITH LUST was a form of the sin of adultery. I don't think ANYONE here has disagreed with that. So your charge of someone (me? TW?) saying that the bible is wrong seems a little ridiculous, to put it mildly.
I have not stated anything here that was not biblical.
Maybe instead of attacking people, you should look at how they are trying to help or what you can get from it. People on here are mostly not looking for an argument, they are trying to keep people on the right path, I know that, because they have helped me.
Where have I disagreed with the bible?FIRST of all you are not disagreeing with me, you are disagreeing with the LORD. I didn't write the Bible.
You wrote this:And who said I called anyone a lesser christian.
The distinct implication is - those people in this thread who are 'not understanding what this site is about' are not 'striving to live a moral life' etc.I think some people on here are not understanding what this site is for. This site is for people who are striving to live a moral life & try to live more like Jesus!!
Well, any bad interaction between people is almost guaranteed to start with 'a look'. Ditto any good interaction.I Know about this topic from first hand experience. I had some guy come unto me that I thought was a friend & it all started with a look!!
Errrr... lemme get this straight. You make backhanded nasty comments about 'some people' in this thread, and I'M the one who's attacking?So before you make accusations, maybe you could actually listen to someone who has been through it & is simply trying to help others from being sucked in, instead og attacking everything someone says to you.
Maybe instead of complaining about being attacked, you could simply provide the clarification requested in the first place?Maybe instead of attacking people, you should look at how they are trying to help or what you can get from it. People on here are mostly not looking for an argument, they are trying to keep people on the right path, I know that, because they have helped me.
See, I don't get where people have been trying to 'determine what we can get away with'. So the only conclusion I've been able to draw is that you're of the opinion that looking at someone and saying (or thinking) "wow, (s)he's gorgeous!" or "look at those muscles!" is attempting to at least flirt with temptation. The way you've explained your position - which mostly seems fairly sensible! - just seems to me to imply that people in this thread are specifically doing the wrong thing, or dangerous things.I actively guard the precious sexuality I have with my husband. This means that I won't let anything into my heart or mind that would even have the slightest possibility of diminishing my husband's sexual attraction in my mind. I don't know if this is making sense, but I am trying. I also want to state that no one here is better than anyone else. We all naturally want to do what feels good to the flesh. My point has just been that if we are asking the right questions, this issue wouldn't exist at all. We wouldn't be trying to determine what we can get away with.
I had problems with my husbands wandering eyes and heart. It had nothing to do with my apperance. I was sick, and instead of taking the time to pray for me, with me, or just hold me, he was disgusted that I couldn't make love and spent the rest of the evening checking out websites with scantily dressed women on them.(general statement not directed at any 1 person)
We look for the same reasons women look. There is something to look at.
What is the big deal? I think all of these questions (male and female) just stem from personal insecurites. We get ticked that someone else is hotter they we are. Sorry, this is reality,,, deal!!!!
I also think alot of this complaining comes from lazyness. It is eaiser to blame the guy/girl who looks, then it is to work out, dress nice, and be sexy for your spouse.
Accept your spouses flaws, because both parties are siners. The quicker you accept and move on the quicker you can both be happy. Men and women do not change. The quicker we can concentrate on the 80% that our spouses do well every day, the more insignificant the 20% they do wrong will become.
I had problems with my husbands wandering eyes and heart. It had nothing to do with my apperance. I was sick, and instead of taking the time to pray for me, with me, or just hold me, he was disgusted that I couldn't make love and spent the rest of the evening checking out websites with scantily dressed women on them.
He felt bad afterwards, and repented, asked forgiveness and got it. However, it had nothing to do with the fact of me being too lazy to look nice for him, or my insecurities....what a line of BULL.
Jesus said that if you even look at a women to lust after her, you've already commited adultrey.....that's why it's a big deal. We aren't dealing with just 20% thats wrong issue, We're dealing with a heart issue that God CAN CHANGE, and that will effect them ETERNALLY if not dealt with.
I think the original asker would like to know what real heart motives are there, not just who is justifying it or not...
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