The thing about toll houses is they should not be seen as literal.
We must in fact be purged of any sinful inclinations. That should be happening to Christians as they live their lives on earth. And few are actually perfected by the time they die.
How God perfects this purging - we do not know. It could well be an instantaneous thing after we die.
But we are suspicious of the doctrine purgatory because of the supposed long times necessary, the possibility of being let out due to indulgences or merits, and the things explained by it that God has simply not given us to know.
Suffering CAN purge people of sin ... particularly of pride, for example, since it is very humbling. But we do not consider that suffering is God's only means of purifying us.
We have a lot of teaching (in Orthodoxy) about cooperating with the grace of God and being transformed into the likeness of Christ, as far as we are able, because we consider it our reasonable sacrifice. But we have very little about the completion of such things after death, since God has not given us that knowledge.