Thank you to everyone who has replied; I appreciate all of your posts.
I have no idea whether I will eventually end up within a denomination as my Christian home or not, so I didn't want to wait to ask about this. Right now I am trying to figure out so many things and it is honestly overwhelming.
Sometimes I feel as though what I need is a little from Column A and a little from Column B, etc. But the last thing I want is to be someone who seeks to impose their own will over the form, beliefs, and practices of my church. I want to do the best I can to find The Truth and then to see which church/denomination is the closest to that. But that feels a bit hopeless, to be honest.
obviously, there are many variations of the baptism ritual and the reasons behind it in the body of Christ; but most of the body of Christ would agree that the Bible is the majority of the written representation of the Living Word of God (given that some add additional texts as included in the written representation of the Living Word of God, or question accuracy of translations, etc.); so let's look at some of what the Bible says about baptism.
the majority of scholars of the Greek language used in Jesus' time agree that the word 'baptize' means 'immerse' - but the medium into which one is to be immersed is
not part of the definition of the word 'baptize' as used in the Bible. the Bible refers to several mediums, the most familiar of course is water; but it also speaks of baptism with the Holy Spirit, baptism with fire, baptism to Jesus' death...
(Mat 3:11)
I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance: but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost, and with fire:
(Mat 3:12) Whose fan is in his hand, and he will throughly purge his floor, and gather his wheat into the garner; but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.
to me, the word "but" means that although what preceded the word "but" in a sentence is factual, those facts are overridden by the Truth that follows the word "but"...
here, John clearly differentiates between his baptism 'with water' and Jesus' baptism 'with the Holy Spirit and with fire'.
(Act 11:16) Then remembered I the word of the Lord, how that he said,
John indeed baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost.
it seems plain to me from Acts 11:16 above scripture that Jesus is differentiating between the baptism that John taught for his disciples, and and the baptism that Jesus intended for His disciples...and He specifies that the medium to be immersed (baptized) with is the Holy Ghost (generally believed to be the same as the Holy Spirit).
(Rom 6:1) What, then, shall we say? shall we continue in the sin that the grace may abound?
(Rom 6:2) let it not be! we who died to the sin—how shall we still live in it?
(Rom 6:3) are ye ignorant that
we, as many as were baptized to Christ Jesus, to his death were baptized?
(Rom 6:4) we were buried together, then, with him through the baptism to the death, that even as Christ was raised up out of the dead through the glory of the Father, so also we in newness of life might walk.
(Rom 6:5) For, if we have become planted together to the likeness of his death, so also we shall be of the rising again;
(Rom 6:6) this knowing, that our old man was crucified with him , that the body of the sin may be made useless, for our no longer serving the sin;
(Rom 6:7) for he who hath died hath been set free from the sin.
here, the medium we are baptized (immersed) into is death - for us the death of the 'old man', and as Jesus rose from the dead, we too rose from the dead as new creatures, now free from the bondage brought by sin.
(Act 13:23) Of this man's seed hath God according to his promise raised unto Israel a Saviour, Jesus:
(Act 13:24) When John had first preached before his coming the baptism of repentance
to all the people of Israel.
Acts 13:24 doesn't say that John first preached the baptism of repentance to all nations and peoples, but to "all the house of Israel" (who, btw, were under the Law of Moses that had been perverted by Israel into a ritual-based religion that centered on one's performance, instead of the Law of Faith in Grace that centers on knowing God without regard to one's performance, bad
or good).
(Mat 28:18) And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying,
All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.
(Mat 28:19) Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
(Mat 28:20) Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
in verse 19, Jesus clearly instructed that all nations be baptized - but into what medium? water, the Holy Spirit, fire, death, some other medium? the body of Christ at large has assumed that the medium implied here is water - but how can this be reconciled with Jesus' clarification that His disciples would be "...
baptized with the Holy Ghost", or John's clarification that although
he baptized with water,
Jesus would baptize with the Holy Spirit and with fire'?
(1Co 1:13) Hath the Christ been divided? was Paul crucified for you? or to the name of Paul were ye baptized;
(1Co 1:14) I give thanks to God that no one of you did I baptize, except Crispus and Gaius—
(1Co 1:15) that no one may say that to my own name I did baptize;
(1Co 1:16) and I did baptize also Stephanas' household—further, I have not known if I did baptize any other.
(1Co 1:17)
For Christ did not send me to baptize, but—to proclaim good news; not in wisdom of discourse, that the cross of the Christ may not be made of none effect;
(1Co 1:18) for the word of the cross to those indeed perishing is foolishness, and to us—those being saved—it is the power of God,
(1Co 1:19) for it hath been written, 'I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the intelligence of the intelligent I will bring to nought;'
(1Co 1:20) where is the wise? where the scribe? where a disputer of this age? did not God make foolish the wisdom of this world?
(1Co 1:21) for, seeing in the wisdom of God the world through the wisdom knew not God,
it did please God through the foolishness of the preaching to save those believing.
Here, Paul makes it clear that salvation is not dependent on baptism, regardless of the medium - people are saved through 'the foolishness of preaching'; the 'hearing and hearing' of God's Word that diminishes doubt and unbinds faith in God.
my advice is to set aside this decision, and do not choose a church to attend based on how they require baptism and what medium of baptism they require - let God lead you to a church, and no matter what they teach, let God's Word be what you base your decision about water baptism on, and not the wisdom of man - while remaining open to receiving water baptism again in the form required if necessary in order to avoid offending those that God has sent you to.
-edited to change the quote from Mat 3:11, 12 to the KJV for consitency