A problem.

[GarrickBrewer]

I have a problem that i cannot solve myself. There is this girl, she is a couple years older than me but we love eachother, but that is not the problem. She does not beleive in jesus, in fact she thinks that a lot of christians are nut jobs. She leads somewhat of a sinful life, she has done drugs in the past, she has had sex before marriage. She is different know but some things are still sinful about her. She has promised me intercourse in a year or two (we dont want to rush into a relationship) but the problem i am having is i dont know how to explain to her that i dont want to do it because i think intercoarse outside of marriage is wrong because it is a sin. I am also bothered by the fact that she is not a christian. But we are in love, not just teenager puppy love, we both have very strong morales when it comes to relation ships, but honest tru love. I dont know what to do, I am afraid to try to make her a christian in case i offend her and we are no longer together, but i would love it if she was one. I am trying to figure out if this is a test by god to see how dedicated i am to him, or a temptation by satan to lure me away from him. Either way i will never turn my back on god, but i do not know what to tell her.

 

[solarwave]

I suppose you should just tell her that you are a Christian and that you believe that it is wrong to have sex outside of marriage. You can ask if she is curious about what you believe, since you are going out, and if she wants she can come to church with you or just ask you questions about what you believe.

Just be real about how you feel and if you keep your morals you will do what is right by God.

Can I ask how old you are?

 

[GarrickBrewer]

I am 15, but have had to do things that have forced maturity far beyond my years upon me

 

[Comatose]

Okay, from one man (that has been through this) to another, just tell her.

I met a girl at camp, who said she was "Baptist" but she told me later that she was a person who believed God made the Earth, then left, but it was too late, I fell in love with her, and she with me. I was at dinner with her and some others, and the topic of sex came up, and somehow, I was the only one at the table to not have had sex before, and I said, "I don't think sex is good before marriage." They took it quite well, and the thing about this type of people is that they accept things without taking a second glance. So I got my thoughts out there, and later that day, the girl came up to me and we talked about Christianity for a while, because she had never had a Christian actually like her even though they knew she had had sex before. Even though we are three hours away from each other, we still talk, and we still really love each other. She is still asking questions about Christianity and I'm praying for her everyday!

You MUST MUST MUST tell her now. And if she accepts it, all you can do is pray that God helps her find the error of her ways.

Hope that helps man!
Comatose

 

[GarrickBrewer]

I have told her last night, but she just said we will wait a couple years to make sure that we are truly dedicated to eachother, she did not understand that i meant not until marriage, but she seemed somewhat accepting of it.

 

[solarwave]

Did you use the words, not sex before marriage?

 

[Comatose]

That's a big part of it amigo! Tell her, you're waiting till AFTER marriage!

 

[GarrickBrewer]

I did but she thought i ment just the commitment of it, not the actualy waiting for MARRIAGE

 

[Comatose]

Ugh.. Dude.. That is a MUST that she understands that, if not, she will just keep aiming towards being "Close enough" to do "it" and then again, you will have to explain it.. again..

 

[Kixa]

If God planned for you to be together than he will give you the wisdom and courage to encourage her to become a Christian, all you have to do is ask.
God shows in the scripture that He doesn't want Christians marrying unbelievers.
I bet you guys really are in love, and if that's the case than you surely wouldn't want her going to hell.

 

[Comatose]

I agree! Don't get super involved, unless she is a Christian.. You MUST follow this, I read a story once..

A man fell in love with a woman who wasn't a Christian but sang all the hymns, did all the lunches, but never really "knew" Christ. He found out later on after they got married, that she was dying, and on her death bed, he asked if she was a Christian. She said, no, and he started crying, at that point, her inlness kicked in, and she moved into the 3rd stage, (Loss of vocals and movement) and he asked her, do you want to, and all she could do is tear up and as he was praying the prayer, she passed away. He continued living his life never knowing if his wife Jenny went to Heaven or not.

I really don't want you to have to go through that from one Christian to another, the man this happened to was from a radio show called "Adventures In Odyssey" I heard when I was really little, but that episode really struck out at me now that I am older and dating. Pray about this day and night. If this is God's plan that you two get together, He will work something out, but be prepared just in case it turns out, it's not His plan.

Hope that helps a little.
Comatose

 

[GarrickBrewer]

well she said she might consider going to my youth group to understand why i love it so much

 

[Comatose]

That's AMAZING! Hope she does!

 

[GarrickBrewer]

The only reason i am worried is because she has a bad view of christians because all christians she met as a child were people who were mentaly unstable and she associates that with a lot of christians now. I mean her best friends mom started screaming that she was possesed and tried to perform a holy water exocism on her. I am trying to figure out a way to introduce her to it slowly.

 

[Comatose]

You might wanna get her into a youth group that has people she knows, so that she knows other people.

 

[GarrickBrewer]

She doesnt know anyone that goes there, plus i talked with her last night and i dont think the chances of her becoming a christian are goo. she says that she doesnt agree with a lot of what christianity teaches, and she says that it is a crutch for people to use when they cant take responsibility for their own lives. I am getting very discouraged, i am considering fasting for a couple days and praying on the matter.

 

[solarwave]

Or atheism is a crutch for those who cant bare the reality of God.

Also I heard of a guy called Paul who 2000 years ago was attacking Christianity but then converted

 

[Comatose]

Discouragement is Satan's tool to win. You can't let him win! Pray that God guides her to what is true.

Many atheists say that they don't like Christians because they believe in something that is just phooey.. Wait.. Don't you have to believe in atheism to be an atheist? Don't you have to believe that God doesn't exist to be an atheist? I thought so.. Don't let her give you this "God is a crutch" crap.. It doesn't make logical sense. My father does research into archeological digs all over the world that are looking (and finding) things from the Bible exactly as it's described in the Bible. Wait.. That means.. OH MY GOSH! The Bible is true from a scientific standpoint as well? It can't be!

Dude.. I'm being sarcastic, but you must see my point by now. She is telling you basically that she won't give it a chance and she's covering it up with the "Crutch" business.. I hate that you have to deal with it, but fact of the matter is that all you can do is pray, pray, pray, that God gives her the strength to find the truth. Invite her to youth events, Christian concerts, anything, but don't get in her face, make sure that she SEES you have something as a Christian that she doesn't have as whatever she is! Keep us updated!!

 

[itisdeliciouscake]

get out of the relationship

 

[GarrickBrewer]

Dude.. I'm being sarcastic, but you must see my point by now. She is telling you basically that she won't give it a chance and she's covering it up with the "Crutch" business.. I hate that you have to deal with it, but fact of the matter is that all you can do is pray, pray, pray, that God gives her the strength to find the truth. Invite her to youth events, Christian concerts, anything, but don't get in her face, make sure that she SEES you have something as a Christian that she doesn't have as whatever she is! Keep us updated!!

Thats what i needed to hear, thank you.