A poem for my Danny

[c1ners]

Shhhhh, this is my safe place


Shhhhh, this is my safe place.
A place where I can hide.
A place where I don't have to abide
to all the rules that people place on my head.
A place where my tears have a place to shead.

They tell me that I have to be strong,
That the way that I feel is oh so wrong.

But they weren't there.
They don't have to see
All the nightmares
That still haunt me.

I saw the windshield
Where his face hit three times.

There wasn't a trace of the face that I loved.
It was all in the windshield,
right up above.
His flesh, his skin, and even an eye.
I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.

Don't give me advise,
Or sympathy please.
Just let me write,
and have a chance to grieve.

 

[c1ners]

TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS?

People say that time heals all wounds.
Does it? Does it Really?
Why than am I sitting here with tears
Running down my cheeks? With a lump
In my throat and a heart so heavy that I
Think it might just break in two?

It’s been over eighteen years. I remember
It like it was yesterday. I remember the
Overwhelming feeling of peace as I touched
Your face and told you that I loved you.
I remember the fear as I turned my head
Back towards the traffic and saw that car
Heading towards us. I remember the total
Feeling of uselessness as I sat and watched
As you took your last breathe and died.

People say that time heals all wounds.
Does it? Does it really now?
I DON’T THINK SO.

 

[c1ners]

You Promised

You promised you'd never leave me.
You promised I'd never be alone.

Yet here I sit trying to remember your face.
Trying to hold on to your embrace.

It's been 18 years, and I still can't stop the tears.

I smell your cologne, and I know that you're near.
Yet I can't see you.
I can't touch you.
And the pain is almost more than I can bare.

I don't know how I've gotten through each day without you.
You were my life.
My reason for each tomorrow.
But life goes on even though you're gone.

I may not be able to see you, but I know that you're here.
You promised.
You promised you'd never leave me.
You promised I'd never be alone.

 

[c1ners]

This one is from Katrina.

Daddy where are you?

Daddy where are you? It's time for bed.
Mommy has already come in to kiss my head.
She sang me your song,and said I'd be
alright. She tucked me in and got me ready
for the night. I hear Mommy crying in her
room. She misses you daddy. Won't you come
back soon? Mommy says that you went to live
with God. Did we do something wrong? Why
have you left us?
It's fourteen years later, and again it's
time for bed. Mommy has come in to kiss my
head. She tucks me in, and sings me your
song. Daddy where are you? I ask you again.
Why haven't you come to tuck me in?

 

[c1ners]

I miss you my Danny

I miss you my Danny
more than words can say.
I miss you my Danny
with each passing day.

There's a hole in my heart
which you once filled.
A hole that I know
will never be healed.

Nobody knows the pain that I'm in.
The constant pain
That has no end.

I miss you my Danny. More than words can say.
I miss you my Danny with each passing day.

 

[c1ners]

A poem for my Danny


Oh how I long to be in your arms.
To touch your face and to gaze lovingly into your beautiful eyes.
To feel your body next to mine, and know that all is right with the world.

But it's just a dream. A dream that I know will never come true.
The world will never be right again, and my broken heart will never mend.
I loe you my Danny. My husband. My bestfriend.

 

[c1ners]

It's been a hard day today Danny.
I've been trying to talk someone out of committing suicide.
It really scared me.
For a while there I thought I had lost her.
I wasn't about to let her go without telling her about Jesus. I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
I know you're in Heaven though.
You're waiting on me.
I'll be there one day Danny.
Please don't give up on me.
It's all in God's timing.
I still have a lot of work here left to do.
I miss you every day.

 

[c1ners]

I miss you Danny.

 

[c1ners]

I hate life without you Danny.
Why did you have to go away?
Why did you have to leave me all alone in this cruel world?
I try so hard to make it good. I try to be strong,
But I'm not. I am NOT STRONG!
I hate it! I hate everything about it!

 

[c1ners]

I love you Danny.

 

[c1ners]

I miss you Danny.
My first love.
My bestfriend.
I know you're in Heaven,
but that still doesn't stop the pain.
I want you here with me.
Selfish, isn't it?
I know you're out of pain.
Your cancer is gone.
You never felt the pain from the car accident.
I would have taken care of you.
But you didn't want to live.
You left me.
And it hurts.

 

[c1ners]

I miss you Danny.

 

[c1ners]

My heart is sad today Danny.
But I have so many more memories with you than I have with my now husband.
Good, wonderful memories.
They make me smile,
but yet they make me sad.
I'm happy that we loved each other so very much.
But it hurts me to know that I'll never have that love again.
I miss you Danny.
I love you so much that it hurts inside.

 

[c1ners]

Does God allow you to think of me Danny?
Do you think of me as often as I think of you?

I once had a dream.
In this dream it was Christmas time here in Florida.
We (me and the girls) were outside playing when the mailperson drove up. In his truck was a package addressed to you.
I asked him where he was going with it, but he wouldn't tell me.
So, when he drove off, I jumped on my bike and paddled after him.
It soon started snowing. (Meaning I was now in New York).
I kept paddling until finally the postman stopped in front of this big old house.
It was the kind of house that you always wanted.
After he was gone, I went inside.
Right at the front door was a set of stairs, so I started climbing.
I climbed, and I climbed, and I climbed.
Finally I reached the top, and there you were.
I ran to hug you and tell you how much I've missed you and still love you.
You took me by my shoulders and lead me to the window.
When I looked out I saw me.
Me with the girls.
Me at work.
Me at home.
Me laughing.
Me crying.
ect.... ect...
You gently turned me towards you, and without speaking a word, you told me that even though I can't see you, you're always there.
Watching.
And when times get too rough all I have to do is call out your name, and you'll be there. Right beside me.

That dream was five years ago Danny. I still remember it.
It makes me feel better to know that you are still here.
You promised you'd never leave me. And I know you won't. Even from Heaven, you are still here.
I LOVE YOU!

 

[c1ners]

I'm having a hard time right now Danny.
I tried to help her, but she still killed herself.

I tried to put myself in her shoes,but still I couldn't
understand.
I hurt, but how could someone hurt so bad that they would want to take their own life?

I wish I could have given her more,
but I know that I did all I could.

I told her about Jesus.
That's the one thing I didn't tell you.
You asked, and I didn't tell you.
I'm so sorry.
I've learned my lesson,
and I did tell Janet.
Maybe in the end she cried out to Jesus.
I guess I won't know that until I get to Heaven myself.

I miss you Danny.
I sure could use your loving arms around me right now.
I've not been this sad in a while.

If she goes to Heaven, will you take care of her Danny?
Let her know that she's touched my life, and I'll never forget her.

I love you my husband
My bestfriend.

 

[c1ners]

DANNY!

 

[c1ners]

I love u

 

[c1ners]

I love you Danny.
I always will.
It's not that I'm leaving you,
but just letting you go.
You need to be free.
You made a promise,
and I held you to it.
But it's time for me to let go.
I know I'll see you again one day in Heaven.
I look forward to that day.

I'll never stop loving you.
You'll always be my Danny.
My first love.
My first husband.
And my bestfriend.



I couldn't do it. I'm sorry.
I can't let him go.
He's all I have.
Please forgive me.
I still need this.

 

[c1ners]

An interesting subject just came up Danny.
Someone asked if we would be married in Heaven.
I really don't have the answer to that question,
but I really honestly can't handle thinking that I won't be with you in Heaven. It just wouldn't be fair.
I don't know why I'm having to live my life here on earth without you. I know in my heart that God wouldn't be so cruel as to make me live through eternity without you too.
Maybe you won't be my husband, but you will be there.
I will get to sit next to you as we worship our God together.

I can't do it. I can't deal with thinking that I won't be allowed to be with you in Heaven. I love you too much.
I just....
I just love you too much.
My heart is hurting just thinking about it.

You promised Danny.
You promised you'd never leave me.
You're the only man I have ever truly loved.
You have to remember me.
You have to.

 

[c1ners]

Your dad is sick Danny.
He's been in the hospital for two weeks now.
He thought he had indigestion,
but there were so many things wrong.

He's got a bleeding ulcer,
He's diabetic,
and his arteries are clogged.

All this he found out when he went to the
doctors for indigestion.

Katrina's wedding is 2 1/2 months away.
Your dad is walking her down the aisle.
Should I tell him not to?
Should I tell him that he shouldn't worry about it?
That I'll do it instead?
Or will that just make him worse?

I wish you could be there Danny.
You've missed so much of her life.
Her first day of school.
Her school plays.
Her baptism.
Her church plays.
Sweet sixteen.
First date
Prom
Graduation
And now, her wedding.

Why?
It all seems so pointless.
I don't understand it.
There are so many bad people in this world.
Why did you have to die?
You, the best man I've ever known.
You, who had so much to offer the world.
You, who were so young.
So bright, so wonderful.
I just don't understand Danny.
You were my life.
You were my world.
Now everything is so empty.
Me....I'm empty.
I'll never be able to stop loving you.
I don't know how people do it.
You're still so much a part of me.
The best part. The good part.

I love you Danny.
I love you so very much.