A personal issue...

[DaRev]

Is the ceremony more important than the marriage?

No, but what kind of marriage is it going to be when it's done outside of God's institution?

 

[synger]

We were in a similar situation. We had no church home at the time, nor were we attending regularly. We were not interested in a civil marriage only. So we took the "priesthood of all believers" thing rather to heart. We exchanged our vows in a private ceremony sans officiator. We were married in a church five months later.

Would I do it the same way today? No. Nor would I recommend it. At the time, it seemed the only way in our situation to do anything close to "the right thing."

God has blessed our marriage amazingly, even with the decidedly rocky start we had.

 

[porterross]

Is the ceremony more important than the marriage?

God's blessing of the union is more important than civil law. A courthouse civil service performed by a JOP would not work for me.
At this point in life, I couldn't care less what an ever-changing level of tolerance society thinks. It's God's command that matters to me and nothing short of a union before the altar conducted by an ordained servant of the Word would mean I was married. Whether there were 3 or 300 witnesses is of no consequence.