A non-internet mate

[KeilCoppes]

In response to Idealists and Rationalists being completely different, I'm a strong INTJ yet I'd consider myself an idealist. Of course, I have very rational reasons for being an idealist

If I recall, Keirsey would say that the difference is that Rationalists are understanding and thinking about things while the Idealists are about seeking the ultimate truth in who they are. And then there are those of us who are an amalgram of the two, who want to find the truth in ourselves and understand how that applies to the world and people around us.

 

[Glorianna]

I met my boyfriend (and most likely one day he'll be my fiance) here at CF. I absolutely hate telling people where we met because nobody seems to agree with it. What the heck is wrong with meeting someone online? I met Clay in person a few months after we met online and we got along great, so what's the big deal?

 

[ChrisB803]

This is funny, because I was just about to start a new thread asking people for their opinions on Internet Dating sites, and such as that. I may still do that, since I don't know if that's the exact topic here, but in response to some of what's been said I have these thoughts:

1) It is possible that twenty years from now it will be completely common for people to meet through the Internet. As higher speed Internet is available, I believe video phones and video e-mail will become more prevalent. (That's not entirely a good thing, but such is progress)
2) I agree with some that you definitely need to meet someone face to face before you know. There is so much about a person that only their voice and their body language can say, but I think the Internet does give you a way to get to know some things about someone before you meet. Kind of gets rid of some of the awkward moments.

I guess it's all a give and take. There are good and bad points to the whole issue. I personally have gone on some dating sites, not with the intetion of finding a date or a spouse, but with the idea of meeting intelligent people to talk with. I like the fact that some of the screening is done by the questions people have to fill out, so I know before I make an attempt to communicate whether you would be someone worth trying to get to know. At this point in my life I don't want to get married to someone off the Internet (especially considering the person I'm still holding out hope for was someone I didn't meet online). However, I wouldn't count it out completely.

 

[waterbear]

If I recall, Keirsey would say that the difference is that Rationalists are understanding and thinking about things while the Idealists are about seeking the ultimate truth in who they are. And then there are those of us who are an amalgram of the two, who want to find the truth in ourselves and understand how that applies to the world and people around us.

According to those definitions, ages 14-15 pure Idealist, 15-18 pure Rationalist, 18-22 mixed, present pure Idealist again. Yet I took the Keirsey typology test recently (as an Idealist) and got ~80% preferences for both N and T.

I've generally thought that my personality is a mutable entity, and that it has changed at least once between ages 13-15. That and this Idealist mismatch may make me an anomaly

 

[waterbear]

As for online dating, it works reasonably well for girls. For guys, there are more efficient approaches than online dating services... read the reviews on Match.com - males almost always outnumber the girls and inundate the girls with "lets chat!" messages. That's not surprising considering uncertainity and discomfort are the main reasons why guys aren't more direct in other mediums, neither being present in online dating services. Also, she gets all these messages simultaneously, so you have a very good chance of not even getting noticed in the mess. In other mediums, things occur in serial so you get your 5 mins.

 

[caitlincares]

I met my boyfriend (and most likely one day he'll be my fiance) here at CF. I absolutely hate telling people where we met because nobody seems to agree with it. What the heck is wrong with meeting someone online? I met Clay in person a few months after we met online and we got along great, so what's the big deal?

You should not have to feel bad about it.
You could say you met him at a Christian gathering - CF is a Christian gathering.

I know of a number of folks who have gotten together on CF.
CF's MsDe used to live here in Maine but went out to Utah and married CF's oldrooster.
They were not even looking for spouses but God made it happen.
And they are VERY happy.

 

[TriptychR]

As for online dating, it works reasonably well for girls. For guys, there are more efficient approaches than online dating services... read the reviews on Match.com - males almost always outnumber the girls and inundate the girls with "lets chat!" messages. That's not surprising considering uncertainity and discomfort are the main reasons why guys aren't more direct in other mediums, neither being present in online dating services. Also, she gets all these messages simultaneously, so you have a very good chance of not even getting noticed in the mess. In other mediums, things occur in serial so you get your 5 mins.

That's why I'm wary of online dating services. It seems almost too deseperate. Yet my potential relationship radar screen has been empty for several years now, and I can't say I haven't thought about trying one. There just seems to be no one around for me.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I thought that was the case. I have similar challenges as ENxP, with low E and P scores, sitting between the inventor and the philosopher, doing both engineering and art with a slight emphasis as ENTP suiting my personality well. It makes finding folks difficult , though as it's an unusual mix. Put all the N types together and you don't have much of the population. :^)

Oooh another Nx? Yay!! My I preference is moderate (certainly no E, nor will it ever be one but in smaller organized groups and one-on-one settings, I've been told I do not come off as an introvert at all). My J preference is low to moderate.

I don't find it hard to make friends, but as for finding people where that connection is there.... that's much harder.

Who do you think would be better for you as a spouse, an NT or NF? Any preference as for introvert/extrovert, also?