A non-believer problem... please help.

[Brenda55555]

There is this guy named BEN right. I have known him for about 2 years and our friendship has changed. When i first began to talk with him he was following the christian faith but many horrible things happened in his life and his friends at school asked him why his God would do this to him. That got him wondering and my friend jessie asked him if he believed in God and his answer was i dont know. He continued to talk but i didnt let him change the subject. I insisted that he see the movie. He said his friends said the passion of the christ was antisemetic but i told him no it wasnt because i have seen this movie for myself. I would like him to go back to christ and i dont know what to say to him. I am not sure if i should be the one to talk to him about it but he seems willing to hear about anything if it comes from me so my friend said he trusts me so much that i should be the person to speak upon this now. Since he will listen to me on this subject and very other few people. She says that i know alot about christ and that i will say the right things. She is trying to rush me though and i know that it must be done and not put off. I just dont feel that God wants me to rush with him. I feel that i need to do this on God's time not her. Please if there is anything you can do support or share a story similar or any information at all. Talk with me. If you need more information on BEN i can talk with you about him and God.



**Dont Rush the Best things in life ~ Brenda**

 

[midnight star]

Let him find his path on his own. Let him do it on his time. There are obviously reasons why he has been moving away from christianity, and unless you feel you can address those reason comfortably, in a way that is meaningful to him, then you are better letting him have time to figure things out by himself.

 

[Brenda55555]

It's just when i talk about it to him he seems like he understands it more. Just a little bit more. Then his friends talk to him and they fill his head with false teachings. He doesn't like christianity beccause he was told false things. He doesnt like the false things.

 

[midnight star]

what were the false things he was told

 

[Havoc]

It's just when i talk about it to him he seems like he understands it more. Just a little bit more. Then his friends talk to him and they fill his head with false teachings. He doesn't like christianity beccause he was told false things. He doesnt like the false things.

You mean what you consider false teachings. If the friends are advocating another spiritual path then they have just as much right as you to present their case. If he chooses a path that is non-Christian then maybe that's the best one for him.

 

[Brenda55555]

If he ends up believing something that is not true he may make it into something it is not. His friends tell him things about Jesus that were not true and that alters what he believes about Jesus. They tell him he did not suffer when he did. It says it plainly in the bible but i am not sure if i should reach a hand out and cause our love life to fall or just do it and have somebody saved. I ponder all these things in my heart maybe i should just act on God's will.

 

[midnight star]

so are his friends saying jesus didnt die on the cross?

 

[Achichem]

They tell him he did not suffer when he did.

If you think he is being lied to, then challage the sources of the lies.

Give him questions not answers is my suggestion.

 

[Havoc]

If he ends up believing something that is not true he may make it into something it is not. His friends tell him things about Jesus that were not true and that alters what he believes about Jesus. They tell him he did not suffer when he did. It says it plainly in the bible but i am not sure if i should reach a hand out and cause our love life to fall or just do it and have somebody saved. I ponder all these things in my heart maybe i should just act on God's will.

Once again these are things which are not true in your opinion. I, for instance, have no reason to believe in the crucifixion story. If someone were to ask me if it were true I would tell them there's no objective evidence that it is. Most of the people in the world do not believe the Bible is literal truth.

Given that it is not surprising that people who believe differently than you would be telling him things which you disagree with. If he chooses to accept their beliefs rather than yours, that's his choice. It's not a case of truth verses lies unless you can prove your beliefs are the truth, which you cannot.

Rather than waste your time telling him that other people (whom he obviously trusts at least a little) are lieing to him, you'd be far better off just presenting him with your beliefs and letting him decide. If you badmouth the other side you'll lose...every time.

 

[Brenda55555]

Yes his friends say that. They tell him anything so that he will not go to church because it is not the cool thing to do. ... thanx Datsar. I am also not telling him really that his friends are lyin to him... because would you listen to me if when i approached you on a subject i said your friends were lying.

 

[Achichem]

Yes his friends say that. They tell him anything so that he will not go to church because it is not the cool thing to do

Sadly that is life, but I think it good forus long term., it keeps us from getting stuck with norms we don't understand.

I am also not telling him really that his friends are lyin to him...

It is a good logic, but from experience the wrong action.

You have to say somthing! Just watch that you don't go preching and you'll be fine.

best of luck,
hope you both learn lots,
DaTsar

 

[AmeriLovesJesus]

Brenda,
You can try to help him.. and talk him into it.. but I sometimes the best thing to do is to let him go... (on that subject).. and just pray for him.. Dont worry about what those people are telling him about Jesus.. they can say what they want.. all they want.. but that wont change.. How we feel about Jesus.. He has had Jesus by his side before.. and Jesus has promised us he will never leave us.. So trust Jesus.. Trust God.. ok hun?.. I know its hard..

Cast all your burdens onto the lord... He will take care of it!!

It takes patience...

Sometimes people stray away from things like.. just so when we get it back we appreciate it more.. There were many times.. when Id become distant but I'd pray very hard... that no matter how far.. I'd go from God.. that he'd never leave my side.. I'd tell him.. that.. I'd always love him.. and always want to come back no matter how far I am.. even though he knows what Im feeling.. I still love telling him that..

I have a wonderful friend.. who so very precious to me.. as yours is to you..He lives far away.. I see him every once in awhile.. but not a day goes by that I dont pray for him.. and talk to him through Jesus..

I know because of my prayers.. He made it safely.. to my town a couple months ago to see me..

Honey prayer is the best thing you could ever do for him!!! ... You have done your work... now trust in the Lord...

How about this...

Instead of saying.. these things will happen to him if he doesnt follow the Christian religon...

Why not say.. You love him.. he is a dear friend of yours.. and while you are at it... tell him:
whether he believes in Jesus or not.. Jesus still believes in him..He may not love Jesus but Jesus loves him..

First try telling him you love him!! put a smile on your face... when hes sad.. and say to him.. that you believe in him and you love him..

I may be going in circles cause Im very tired.. sorry!!!

I hope you understood what I meant!!! I will write more in the morning!!! you PM me if you'd like!!!

 

[Riddick]

I can see you're getting a lot of input from non-christians. Watch out for those people. They might just want your friend to join their ranks just for the pride of it. Go by your own heart, what you feel is right.

Maybe you can invite him to go to church with you.

 

[Phinehas]

God is sovereign over all things, but remember that if your friend doesn't want to go to church, every person has their own path to follow. Help your friend to understand that the decisions he makes now are going to have consequences one way or another later on in his life and leave it at that. I know you care, just make sure your friend knows it too, but don't nag (unless he asks you to keep him accountable, but it sounds like he may have never wanted to be accountable to anyone in the first place). Whether anyone follows Christ or no is actually their own decision. I'm not saying don't try to be a good friend and help to guide them in their spiritual walk. I'm saying that when someone doesn't want guidance, give them a freedom, else they'll take it anyways, and your friendship will suffer. This doesn't mean you don't express concern to them, just that you make sure they realize that you're not trying to control them.
Be there for your friend, this shows the love of Christ. However, (and this ones a biggie)don't compromise your moral standards in trying to be there for them. Satan will try to lour you in like this, watch for it, and don't give him a victory. Above all things, pray for your friend. The Holy Spirit is who will truly draw your friend back to Him.
As well as this, you might actually want to read a few Christian apologetics books. Norman Geisler is a good author for this. Your friend will probably have some questions about various things at sometime or another. Pray and God will pull, and if your friend is willing, God will grant the increase in their life (I Cor. 3:7).
And last but not least, remember that many of the people in this forum aren't Christian, so some might try to tell you not to try anything to win your friend to Christ (although I see that some have given a good piece of advice here and there). May Christ strengthen and protect you, Brenda(55555 ).

 

[Havoc]

I can see you're getting a lot of input from non-christians. Watch out for those people. They might just want your friend to join their ranks just for the pride of it.

Naw we don't do Christian style proselytisation.

 

[Hydra009]

I can see you're getting a lot of input from non-christians. Watch out for those people. They might just want your friend to join their ranks just for the pride of it. Go by your own heart, what you feel is right.

Maybe you can invite him to go to church with you.

Yes, be paranoid about others, and do whatever you can to force your friend to believe exactly what you believe. Great idea.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that people should just back off and let this guy figure out his religious or non-religious affiliation for himself. Midnight Star was right about this situation.

 

[Kira Faye]

If u want my opinion u say u don't feel like rushing things, thats a very good idea. I say let him find his way back, BUT make sure he knows that u are all to happy to sit and talk to him about christianity and would love to help if he asks. If he says the untruths u mentions, quietly sit down with him and explain it and leave it at that. Let him come to u cause that means he is finding his own path and ur still helping. And if he does choose another path, please just respect his descision and love him the same.

 

[AmeriLovesJesus]

If u want my opinion u say u don't feel like rushing things, thats a very good idea. I say let him find his way back, BUT make sure he knows that u are all to happy to sit and talk to him about christianity and would love to help if he asks. If he says the untruths u mentions, quietly sit down with him and explain it and leave it at that. Let him come to u cause that means he is finding his own path and ur still helping. And if he does choose another path, please just respect his descision and love him the same.

I agree with you Kira!!! ... You cant really pressure anyone into making a descion!!!

 

[I am Sam]

"....many horrible things happened in his life and his friends at school asked him why his God would do this to him...."
God puts his devotees through trails and tribulations so they will turn to him in their hour of need.

 

[I am Sam]

God loves those who love and serve His beings especially his human beings.
"The truly religious person is the good-hearted person who professes no religion"