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2.At the same time being told that the children will always come first, reasonable or no. Would you like to be told that his children from a previous relationship will always trump your needs?
3.Being expected to pay for someone else's children on top of it all.
4.Allow you to give his money away whenever you feel like it.
It definitely takes a special man (or woman) to be a stepparent. If you're not that kind of man - no sweat, but don't assume that there aren't men out there willing to fill the position.
Of course there are, but so called "blended family marriages" end in divorce at much higher rates than even the already high average divorce rate. I don't think it is especially logical to believe that the attitude of "the kids come first" regardless of how unreasonable doesn't contribute to that. Most of what I've read on the subject also tends to indicate that mom starts out telling step-dad she doesn't expect money, but the long term realities are different and resentment is a natural by product of it. Nor do I think it's unreasonable to point out that single mom's often have very unrealistic expectations of the step-parent relationship, and tend to blame step-dad when that relationship isn't living up to expectations. But like P.T. Barnum said, "there's a sucker born every minute." Which is why we have large numbers of adults transitioning from one marriage to another, to another. At some point the cycle needs to be broken, and a big part of that is realizing there's simply more to life than what the kids want at any given moment.
Of course there are, but so called "blended family marriages" end in divorce at much higher rates than even the already high average divorce rate. I don't think it is especially logical to believe that the attitude of "the kids come first" regardless of how unreasonable doesn't contribute to that. Most of what I've read on the subject also tends to indicate that mom starts out telling step-dad she doesn't expect money, but the long term realities are different and resentment is a natural by product of it. Nor do I think it's unreasonable to point out that single mom's often have very unrealistic expectations of the step-parent relationship, and tend to blame step-dad when that relationship isn't living up to expectations. But like P.T. Barnum said, "there's a sucker born every minute." Which is why we have large numbers of adults transitioning from one marriage to another, to another. At some point the cycle needs to be broken, and a big part of that is realizing there's simply more to life than what the kids want at any given moment.
I hear ya about the height thing. I don't know how tall you are, but I'm around 5'8" or 5'9" and had a pretty hard and fast rule that I only dated guys that were 6'2" and taller. So, who did I fall in love with? A guy who is maybe 5'11". lol It's all good, though - he loves when I wear heels, even if it means I'm as tall or taller than he is. So, I've learned that it's not their height that matters as much as it is that they're OK with the fact that the woman they're dating is tall.
Just thought that I would point out that I am 6'4"
*puffs out chest and flexes muscles*
Coach
Are you serious, flnative!?! We're almost the same height, too!
Ohhhhhhhh brother!Just thought that I would point out that I am 6'4"
*puffs out chest and flexes muscles*
Coach
I don't have a specific height they should be (well, 6ft+ would be nice but that's not a steadfast rule)...they just have to be taller than me...even if it's 1/2 an inch!I'm 5'10.5"...
There were a lot of guys that were taller than me when I was in college (but I played bball and all of the bball guys are tall) but now that I'm in the real world...I rarely meet guys who are taller than me. And, if they are, they're nowhere close to being a Christian so I'd never date them. For some reason, all of the tall guys I meet think they are God's gift to women and...well...let's just say...they don't "commit". I guess they don't commit b/c most girls go ga-ga over tall guys. I dunno...just my experience.
So, I'm just waiting for God to send me my miracle; a tall guy who doesn't think he's a pimp!
Edit: Well, not "send me" b/c I know I have to put in an effort but eh...you know what I mean.
Note: I know I'm making generalizations and I know there are tall guys out there that don't think they're pimps; I've just never come across one. I'm sure they are out there, though.
Lol. Nice!
FOR REAL! I know what you mean. The guys that I dated that were in the 6'2" to 6'9" range were all pretty cocky. The taller they were, the cockier they were, too. LOL
Oh, don't encourage him. His ego barely fits through the CF door as it is.
Just thought that I would point out that I am 6'4"
*puffs out chest and flexes muscles*
Coach
flnativegrl said:FOR REAL! I know what you mean. The guys that I dated that were in the 6'2" to 6'9" range were all pretty cocky. The taller they were, the cockier they were, too. LOL
So, I'm just waiting for God to send me my miracle; a tall guy who doesn't think he's a pimp!
*hides pimp hat and goldfish shoes under the desk*
But seriously... there are lots of tall guys who aren't full of themselves. I'm sure you'll find one.
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