- May 29, 2009
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- 1,416
- Country
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- Male
- Faith
- Lutheran
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- Married
... Guacamole.
Avocados -
1. Gotta be ripe. No hard, unripe ones. Some small brown spots not an issue.
2. Gotta be chunky. No over-stirring. And for heaven's sake, no food processoring.
Tomatoes -
1. Summer garden ones best, obviously. Otherwise, Romas.
2. Cubed, not seeded. Chunky.
Jalapenos -
1. Usu. just one, nice, fresh. Seeded. Finely chopped.
2. (Can't make an enye on wife's machine.)
Lime -
1. Gotta be able to taste the lime. Juice from 1 1/2 or 2 minimum.
2. Lime zest is a plus.
Onion -
1. Sweet onions best, but not absolutely necessary.
2. Finely chopped, no big onion chunks.
3. Not too much. One small or 1/2 a large is plenty.
Garlic -
1. Fresh garlic only. Garlic salt or powder need not apply.
2. Finely chopped or pressed.
3. Gotta be enough. 2 - 3 large cloves minimum.
Cilantro -
1. Fresh, obviously, not dried.
2. Coarsely chopped to release the flavor.
3. Gotta be enough. One nice heaping handful usu. sufficient.
Oregano -
1. Fresh, real oregano is best. Dried real oregano will do.
2. Gotta be real, spicy, peppery oregano. Not weak marjoram pretending to be oregano.
Basil -
1. Fresh is best, dried will do.
2. Don't skimp.
Salt -
1. For heaven's sake, not too much salt. It's an enhancer, not a primary flavor.
Black Pepper -
1. Fresh-ground only. Just do it.
Chips -
1. Fresh Guac deserves fresh chips. Fry up your own corn tortillas.
2. Otherwise, use restaurant quality corn chips.
3. Fried flour tortillas are sometimes a fun option.
3. Fritos, disallowed.
4. Potato chips. Are you kidding?
Prohibited ingredients -
1. Cumin. Cilantro is so much better.
2. Celery. Guac is not supposed to be crunchy.
3. Cheese. Just say no.
4. Never Mayonaise. = Guacamole heresy.
5. Never, never Miracle Whip. = Guacamole blasphemy.
Overall Presentation -
1. Guac should be chunky with recognizable pieces of ingredients.
2. Guac should be cool, but not cold.
3. Guac should be served in an appropriate, large, single bowl with 360 degree access for maximum socialization.
Avocados -
1. Gotta be ripe. No hard, unripe ones. Some small brown spots not an issue.
2. Gotta be chunky. No over-stirring. And for heaven's sake, no food processoring.
Tomatoes -
1. Summer garden ones best, obviously. Otherwise, Romas.
2. Cubed, not seeded. Chunky.
Jalapenos -
1. Usu. just one, nice, fresh. Seeded. Finely chopped.
2. (Can't make an enye on wife's machine.)
Lime -
1. Gotta be able to taste the lime. Juice from 1 1/2 or 2 minimum.
2. Lime zest is a plus.
Onion -
1. Sweet onions best, but not absolutely necessary.
2. Finely chopped, no big onion chunks.
3. Not too much. One small or 1/2 a large is plenty.
Garlic -
1. Fresh garlic only. Garlic salt or powder need not apply.
2. Finely chopped or pressed.
3. Gotta be enough. 2 - 3 large cloves minimum.
Cilantro -
1. Fresh, obviously, not dried.
2. Coarsely chopped to release the flavor.
3. Gotta be enough. One nice heaping handful usu. sufficient.
Oregano -
1. Fresh, real oregano is best. Dried real oregano will do.
2. Gotta be real, spicy, peppery oregano. Not weak marjoram pretending to be oregano.
Basil -
1. Fresh is best, dried will do.
2. Don't skimp.
Salt -
1. For heaven's sake, not too much salt. It's an enhancer, not a primary flavor.
Black Pepper -
1. Fresh-ground only. Just do it.
Chips -
1. Fresh Guac deserves fresh chips. Fry up your own corn tortillas.
2. Otherwise, use restaurant quality corn chips.
3. Fried flour tortillas are sometimes a fun option.
3. Fritos, disallowed.
4. Potato chips. Are you kidding?
Prohibited ingredients -
1. Cumin. Cilantro is so much better.
2. Celery. Guac is not supposed to be crunchy.
3. Cheese. Just say no.
4. Never Mayonaise. = Guacamole heresy.
5. Never, never Miracle Whip. = Guacamole blasphemy.
Overall Presentation -
1. Guac should be chunky with recognizable pieces of ingredients.
2. Guac should be cool, but not cold.
3. Guac should be served in an appropriate, large, single bowl with 360 degree access for maximum socialization.
