I don't post here often, but there are lots of new posts lately, maybe due to the winter months?
Anyway, I mainly want to address what msjones21 wrote, expressing her doubts, her fears -- which all of us share to one degree or another (even if you are married).
I used to express my concerns too in my early to mid 20's. In fact, around 23-25, I was downright depressed. It seemed like no one liked me and I played the broken record of "I will never meet anyone, I will never meet anyone".
So I got involved in a few dead-end, short and substance free relationships.
That taught me that, no, you cannot do things on your own terms. You really fail. Some of them caused me deep pain. I learned that lesson and since then, I've reassessed my priorities. Yes, I still want to meet someone but I am absolutely not worried about it. I certainly don't "look" for someone. Dating is absolutely not for me. I tried it, it was a total failure.
The reason I am Ok with what I have now is because I have faith that things will work out in the future - beyond my control. Besides, right now I am going through some (challenging) changes which wouldn't be compatible with a relationship anyway.
The reason for the subject of the post, I thought about this analogy, the chances of me meeting someone *and* having that relationship work out is so improbable that it is like picking a random key out of a huge pile, then going to a random lock and opening it - and then doing that 10 times in a row. The probability is undboutebdly nil, totally so. Yet do I worry? Not at all. I didn't make either the lock or the key. Worrying - or trying one key after another is an entirely futile activity. The key either works really well - by design, or doesn't work at all.
Anyway, I mainly want to address what msjones21 wrote, expressing her doubts, her fears -- which all of us share to one degree or another (even if you are married).
I used to express my concerns too in my early to mid 20's. In fact, around 23-25, I was downright depressed. It seemed like no one liked me and I played the broken record of "I will never meet anyone, I will never meet anyone".
So I got involved in a few dead-end, short and substance free relationships.
That taught me that, no, you cannot do things on your own terms. You really fail. Some of them caused me deep pain. I learned that lesson and since then, I've reassessed my priorities. Yes, I still want to meet someone but I am absolutely not worried about it. I certainly don't "look" for someone. Dating is absolutely not for me. I tried it, it was a total failure.
The reason I am Ok with what I have now is because I have faith that things will work out in the future - beyond my control. Besides, right now I am going through some (challenging) changes which wouldn't be compatible with a relationship anyway.
The reason for the subject of the post, I thought about this analogy, the chances of me meeting someone *and* having that relationship work out is so improbable that it is like picking a random key out of a huge pile, then going to a random lock and opening it - and then doing that 10 times in a row. The probability is undboutebdly nil, totally so. Yet do I worry? Not at all. I didn't make either the lock or the key. Worrying - or trying one key after another is an entirely futile activity. The key either works really well - by design, or doesn't work at all.
. I am getting better though, i still have the thoughts, but i now recognize them as useless and move on. I always find the wrong key when looking profusely for it cuz i thought it was imperative to get through the next door in life. Then, i realize im lost that i never needed that door, and i end up losing the key anyway 
. Sorry, but I really liked the analogy and found a way to apply it to myself, so i had to....thief 
