A life I thought I would never survive

[L1rider]

This is not going to be easy for me to post. I have a sort of fear of what you all will think of me. But the Lord has put this on my heart and I must say He is the Boss.



I am a one and a half-year-old Christian but the Lord has worked in my life for a long time before I was saved I just never knew it. I was 18 years old when I started working in the strip club industry. At 18 I thought it was the greatest of lifestyles, but I was sorely mistaken.

I lived a life full of drugs, sadness, and death- yes death. I saw things no one should ever see- friends taking their own lives, dancers OD-ing on drugs, suicide, even murder. I was a manager of one of the most popular clubs in Los Angeles. I was working for the devil himself and I didn’t even know it. I was blinded by the drugs, money and sex that ran rampant in the clubs. 16 years I lived this life, if you can call it living. I thought that I had everything I ever wanted, all the THINGS I could want, but what I always wanted but never thought it was possible to have was a loving Wife a chance to be a good husband and father. This dream could never come true for me, I thought. Who would want a man like me? It could never happen. When I was 30 years old I told my friends that if I was not married by the time I was 35 I would give up and accept my life as it was- lonely and violent.

Over the next 5 years thing happened. My bosses where indicted for murder and one of my best friends was the shooter in this 11-year-old murder. It was like something you see on court TV. Did I mention the story ended up on court TV? I was in a world of hurt, I trusted no one any more. I was truly alone and my world turned upside down. Needless to say I had a brake down and was on medication for depression and stress. But I still kept on working, now I was running 3 clubs in the LA area and as the stress mounted I thought there was no end in sight. Then one morning an angel walked into my club. I hired her on the spot, what I did not know was the man who brought her to my club was abusing her mentally and physically. He was an evil man-no if ands or buts- he was evil! Well, we talked (this angel and I) a lot over the next month. My 35-birthday was coming up and she came to the party that my friends threw for me. She was absolutely stunning. I was in love- head over heals in love. But, "Who would want a scumbag like me? No one.", I said to myself, no one.

So the night of my party I smoked a lot of pot and drank heavily and was really getting my mind in a twist over her. At some point I found the nerve to ask her to go outside and have a smoke. She said I don’t smoke, but I will go with you and- she did. This angel was spending time with me! Needless to say in my drunken state I was brave enough to kiss her; and then it happened -she kissed me back! I was shocked! She really kissed me back. I thought it was a dream, and it was, a dream come true. Well to make a long story endless, I married that angel and with her help she got me and her self out of that hellish business. I did not know at the time but she was a backslidden Christian. About 2 or so years later she started going to church again, she asked me to go but I said, "No thanks". Not me, not with my past. How could God could ever want me? Well, some time later the Passion of Christ came out, she wanted me to go so out of respect for her I went to the movie. I was fine- no problem -just a movie until our Lord said , “Father forgive them for they know not what they do”. What? What was that? He is praying for the people that did all this to him? Oh my God! Yes my God- at that point it is a bit fuzzy it felt like my heart was beating for the first time. Was this really happening?

Yes it was, and it did. Our Lord Jesus Christ kick-started my heart and the truth was shone to me. He loves me. So I accepted Christ as my savior and I began a journey that was both exciting and scary. Looking at my old life and asking for forgiveness was hard enough but I knew I had to change. Strangely enough it came so naturally I did not even have to think about it at first, but then the nightmares started and the enemy was on me hard. It made me think back to what my life was.

Then it dawned on me Jesus has been working in my life for so long, I just didn’t know it. If I were not in the clubs I would have never been there to meet my wife. You see the guy that had her in his grasp was for some reason afraid of me and when I told him she was with me he backed away. I helped her, and in turn she took me from the clubs and then to the Lord. He planed it this way. Christ was working in both our lives all along. Well my wife and I have been together for over 5 years now we love each other very much but mostly we Love the Lord together. I think what I am trying to say is your never too far gone for Jesus, He can work in your life; and for Him the end does justify the means.

I write this so people can know that it is never to late. Jesus loves us all no matter what we have done in the past, it is our eternal life that He is fighting for every day.



I would like to thank my wife for her love and the love we share together for our Lord

 

[Victory of the Cross]

My friend you are truely a wonderful person, many men would not have the will,strength or desire to leave such an Industry,to me you and your charming wife are two of the finest examples of Christianity i have yet to encounter on this planet

"Such Courage I have Yet to see in many men" ~Yitshak Shaboa~

Godbless you my Lifelong friends

 

[Scholar in training]

That was an inspiring story, and it was brave of you to talk about it here. I don't think less of you, as you expressed worry before you told your testimony. Rather, I think George Patton said it best: "Moral courage is the most valuable and usually the most absent characteristic in men."

 

[Latreia]

There is a song in "The Sound of Music," called "Climb Every Mountain"

Your story gives so much more meaning to that song for me. Just when I think I have known the worst and the best of this world, a man like you comes along to show me how much more there is to learn.

Your story can only mean so much because it was one that was almost impossible to write, let alone to have lived through. Admiration and awe is what I feel about you. Plus knowing the reasons that you shared it.

I know that many will turn away from it, they are simply not up to the challenge that you represent. Others will see clearly that God has His special purpose for you, has called you to that purpose, and the gallantry in you that answered that calling.
You and your precious wife have created a brand new shining world together, as you held her hand and stepped into the Light. Imagine, the Darkness that you have conquered.

Whatever comes, simply keep your faces toward the Light, always. God knows you are not alone, ever, in His sight, you will stand beside your brothers and sisters in Jesus name. Those who need you will look to you for their inspiration and hope, things for which you have become for those still inslaved in darkness.

Here is something kind of funny, but true. Suddenly, all words that are wise and good and true will make perfect sense to you, and you will understand more than Bible verses and prayers and blessings that come your way.

I quote Joseph Campbell, a great mind:

"Where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the center of our own existance....

Where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a God.....

Where we had thought to conquer another, we shall conquer ourselves.....

Where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world."

~ Joseph Campbell

 

[L1rider]

I would like to say thank you all for your support of my self but mostly for the support you have given to my wife BlondieLashes. We have seen allot of pain and suffering in our lives, but it can't compare to the Love that we have found in Jesus Christ. I posted my testimonial in the hopes that some one who has struggled in life and thought God would never love or accept them would read this and see that Christ just loves us because he does. Not because we want it nor need it, but because he just loves to love us no matter what. If no one posted in support of my posting here it would not make a difference to me. Just so long as they read it. You never know maybe some one will get some benefit from my life of pain and see that we all have the same chance to be loved by our Lord. It's funny I have told Blondie that you can see Gods way of loving in the eyes of a puppy. You feed them and they love you, you play with them and they love you but when you kick them and yell at them (not that I ever have or would mind you) they just love you. Christ loves us the same way.

We have kicked him and turned our backs on him, we put him on the cross and he paid the price for our sin. Now think of that he was put through hell for us and what did he do? He loves us! Like a puppy it is unconditional love.

Now I know you are saying how can you compare Gods love to a puppies love?

It is simple no matter what you do that puppy is going to come back for more, No matter what you do Jesus will come back for more in the hopes that this time you will feel his love for you. It is easy to look in puppies eyes and see love. It is just as easy to look to Christ and see his love if you just open your eyes and see the truth that is written all over the Bible.

One last note remember He loved us so much that he gave his only begotten son. Think about it. Christ when through all that pain but what really hurt was when he paid the real price, for a moment he was separated from the Father. That was the real price not the death of the body but separation from our Father, from Him.



God bless you all and never forget the Love of Christ is forever and unconditional

 

[Unique]

Praise God! He is such an incredible loving God.

 

[280305]

This is an amazing Testimony. This is a true testament to the power of our God and while I hope you understand that I can not relate to what you have been through, I trust in the Lord that you and your wife may walk long in the days of our Lord Jesus Christ. I too am a new Christian, and your story will shape another person's destiny one day. Let's pray. Maybe one day we will meet in heaven! I give you commendations for your bravery in posting your message.

 

[ce58]

That is an amazing testimony. God loves each and every one of us, whether we know it or not. God bless, ce58

 

[fieldlily]

Thank you so much. Your words take me back in memory to the time the Lord delivered me from a sinful atmosphere like you describe. My parents, who were alcoholics, managed a night club and later a tavern. But a friend took me to a meeting of Youth for Christ where I accepted Jesus. And Jesus took me by the hand and lead me from a life of darkness into the Light of the Love of God! That was over 50 years ago.

I think the Lord has given you a heart of compassion and will use you mightily. And such a blessing to be married to a committed Christian woman..truly a favor from above. I have appreciated both yours and her posts here on this forum.

These scriptures just came to mind and I think they will bless you both:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:

...We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. .. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. [2 Cor. 5:17-18,21] (NIV)

Bless you both,

birdfriend...

 

[symphonyb]

You've got alot to give others ,keep posting.wow