A Large Number of Single Women Are Leaving the Church. Why?

[Michie]

A few years ago, I attended the Women of the World festival in London. Arriving late, I hurried up to a panel called “Faith and Feminism,” which featured a panel of women from different faith backgrounds talking about how they merged their religious beliefs with their feminist convictions. Halfway through the event, something surprising happened. A thirty-something-year-old woman in the audience abruptly raised her hand. The chair of the panel gestured for the microphone to be passed to the audience member and there was an uncomfortable stirring while we all waited.

Then a clear voice rang out: “I’m so tired of fighting Christian church leaders to be treated equally but I don’t want to leave the church. So, what do I do?” She paused before reformulating her question: “How do I stay?”

That question stuck with me long after the festival ended. At the time, I was just beginning five years of in-depth research with single Christian women in the US and the UK and had no idea just how many of them were asking the very same question.

It turns out that in both countries, single Christian women are leaving churches at increasingly high rates. In the UK, one study showed that single women are the most likelygroup to leave Christianity. In the US, the numbers tell a similar story.

Of course, there is a distinction between leaving church and leaving Christianity, and these studies do not make the difference clear. Regardless, leaving – whether it be your congregation or your faith — is a difficult decision. Women stand to lose their friends, their sense of identity, their community and, in some cases, even their family. And yet, many are doing it anyway.

What or who is driving them out?

Continued below.

A Large Number of Single Women Are Leaving the Church. Why? - RELEVANT

A few years ago, I attended the Women of the World festival in London. Arriving late, I hurried up to a panel called "Faith and Feminism,” which featured

relevantmagazine.com

 

[Gnarwhal]

I hope a day comes very soon where people like the Gordons are given a major platform in the Church to teach the proper and orthodox view that feminism is the original sin and that feminism is incompatible with Catholicism.

If I were a priest I'd be inviting them to my parish every year to host a parish mission or seminar or conference to make sure my parishioners, especially the young ones that are embattled on college campuses, fully understood how grave the sin of feminism is.

 

[WarriorAngel]

The separation between genders caused from opposition to 'submit to one another' and 'I am in charge' and [St Paul said do not insist on your own way] viola - men and women are being poked and prodded to be 'better than', 'more important than' and 'I absolute refuse to honor you and give of myself in love' [as St Paul explained love] and when I say poked and prodded I am not referring to humans.

So it's a 'me me me era and men and women are being taught to hate the other.

Recipe for selfishness and decline in love.
A la feminism aka misandrist.
and chauvinism aka Mysogyny

 

[Sir Robbins]

men and women would fall when they are put face to face in competition rather than stand them side by side working together in the same direction. I also seem to think "modern" women, likely ones in their 20s just don't find general Christian men attractive and desirable. Men are left hanging and many who don't even go to church are left out in the dark by these insane standards. I remember reading a discussion where it was brought up that 10% of men are dating 80% of the women out there. If this is, in deed true, it's a sad reality and churches will suffer for this quite a bit. Christian women walking away from church and faith to find that many of those 10% men are no faith based and the women are willing to walk away to be with them.

 

[RileyG]

Many single women don't understand the beauty of Catholicism.

 

[Michie]

Many single women don't understand the beauty of Catholicism.

Absolutely. They see it as oppressive unless you can be one of the guys and not understand NFP.

 

[ZephBonkerer]

I would be careful with this. Are these women leaving the Christian Faith completely? Or are they merely distancing themselves from what is often known as "organized religion" as I have?

I myself have not had a church home since I was excommunicated for getting a so-called "unscriptural" divorce.

 

[Wolseley]

The separation between genders caused from opposition to 'submit to one another' and 'I am in charge' and [St Paul said do not insist on your own way] viola - men and women are being poked and prodded to be 'better than', 'more important than' and 'I absolute refuse to honor you and give of myself in love' [as St Paul explained love] and when I say poked and prodded I am not referring to humans.

So it's a 'me me me era and men and women are being taught to hate the other.

Recipe for selfishness and decline in love.
A la feminism aka misandrist.
and chauvinism aka Mysogyny

It's not just male vs. female. Modern culture is all about separation and conflict, about facing off with "The Other": Black against White, rich against poor, liberal against conservative, young against old, the examples are numerous and disturbing.

 

[Erose]

I would be careful with this. Are these women leaving the Christian Faith completely? Or are they merely distancing themselves from what is often known as "organized religion" as I have?

I myself have not had a church home since I was excommunicated for getting a so-called "unscriptural" divorce.

You don't get excommunicated for getting a divorce. You are not even excluded from the Sacraments. What will get you excluded from the Sacraments is getting re-married civilly without the first marriage being annulled, if it was invalid.

 

[Michie]

You don't get excommunicated for getting a divorce. You are not even excluded from the Sacraments. What will get you excluded from the Sacraments is getting re-married civilly without the first marriage being annulled, if it was invalid.

He’s not Catholic. He has posted about his divorce and excommunication from his previous Protestant Church.

 

[Sketcher]

It’s no secret that Christian churches exhort marriage as God’s design for humankind, and yet many women struggle to find a suitable spouse in the church. On the one hand, the gender ratio is not in their favor. In both countries women far outstrip men in terms of church attendance at an almost 2 to 1 ratio. Many women I interviewed argued that the ratio is far worse, even 4 to 1 in some churches. And most women want to marry Christian men, someone who shares their faith. This means that often by their mid to late thirties, women face the difficult choice: hold out for a Christian husband or date outside the church.

And yet, there are plenty of men in the church who are invisible to them.

In my church, there are multiple men who did eventually marry and have children, after women our age had decided to leave the area because they claimed there was no one to date in the area. I can accept being an outlier myself (still single), but that really doesn't explain some of those other guys.

 

[WarriorAngel]

It's not just male vs. female. Modern culture is all about separation and conflict, about facing off with "The Other": Black against White, rich against poor, liberal against conservative, young against old, the examples are numerous and disturbing.

Yes, even in sub groups. Christian sects, Muslims sects, Jewish sects [even in the time of Jesus the Sadducees vs Scribes etc
But feminism took root to mean anti-establishment and the Church is the good ole boys club [ridiculous] but the feminists have waged war with their purpose in the Church...

 

[VincentIII]

The article's intro starts with the question of "equality," which suggests it's about single women feeling excluded from positions in church governance. Unsurprisingly, it actually revolves more around single women not finding husbands in church. I'd say it's a safe assumption that for some people, going to church is one of the mate-landing strategies mentioned in the article. Some of them are leaving because that strategy isn't panning out. As for single women who are sincerely Christian, the men would express interest if they were interested. You can't expect the church's authority structure to make people be attracted to you.

I wish single people of both genders the best of luck in finding a mate. But I'm talking about luck on the market, not at the vending machine.

 

[FaithT]

Many single women don't understand the beauty of Catholicism.

i don’t know many single women who left the Church altogether but I know many single divorced women who left my parish for a different parish. One that’s a lot more accepting of them.

 

[ZephBonkerer]

He’s not Catholic. He has posted about his divorce and excommunication from his previous Protestant Church.

That is correct. It's much harder for me to step foot into any church building (of any denomination) given how severely the leadership of that Church violated my trust. That I have made some close friends outside any Church setting makes it an even tougher sell.

Edit: Don't get me wrong. A difference in opinion on a controversial topic like divorce and remarriage is one thing. But dishonesty and slander from Church leadership are inexcusable. I made my position on the matter known and I offered to leave the assembly if that position would be a problem for them. They denied that it would, only to change their position later. When I asked for an explanation, they were evasive.

 

[VincentIII]

That is correct. It's much harder for me to step foot into any church building (of any denomination) given how severely the leadership of that Church violated my trust. That I have made some close friends outside any Church setting makes it an even tougher sell.

Edit: Don't get me wrong. A difference in opinion on a controversial topic like divorce and remarriage is one thing. But dishonesty and slander from Church leadership are inexcusable. I made my position on the matter known and I offered to leave the assembly if that position would be a problem for them. They denied that it would, only to change their position later. When I asked for an explanation, they were evasive.

I read your thread about this in the divorce forum but couldn't respond because of my marital status. I was appalled by how your church leadership represented itself one way after being clearly asked for their position, then went the opposite way. Maybe it's how they manipulate divorced people out of their church. Regardless of what their reasoning was (or lapse thereof), their actions were shameful.

I hope you're doing well.

 

[RileyG]

i don’t know many single women who left the Church altogether but I know many single divorced women who left my parish for a different parish. One that’s a lot more accepting of them.

Define more accepting. As long as they remain celibate, it should be no issue. IMHO.

 

[seashale76]

Only invite the Gordons if you want to dramatically increase the exodus. The Gordon's and their Stepford Wife regressive foolishness are part of the problem for driving women away. They are not orthodox. They are radicalized extremists. Actually, probably not. They're likely just grifters. The Gordon's only know about the post WWII Mad Men era mental hygiene film propaganda of what they consider to be ideal. It's toxic and unChristian. That type of thinking is exactly why the 60s happened and people rebelled against it hard. It's basic cause and effect.

You know what I've seen? In the on-line Orthodox sphere anyway, you've got young men who come along bemoaning the very idea that there's a woman out there going to church somewhere without a head covering, people who seriously talk about how women aren't to take communion whilst menstruating, etc. Heck, women aren't even able to venerate icons or receive blessings in some places while menstruating. However, you won't see one complaint against these same menstruating women not being able to serve during coffee hour- because the rules magically don't apply then. Some of these guys have more in common with the Taliban than any apostles of Christ. Then they have the gall to wonder why the womenz don't want to be Christian. They are minding every woman's business out there but never their own business. We've got p&@n crazed and anything goes on one end and literal Taliban at the other end. Normal is gone. I don't recognize either end as being anywhere near healthy or Christian.

We live in a world where women in many places are not allowed an education, can't even go grocery shopping without being covered in a shroud and a male relative escort, don't have access to menstrual products (which effectively keeps them from school and work), are honor killed, who receive zero justice for sexual assaults, inadequate health care, and religion is used as a weapon to keep them subjugated (even Christianity).

It's no surprise there has been extremism at the liberal end of the spectrum. The answer is not extremism in the other direction.

Also, let's talk about what feminism was originally. It was never a sin or evil. The Suffragists wanted women to be considered legal persons under the law. It wasn't until 1973 that women were even allowed to serve on juries in most of the US. Without feminism women wouldn't be allowed to vote either, which only came in the last century.

As US Supreme Court Justice Hugo Black once said, "the old common-law fiction that the husband and wife are one...has worked out in reality to mean...the one is the husband." I suppose quite a few Christian guys who hate women want Coverture to be a thing again. Domestic abuse, no legal rights for women, et cetera. Red flag city.

I hope a day comes very soon where people like the Gordons are given a major platform in the Church to teach the proper and orthodox view that feminism is the original sin and that feminism is incompatible with Catholicism.

If I were a priest I'd be inviting them to my parish every year to host a parish mission or seminar or conference to make sure my parishioners, especially the young ones that are embattled on college campuses, fully understood how grave the sin of feminism is.

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

My father who passed away a few years back at age 87, would mention this very thing regarding younger woman. He would tell me for them it is whoopee time, an old saying meaning party time. They are more concerned with the things of the world . They are indoctrinated to abrogate their role as woman, wife and mother. They are taught they can casually abort their children without any repercussions . Yes this is not all woman but it has now become the majority.

 

[Gnarwhal]

My father who passed away a few years back at age 87, would mention this very thing regarding younger woman. He would tell me for them it is whoopee time, an old saying meaning party time. They are more concerned with the things of the world . They are indoctrinated to abrogate their role as woman, wife and mother. They are taught they can casually abort their children without any repercussions . Yes this is not all woman but it has now become the majority.

You're dad was an insightful man. It's endemic of everyone but the most serious Catholics nowadays. Selfishness abounds, it's all about sensual pleasures, self care, entertainment, feeding desire. It's a one-track mind to indulge oneself all day, every day. Both sexes, and the younger the generation the more dominant that lifestyle is. My step kids are entirely consumed by that. They couldn't give less of a crao about church and just go cause mom tells them to. As soon as they're 18 and they figure out they can opt out, they will. Mark my words.