A job that means something...

[Spotty]

Hey there everyone,

I've been really struggling with this lately - I test video games and have been doing it for over a year now. It's 30 miles away, monotonous, and perhaps every 11 year old's dream job, but I feel just like I'm wasting my time.

My wife makes over 2wice as much as I do and that's definitely a self-esteem knocker (though she did just graduate with a Masters in Tax) since I feel like I have some duty as the husband to be the primary breadwinner. I don't know, I just feel flat out pathetic. I want a job that means something - that matters!

I don't care about the money so long as it is enough to get us by.

Does anybody have any suggestions? I'm in LA and want to do something with my life. Help people, make a difference. Do something that feels fulfilling. Ultimately, I still want to direct movies and write screenplays, so I feel slightly conflicted as to what to do in the meantime. Oh well - I'll keep praying and taking people's advice.

G'night all!

-Spotty

 

[D'Ann]

Spotty,

I'll keep you in my prayers. This job/career thing can be a tough one trying to figure out, but with God... all things are possible.

 

[graysparrow]

May I have your job? [12 till I die is my motto]

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That was one of the reasons I decided to be a priest. What I am trying to say is that most probably God is calling you for something. It is time for some serious discerning! I know you can't be a priest but there is something great you can do about the Kingdom of God.

 

[D'Ann]

That was one of the reasons I decided to be a priest. What I am trying to say is that most probably God is calling you for something. It is time for some serious discerning! I know you can't be a priest but there is something great you can do about the Kingdom of God.

Amen and amen. A very true saying and thank you for reminding me of this.

 

[Spotty]

Yeah, I obviously can't be a priest, but think that one day I will want to be a deacon. But before that, we'll see what comes my way. And yes, you can have my job.

 

[Spotty]

Spotty,

I'll keep you in my prayers. This job/career thing can be a tough one trying to figure out, but with God... all things are possible.

Thanks, D'Ann. All prayers for Spotty appreciated!

 

[Fantine]

Your wife's salary and job security gives you a little bit more freedom than many people have.

You can, perhaps, start a business, knowing it will take a few years to grow (that's hard to do when you have no other source of income.)

You can get some more education in a field you enjoy.

Would she be willing to help you invest in yourself, either through starting a business or education, with the light at the end of the tunnel being a more successful, happier you?

I have known several stay-at-home Dads with very successful wives, and where there is mutual respect, it has really worked. In one case the husband supported the wife through medical school, and when she graduated, he gave up being a professor to become a professional writer (and SAHD.)

Good luck.

 

[Globalnomad]

Spotty,

First, stop worrying that your wife earns twice as much as you. You said it doesn't matter: but it does, Spotty, or you would not have brought it up straight away! This "primary breadwinner" thing has become something wrong and dangerous, a temptation to pride and materialism. "Primary breadwinner" means simply that the man is responsible for "bringing in the bacon" during the years when the wife stops or slows down her own breadwinning because of the kids. It should never mean watching each other's salary.

What I am saying is that you have two SEPARATE problems. Treat them separately, or one will mess up the way you think about the other.

1) Overcome the temptation of this " primary breadwinner" idea. It IS often a real evil temptation, sowing anger, unnecessary discord, sometimes abusive words, in a family!

2) Decide how to direct your career. If your wife has a well-paying job, make the most of it! (That is what we did. I was earning four times as much as my husband when we married... he was able to quit his no-prospect job and go back to university to get his post-graduate degree... Some years later, I did stop work because of the kids, and now we live happily on the comfortable salary that he earns! I want to go back to full-time work now, because the kids are now grown up, but not for the money - I just loved what I was doing and I was unhappy that I had to stop.) Pray, discern, get advice from professional career counsellors as well. They might give you ideas that you never had before.

If you want to write screenplays, I understand that the best way to go about it is just to sit down and start writing! Write, submit, get rejected, get feedback, write again, submit again, get rejected again.... Apparently, that is the way to learn.

To become a film director, I think you do need to go to college and do that specific course.

Whatever you do, you probably need to be prepared to work your b... off and lern to survive rejection, as one of MY helpful career advisors once (wisely) said to me. So, get on with it! Good luck!

 

[Spotty]

Yeah, I know. It really has become a pride issue. Also, I'm feeling like some of her peers at work kind of laugh when they hear what I do, which is obviously embarrasing even though I've only met them once, around a year ago before this job started.

I don't know what's healthy and what isn't.

As for going to college for film, I've already done that and have a BA in the area. As for writing, I'll probably do that after I'm done writing this message as I have a screenplay I've been working on for some time.

Thanks for your help and honesty. I have a lot of spiritual discernment to do here as I try and get myself to a position where I can feel like I have more respect for myself, given my job.

God Bless you guys!