Hi! Due to the fact that I am getting blown off here I have deside to go to another message board where as I can make other friends. I feel like I was to take my life cause of this. I just wanted a friend BUT everyone HATES ME!!!!!
ON friend that I have known for 4 months now is blowing me off. I did NOTHING TO HIM!!!!! I may come back when I am not feeling like I want to kill myself....or when I want to talk to Jesus BUT as for now I think that going to this other board is the best thing for me seeing that EVERYONE (especially that person i mentioned) WANTS ME DEAD. EVEN my roommate father wants me dead. </FONT></FONT>
You shouldn't feel like this, Dear Heart. This isn't just sensitivity, it's depression. Sensitive people are in general either sensitive because they're depressed or depressed because they're sensitive.
I used to always be sensitive and I still am in many ways. Something happened in the last two years that finally made me get angry instead of hurt.
My friend, Kelly, and I had a friend, 'K', who worked a the Local Navy Base and she managed to get us both jobs in a different department. Well after a few months Kelly met and started dating one of the Navy guys she met. She wasn't sure if he was really her type, but he convinced her to cut off her long distance relationship with a guy she had been datign for a year.
A few months pass and the Sailor's was honorably discharged for medical reasons. Well Kelly went to England over Valentines weekend to officially break up with her boyfriend because she felt bad about doing it on the phone. Well for the last few Months we had been playing D&D at 'K''s house, so I went over there because it that weas the night for Game. I walked like I normally did, because 'K' was a very open person with her friends.
What I saw was the Sailor and a friend of his, 'A', setting up a great big Valentines Party. They basicly pushed me out telling me they weren't having Game right now and I left. I assumed they were doing something for 'R', 'A''s girlfriend. I came back later because they never said Game wasn't going to happen. I walk in like usual and find not just 'R' & 'A' cuddled up on the couch, but also Kelly's Sailor cuddled up on the chair with 'K'!
I couldn't believe the both of them would be so sneaky and underhanded. I blew up at them both, I told them exactly what they could do with thier lying manipulative, underhanded cheating. Did I mention I was dragging around a blind date? He was very nice, but a bit scared I think.
Well that was the first time I decided to get mad instead of hurt. It just seemed more appropriate to the situation. Kelly eventually convinced me to come back to Game. She told me she "knew about it and didn't care" but I could tell she was really hurt. You see, Kelly is a lot more sesitive in the matters of the heart then I ever was.
Time went on and the Sailor and 'K' moved in with each other, they got thier own house, she stopped coming to church because he didn't like it. Because he was discharged with a knee injury he decided he didn't need to work. So even though we were all laid off about a year later she was the provider. He worked out the D&D plots, and went with a friend to his comic shop and bought all kinds of useless junk.
She eventually had to travel out of town with her boss for a few months and she basicly sent all of her money back to him so he could buy food. I won't tell you what he bought. A was living with him and all of his rent money also went to miniatures, comic books, games, DSL so he could play online.
I tell you the very week she was gone, when Kelly and I stepped in the door for Game we were suddenly treated as second rate citizens. We were to sit on the floor and wait for A and him to finish thier Halo game, before he would deign to tell us he was too tired to play Game. All the while 'A' was making cutting comments with the face of "teasing."
I finally stood up and told him that was it! That he wasn't my master and he could @!$*# Game, I even made a point of standing in front of the stupid Halo game. I told Kelly she could sit there crying benieth the covers or realize that we didn't need play these stupid games and walk out with me. She walked out with me.
And that is how I learned to stop being passive aggressive and to start standing up for myself. I learned that if I kept weeping about it I was going to get pushed around, but when I start to stand up for myself I didn't hear those hurtful comments anymore.
I returned all of my Game stuff to the Sailors house and never went there again. 'K' finally realized how much he was using her and left him a year later. Just barely before he really became abusive, thankfully. 'A' moved to Ohio, his comic shop friend decided to cut him off. For all I know hes still sitting at home with bootleg DSL trying to play the ultimate HAlo game.
