A happy thread

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

*W-a-i-t-i-n-g*

The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed. The daughter of the family was with them, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait.

The child was about six years old, snub nosed, freckled, buck toothed and bespectacled. She maintained a deep silence and the two ladies peered doubtfully at her. Finally, one of them muttered to the other, "Not very p-r-e-t-t-y, I fear," carefully spelling the key word.

Whereupon the child piped up, "But awful s-m-a-r-t."

 

[free2be]

Cute Trekki!

Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!" He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian!"

"Very well", said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

 

[edie19]

Thanks Free2be - that was darn good.

edie

 

[Time2BCounted]

Cute Trekki!

Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!" He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian!"

"Very well", said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

hillarious lol

 

[free2be]

House Visit

A pastor went out one Saturday to visit his church members. At one house, it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the preacher knocked several times. Finally the preacher took out his card, wrote out Revelations 3:20 and stuck it in the door.

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with me."- Revelations 3:20

The next day, the card turned up in the collection plate. Below the preachers message was written the following notation:

"I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself"- Genesis 3:10

 

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

House Visit

A pastor went out one Saturday to visit his church members. At one house, it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the preacher knocked several times. Finally the preacher took out his card, wrote out Revelations 3:20 and stuck it in the door.

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with me."- Revelations 3:20

The next day, the card turned up in the collection plate. Below the preachers message was written the following notation:

"I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself"- Genesis 3:10

If I'd have been drinking something while reading this one I'd have choked!

Very funny...

 

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

*Muffin Moving*

After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had backed the truck up to our garage door so that we could start loading all of the boxes. Just then one of our neighbors came walking across the lawn carrying a plate full of muffins.

"Isn't that thoughtful," my husband said to me. "They must have realized that we packed our kitchen stuff."

The neighbor stuck out his hand and boomed, "Welcome to the neighborhood!"

 

[3girls2dogs]

Cute Trekki!

Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!" He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian!"

"Very well", said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

That one is funny!!!!!

They are all funny, but that one made coffee go up my nose

 

[Time2BCounted]

Gotta love when it comes back out eh? lol

 

[Gregged]

Cute Trekki!

Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!" He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian!"

"Very well", said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

This joke was funny for me the first time I heard it a few years ago... Unfortunately, it is also one of my friend's favourite jokes - in fact, possibly the only joke he knows!!! - and so I have heard it many many times. After about the 50th time (and because he forgets he's told me), it loses a little of it's funniness

 

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

This joke was funny for me the first time I heard it a few years ago... Unfortunately, it is also one of my friend's favourite jokes - in fact, possibly the only joke he knows!!! - and so I have heard it many many times. After about the 50th time (and because he forgets he's told me), it loses a little of it's funniness

That's true about any joke.

 

[Gregged]

 

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

Good one!

 

[Gregged]

That's true about any joke.

Yeah... By the way, I don't like any of your jokes ~~~~****Lady Trekki ********~~~~~~~~~~~~









I do really

 

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

Yeah... By the way, I don't like any of your jokes ~~~~****Lady Trekki ********~~~~~~~~~~~~









I do really

 

[Gregged]

Something to maybe cheer y'up?

 

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

Something to maybe cheer y'up?

 

[Nadiine]

ahhh, some HAPPY threads!!! yeahhhhh

Man, it was getting gloomy around here. I had to get into vicious debates just to uplift my spirits.
LOL

 

[edie19]

House Visit

A pastor went out one Saturday to visit his church members. At one house, it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the preacher knocked several times. Finally the preacher took out his card, wrote out Revelations 3:20 and stuck it in the door.

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with me."- Revelations 3:20

The next day, the card turned up in the collection plate. Below the preachers message was written the following notation:

"I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself"- Genesis 3:10

I'm thinking I should send this one to my pastor.

Too funny

 

[edie19]

*Muffin Moving*

After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had backed the truck up to our garage door so that we could start loading all of the boxes. Just then one of our neighbors came walking across the lawn carrying a plate full of muffins.

"Isn't that thoughtful," my husband said to me. "They must have realized that we packed our kitchen stuff."

The neighbor stuck out his hand and boomed, "Welcome to the neighborhood!"

I love it