A Friend.

[Wonki]

So yesterday I visited some friends at college. I tried to contact this one friend I've known for 6 years. I ended up leaving the campus without seeing him. Also, some people talk about him and that he smokes weed a lot now. So now I go home and I post on his facebook wall "I hear you're a pothead. cool." it was just a joke. Then he replied saying "why would you post that on my wall." and he removed he as a friend.

Did I do something wrong or is it ultimately his fault? Should I offer forgiveness?

 

[Avniel]

Yeah you did I smoked weed from the ages of 12 up until my freshmen year(it's illegal that's the only reason I feel it's a sin my grandma makes weed tea for her athrietist(or howevery you spell it). But to put personal private information reguarding illegal activity for mentors, professor and possible colleagues is a bit out of order.

In a way it is very rude to put someone out there like that. I feel as though it was get back for him blowing you off when you visited.

We as Christians are not supposed to be offensive and rude but sensative and loving.

 

[heron]

But to put personal private information reguarding illegal activity for mentors, professor and possible colleagues is a bit out of order.

It is not just rude, it is defamation of character.
It became internationally public knowledge the second you put it out there.

Have you noticed the way the bots collect information these days? Within minutes, he will begin to get visible links on paraphernalia, overseas purchasing opportunities, and arrested felons. His personal information is now anchored into the data collection category.

Seeing that drug possession is illegal, you just accused him of a crime in public view. Whether that puts him on a watch list, upsets his parents, brings in the FBI, or keeps him out of jobs, it is a statement that can't be retracted.

I know you were just trying to be funny. Or get him to connect with you. But we really need to watch our steps these days, where everything goes viral.

 

[CFDavid]

So yesterday I visited some friends at college. I tried to contact this one friend I've known for 6 years. I ended up leaving the campus without seeing him. Also, some people talk about him and that he smokes weed a lot now. So now I go home and I post on his facebook wall "I hear you're a pothead. cool." it was just a joke. Then he replied saying "why the f*** would you post that on my wall." and he removed he as a friend.

Did I do something wrong or is it ultimately his fault? Should I offer forgiveness?

I know I'm a newbie on these boards, but I really feel like this deserves a
rebuke. I get the feeling the Spirit has probably already convicted you about it and you're hoping for some rationalization, but anyway --

The way you describe this is that you visited campus and were unable to meet up with your friend. (Did you not make plans with him before visiting? You obviously knew how to contact him via Facebook.)

So you didn't meet up and wound up gossiping or listening to gossip about him. You took this gossip and, without discussing it with your friend of six years, posted it in a public way which you probably knew could have been hurtful, perhaps because you were hurt yourself.

Your friend called you on it... and you ask if you should forgive him because you posted gossip in possible retaliation for him not being available with possibly no advance notice. -- and that this whole dustup was "ultimately his fault"?

Seriously?

Now, I realize I've made some assumptions here and this post could well be peppered with asterisks, but this is what I gather from what you've written.

What guidance have you gotten when you've prayed about this?

 

[Wonki]

wait I didn't mean should i offer forgiveness. i mean should I ask him to forgive me. sorry im only human i make mistakes. and "ultimately his fault" because he shouldn't of done it in the first place.

 

[CFDavid]

Again: Shouldn't have done what? Smoke pot? All you have to go on is gossip.

Plus, even if he does smoke pot, that doesn't excuse posting something like that in public. Everyone around you can be a villain and you can still be okay; though it's very human to note how other people's sins draw us into sin, it's still a rationalization, however cathartic.

 

[Mr Sinclair]

"ultimately his fault" because he shouldn't of done it in the first place.

Thats the thinking mistake u made right there.
Even he sinned, u shouldnt be offending him.
And calling him a pothead is
What important is, is to not to be to curious about other people lifestyles.
And if u care, and he is your brother, u should try to help him to stay of drugs.
Offending people doesnt help him to quit drugs, he will just get angry like in this case. And u will be sinning yourself too.
U should ask forgivennis to our lord.
And say sorry to your friend.
And try to help him to stay off the drugs, the jesus way. Carring and honest friendley

 

[Forealzchola]

you put his business on the street - now everyone knows his business..that was wrong...apologize..he might not still want to befriend you but apologize

 

[wayfaring man]

Wonki ,

Yes , the consensus is that you committed a faux pas by posting publicly what you had not substantiated nor discussed privately with your friend .

Each of us likely has something that could be publicized about us in a way which would be hurtful to us .

Someone getting caught up in a sin , or an error , is not supposed to be an occasion to forsake the Golden Rule , and do to them , how we wouldn't want them to do to us , if we were in their shoes .

So , yea , seek his forgiveness , and keep this as a lesson learned ... next time if you feel the need approach someone who appears to be erring , do it with discretion and a measure of compassion .

For when we clearly speak the truth in love , it makes it easier for the person needing reproof to accept and be benefited by our admonishment ; and if they still manage to get angry and reject us and what we have to say - then we have at least done what we could , in the way that we should , which allows us to yet abide with a good conscience regarding our own role of interrelating with another / others .

wm

 

[Wonki]

thanks for the advice everyone. please add more if any of you can. I'm gonna shoot him a text tomorrow afternoon.

 

[Sierra Lou]

You should ask for his forgiveness if you want to be forgiven - of course. He's a human, after all, and everybody makes mistakes. However, I think that you should also think very carefully about what you did; this wasn't playful banter face-to-face, but this was defamation on the Internet, where anybody could see it. I don't know what the law is like in South Korea, but in some countries, defamation cases are brought before courts and people receive large monetary sums as compansation - just an indicator of how bad defamation is!

 

[CFDavid]

It's heartening to see that you took these comments so well. You've got at least one prayer from this guy.

 

[FallenPaladin]

Everybody checks facebook from employers to prospective girlfriends to mom & dad & grandma & grandpa. Try not to cause people grief when you post things there.

 

[CuddlyBear]

I'd have removed you too. You don't know if it is true or not but people will wonder when they read that. Yes, an apology is in order but I wouldn't do it by text. In person would be better. Just learn from this and don't do it again

 

[E.C.]

I'd have removed you too. You don't know if it is true or not but people will wonder when they read that. Yes, an apology is in order but I wouldn't do it by text. In person would be better. Just learn from this and don't do it again

Worth repeating.

 

[Wonki]

Forgiven.