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A Few Questions

PreachersWife2004

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Preacherswife, I am not trying to be difficult. I am trying to be considerate of other people. That is why I will not bring my daughter into a service and why a requirement is a nursery.

As I pointed out, I had three kids under the age of 3. They were unruly.

I still brought them. And if someone complained, that was THEIR problem, not mine.

Basically, you can't let the feelings of others affect the way your family worships. Sure, you can try to accommodate, but if accommodating means your family is split up or that your daughter doesn't get to enjoy the service, that's a problem.

This is a great article about bringing little kids to the service.

Dear Parents With Young Children in Church

When you relegate a child to the nursery, you're saying "sorry, you're not good enough to worship with everyone else".
 
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Boidae

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Sure, you can try to accommodate, but if accommodating means your family is split up or that your daughter doesn't get to enjoy the service, that's a problem."

My daughter doesn't get to enjoy the service? You have got to be kidding me. She will not enjoy the service at 2 years old, her only thoughts are I am bored and I want to play. She doesn't care that there is a church service going on.

When you relegate a child to the nursery, you're saying "sorry, you're not good enough to worship with everyone else".

Again, opinion and nothing more.
 
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Boidae

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At this point I think this thread is no longer useful. My questions were answered and that is what I was looking for.

We are going to do what we feel is best for our family, no matter what others think or believe we should be doing. Maybe we will end up Lutheran, maybe not. It could be I end up as pastor of my own church down the road, only God knows.
 
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LilLamb219

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Your opinion and one that we do not share. We have too much respect for other people in the service to keep our child in there while she screams and cries.

As I said, I have found another Lutheran church in our town that has a nursery and chances for fellowship outside of the church. I will probably check them out this weekend if I do not go to the one that my wife went to.

Hopefully the nursery has a speaker so you can still hear the service if you choose to stay in the room with her :thumbsup:
 
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PreachersWife2004

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My daughter doesn't get to enjoy the service? You have got to be kidding me. She will not enjoy the service at 2 years old, her only thoughts are I am bored and I want to play. She doesn't care that there is a church service going on.

and that's YOUR opinion. My boys were trying to recite portions of the liturgy at two years old.

Again, opinion and nothing more.

Does someone stating an opinion automatically negate the statement? You are, essentially, saying your daughter is not good enough.

Did you read the article?
 
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Daniel Stinson

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Preacherswife, I am not trying to be difficult. I am trying to be considerate of other people. That is why I will not bring my daughter into a service and why a requirement is a nursery.
Just a heads-up, nursing mothers will feed their kids before the sermon starts, which enables the infants to sleep, while parents get to sit-in for the sermon.

Go ahead into the sanctuary, both adult and children bulletins should be handed out by the ushers. The main aisle is closed in some congregations, in ours, we use the side doors only once service begins, the main aisle doesn't open again until worship service is completed.

The order of worship begins, followed by an opening hymn, preceded by public/corporate confession. Worship service will then move straight into the Word of God: Collect of the Day, Epistle, a spoken Gradual or chanted Psalm, Gospel, and then most LCMS congregations will have a Childrens' Message at the foot of the altar. All toddlers through early grade schoolers will approach the communion rail area where the pastor will do 5-10 minute summary of the sermon at their level of understanding.

For us men, it's appropriate to take children to the nursery only after our kid(s)' Children's Message is completed. This gives nursing mothers enough time to tend to their infants before the noisier toddlers gradually begin coming into the nursery.

If for some reason, your child needs to be in the nursery earlier than the Children's Message, it's more appropriate for your wife or mother-in-law to take the child into the nursery. When I usher for our congregation, I always do a courtesy knock before entering the nursery, when doing a head count or preparing nursery attendants for participation in Holy Communion. The Children's Message is very early in the worship service, so you shouldn't have any problem making it that far along, and you can just follow other parents to the nursery after the Children's Message is complete.

Lutherans have a very high participation rate at the Lord's Supper, so it's a common courtesy for regular members to relieve the nursery attendants/volunteers of their nursery duties just long enough for them to be communed, and then they'll return. I only say this, because as a guest at a LCMS congregation, I don't want you to think the nursery attendant abandoned your child and left them with an outright stranger. Most parents sit in the back of the congregation so that they can get in and out of the sanctuary without disturbing others.

Sunday School, Confirmation, and Adult Bible Study all take place at the same time. The Bible Study hour is typically between the early and late Church services. I advice attending a Bible Study class that's lead by the pastor and it helps toddlers to be in a structured environment before attending worship service, it also burns off some of that energy as well. Children's Bible Study always overlaps the 3-year lectionary and pastor's sermon. The younger the child, the more arts and crafts will be introduced into the lesson plan.

At the end of the day, parents know their children best, so use the above template in whatever manner suits your family's needs best. As time progresses, your child will grow into an appreciation for being with family during worship service. Don't be shy about proactively asking ushers what's the best method of exiting the sanctuary in the event your child becomes unsettled, as an usher myself, it's much easier to answer that before worship service begins.

Pentecostals aren't so used to the structured environment and it can come across a little strong on doctrine. The LCMS hymnal has subscripted Bible verses printed next to each liturgical phrase or statement, indicating that you're quoting directly from Scripture. The hymns themselves will also have subscripts at the bottom of each page indicating which Scriptures each song is paraphrasing from. Any RED lines in the page or RED comments in the hymnal are instructional based on the Christian liturgical season. Treat the RED markings as OR statements meaning you'll recite from only left or right side of the RED marking. Don't be afraid to ask a neighbor where to go in the hymnal, being a former Roman-Catholic, you'll catch on rather quickly. I've met some ELCA visitors who were completely lost in trying to figure out the Lutheran liturgy, which indicates just how far they've fallen from Lutheranism.

God Bless, and I pray you enjoy your experience.
 
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Boidae

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Just a heads-up, nursing mothers will feed their kids before the sermon starts, which enables the infants to sleep, while parents get to sit-in for the sermon.

Go ahead into the sanctuary, both adult and children bulletins should be handed out by the ushers. The main aisle is closed in some congregations, in ours, we use the side doors only once service begins, the main aisle doesn't open again until worship service is completed.

The order of worship begins, followed by an opening hymn, preceded by public/corporate confession. Worship service will then move straight into the Word of God: Collect of the Day, Epistle, a spoken Gradual or chanted Psalm, Gospel, and then most LCMS congregations will have a Childrens' Message at the foot of the altar. All toddlers through early grade schoolers will approach the communion rail area where the pastor will do 5-10 minute summary of the sermon at their level of understanding.

For us men, it's appropriate to take children to the nursery only after our kid(s)' Children's Message is completed. This gives nursing mothers enough time to tend to their infants before the noisier toddlers gradually begin coming into the nursery.

If for some reason, your child needs to be in the nursery earlier than the Children's Message, it's more appropriate for your wife or mother-in-law to take the child into the nursery. When I usher for our congregation, I always do a courtesy knock before entering the nursery, when doing a head count or preparing nursery attendants for participation in Holy Communion. The Children's Message is very early in the worship service, so you shouldn't have any problem making it that far along, and you can just follow other parents to the nursery after the Children's Message is complete.

Lutherans have a very high participation rate at the Lord's Supper, so it's a common courtesy for regular members to relieve the nursery attendants/volunteers of their nursery duties just long enough for them to be communed, and then they'll return. I only say this, because as a guest at a LCMS congregation, I don't want you to think the nursery attendant abandoned your child and left them with an outright stranger. Most parents sit in the back of the congregation so that they can get in and out of the sanctuary without disturbing others.

Sunday School, Confirmation, and Adult Bible Study all take place at the same time. The Bible Study hour is typically between the early and late Church services. I advice attending a Bible Study class that's lead by the pastor and it helps toddlers to be in a structured environment before attending worship service, it also burns off some of that energy as well. Children's Bible Study always overlaps the 3-year lectionary and pastor's sermon. The younger the child, the more arts and crafts will be introduced into the lesson plan.

At the end of the day, parents know their children best, so use the above template in whatever manner suits your family's needs best. As time progresses, your child will grow into an appreciation for being with family during worship service. Don't be shy about proactively asking ushers what's the best method of exiting the sanctuary in the event your child becomes unsettled, as an usher myself, it's much easier to answer that before worship service begins.

Pentecostals aren't so used to the structured environment and it can come across a little strong on doctrine. The LCMS hymnal has subscripted Bible verses printed next to each liturgical phrase or statement, indicating that you're quoting directly from Scripture. The hymns themselves will also have subscripts at the bottom of each page indicating which Scriptures each song is paraphrasing from. Any RED lines in the page or RED comments in the hymnal are instructional based on the Christian liturgical season. Treat the RED markings as OR statements meaning you'll recite from only left or right side of the RED marking. Don't be afraid to ask a neighbor where to go in the hymnal, being a former Roman-Catholic, you'll catch on rather quickly. I've met some ELCA visitors who were completely lost in trying to figure out the Lutheran liturgy, which indicates just how far they've fallen from Lutheranism.

God Bless, and I pray you enjoy your experience.

Thank you very much for the above layout of a service and estimated times during the service when we can bring our daughter into the nursery. It is much appreciated. I will heed your advice.
 
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Tangible

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We have seven children, and they're quite often a distraction to us and sometimes to those around us during services. When we offer a word of apology, those around us have always said that they didn't really mind.

Having grown up Baptist and having visited many kinds of churches, I can say unequivocally that whether you have your children with you in church or confine them to a nursery is always a matter of theology rather than consideration for others.

If you believe that God is unable or unwilling to work faith in little ones until they are old enough to comprehend, then it is quite easy to see why it would be much more convenient to pack them off to a room out of earshot where they can be kept busy coloring pictures of happy bunnies and watching videos of Veggie Tales.

We prefer that our children be given every opportunity afforded them to hear God's saving Gospel and to learn from an early age the sounds and rhythm of the Liturgy.

As Matt 19:14 explicitly says -- but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
 
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Lupinus

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Our church has a nursery/cry room right behind the sanctuary with a large window and speaker. Previously parents could take their children there if they got unruly and loud and not miss any of the service, it just made a crying screaming child not be in the middle of the sanctuary.

Now we have more of a childrens nursery/program going in the same room with some of the youth and a parent volunteering to run it, they do bible studies and stories and such. They can still hear the service and sermon and it keeps the kids engaged. They come in for the childrens message and usually stay to accompany their parents for communion.

We have kids will sit through service fine. We have kids who if their parents tried keeping them through an entire service would mean no one would hear a single thing after the first twenty minutes or so. And we have some that fit somewhere inbetween. All depends on the child. Children certainly have a place in church, it's also considerate of others to take them out of the sanctuary to settle them down after they reach a certain decibel level.
 
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Boidae

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Our church has a nursery/cry room right behind the sanctuary with a large window and speaker. Previously parents could take their children there if they got unruly and loud and not miss any of the service, it just made a crying screaming child not be in the middle of the sanctuary.

Now we have more of a childrens nursery/program going in the same room with some of the youth and a parent volunteering to run it, they do bible studies and stories and such. They can still hear the service and sermon and it keeps the kids engaged. They come in for the childrens message and usually stay to accompany their parents for communion.

We have kids will sit through service fine. We have kids who if their parents tried keeping them through an entire service would mean no one would hear a single thing after the first twenty minutes or so. And we have some that fit somewhere inbetween. All depends on the child. Children certainly have a place in church, it's also considerate of others to take them out of the sanctuary to settle them down after they reach a certain decibel level.

Which is my point. I know my child better than anyone in these forums. I know what she will tolerate and what she won't. I know how long my child will sit still and be quiet for. I was raised to be considerate of those around me. If my child is going to do nothing but cry and scream, I am going to be considerate and take my child out of the service. It's even better if there is a nursery for her to go to.

We have left restaurants before we were done eating because of her getting bored since since she is unable to get out of the high chair, she will cry and carry on.

I just know that there isn't much in the way of settling her down. She will cry and carry on. We can leave for a few minutes till she settles down, but once we return she will start back up again. She is not a child that sits still for very long. She is an active and busy child. She is always on the go, unless she is asleep. I am certainly not saying that my child is not good enough the way that has been put to me by another poster. My child is not any of that person's three children.

As she gets older and is able to sit for longer stretches of time, we will bring her into the sanctuary longer and longer.
 
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