A Dialogue

[iambren]

Man: guilt,guilt,depression,conviction

Man: seeks help,he wants to change away from shame

Man: finally confesses to his girlfriend,he's addicted to porn

Woman: hiding her hurt,she says she'll pray for him

Woman: loses some respect,it's hard to stay with him



Question: Can anyone think of this process where the genders are reversed?
Maybe a different sin or situation?

 

[dayhiker]

Woman: guilt,guilt,depression,conviction

Woman: seeks help,he wants to change away from shame

Woman: finally confesses to his girlfriend,he's addicted to romance novels

Man: hiding his hurt, he says he'll pray for her

Man: loses some respect,it's hard to stay with her


That's not a personal problem for me ... but its the parallel as far as I can see.

 

[quietpraiyze]

The two I can think of are prostitution and abortion.

I've worked with and have known women in the sex industry. It's a major stigma IMO. Concerning abortion in some circles a woman is considered a murderer. Some may say they forgive but there's like a residual effect I guess.

Maybe one day we can have a dialogue about porn because I have conflict about it. On one hand I feel this way and on the other I feel that way...

*I just wanted to add that I do think women are thrown under the bus for not being virgins and having sex outside of marriage...

 

[blackribbon]

any addiction...

= some loss of respect

 

[Messy]

Man: guilt,guilt,depression,conviction

Man: seeks help,he wants to change away from shame

Man: finally confesses to his girlfriend,he's addicted to porn

Woman: hiding her hurt,she says she'll pray for him

Woman: loses some respect,it's hard to stay with him



Question: Can anyone think of this process where the genders are reversed?
Maybe a different sin or situation?

Woman addicted to drinking or drugs or any other thing a man might consider a big sin he wouldn't ever do himself.

 

[iambren]

Thanks for the remarks. I've been reading the bio of Jerry Lee Lewis(cousin of Jimmy Swaggert). Well,it reminded me of the sins of Swaggert,Baker, AND lately the resignation of our church pastor who had a 2-year affair.

Talking with my teenage sons I expressed to them to be careful if they get in high places because it seems men are weak over sex when they get there. I just don't know WHY sex is such of an Achilles heal for men. Why did God make us that way??? And where are women weak at??

 

[dayhiker]

God clear created us with a pretty powerful sex drive. The only way I know to turn it down is to cut ones calorie intake to about 700 calories per day which is the start of starvation. Some in church history like Jerome actually taught that was very pleasing to God.

Men in power ... If one has much power I don't think they have many friends and they get lonely for intimacy. So a sexual opportunity comes along and they take it because of the natural hunger God put in us builds till its very hard to say no to.

Thanks how I see it any ways. Most of these things really don't bother me that much as long as they aren't done in a way that is designed to hurt people.

 

[Messy]

And where are women weak at??

As if women don't have those problems, lol, then all the guys with affairs were homosexuals. And the porn, who started? The guy watching or the hooker playing?
My ex always said: men have problems with lust, women with talking, gossip etc.
I dunno.
I always had an anger problem. I had problems with lust too, but that was much easier solved.
I thought the anger was because of hormones, but it was because of demons. Since I got so angry that I kicked the anger out, life is great.

 

[quietpraiyze]

I just don't know WHY sex is such of an Achilles heal for men. Why did God make us that way??? And where are women weak at??

[FONT=Georgia, serif]Really?!! As a man you don't know why? Hmmm...I have my thoughts. My best guess is whatever it is for a man, it's probably that for a woman as well. It may look different in form and vary by person but it's still the same “stuff”. I do think it comforts some men to believe that women aren't like them but they couldn't be further from the truth. I think it's all a matter of degrees. [/FONT]​

 

[dayhiker]

The more I think about intimacy and sexuality the more I think God created us to have a lot of intimacy in our life. After all God was three persons who existed by themselves for an eternity before they created the the universe and the creatures in it. They had a great relationship for that long with just the 3 of them. That seems like a very intimate experience to me. Yet so much of life separates us from others. The people we do get close to we find much of our relationship is pretty superficial, talking about the weather etc. Many of us don't really know how to be intimate with each other. If we were those around us would be uncomfortable with it quite often.
So a lust, desire to get close to other human beings develops and sometimes draws us into things that aren't healthy, bad lust. Sometimes it draws us into healthy lusts, desires and we don't know how to handle them or our family and friends around us say that are wrong and we should separate from that person. So we feel unsatisfied or worse guilty, some even teach us to feel guilty.

That's how I see it these days.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

I don't think male or female are different.. it's the person.

Women have problems with lust, porn, affairs just the same way a man does.

It comes down to who you are as a person.

As quietpraiyze said people have a problem with women being not virgins etc

Why is it women aren't seen as sexual in that sense as a man ?

And i know men to be the biggest gossips ever, gosh my ex partner work mates seriously you think a soap drama was going on lol

 

[iambren]

Messy,what do YOU think is the #1 sin that women struggle with?


And I believe men/women are definitely different. I've been listening to some Yale professors tackle this one and it's sooo interesting.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCNgknc7Qv8

 

[dayhiker]

iambren .. that was an interesting talk to listen to. Thanks for posting it.

 

[Messy]

Messy,what do YOU think is the #1 sin that women struggle with?

I had no idea, so I googled it.
Big news: women struggle with lust.

 

[Annessa3]

Iambren-
my answer for #1 sin that I struggle to control? Control. It is very difficult for me to relinquish. (control of myself foremost, but also control of situations where I really believe I know best)
I give it to God over and over.... but I fight with myself over taking leeetle pieces back. Lack of trust? Not allowing inertia? dunno

 

[miss-a]

I always wonder how much of men's weakness in the area of sex is natural and how much is learned. Men are taught that they are weak in this area, even by well meaning pastors. Perhaps we should be teaching them that the temptations are there but they have not been given weakness by God, but rather "power, love and self control."

As for women, the sin they/we give into most, perhaps it's giving up on ourselves because men don't respond to us the way we want them to. Some women compensate with food, others with gossip, others with shopping, and so on.

But in the end aren't all the sins really the same thing, looking at the world and its offerings as more important than intimacy with the Lord?

 

[Annessa3]

I can only speak for myself. I choose not to generlaize for the gender I am

 

[wwjosh19]

Thanks for the remarks. I've been reading the bio of Jerry Lee Lewis(cousin of Jimmy Swaggert). Well,it reminded me of the sins of Swaggert,Baker, AND lately the resignation of our church pastor who had a 2-year affair.

Talking with my teenage sons I expressed to them to be careful if they get in high places because it seems men are weak over sex when they get there. I just don't know WHY sex is such of an Achilles heal for men. Why did God make us that way??? And where are women weak at??

Obviously these great men of God have not memorized Proverbs 5. And all politicians can save themselves a lot of grief if they also read this wonderful chapter on the consequence of lust. God wants us to enjoy intimacy as in 5:19, legit intimacy that is. As far back as I remember as pre-teen, I was and continue to be extremely interested in intimacy. That is why being single is just so challenging. But God saving grace, sadly for men, is as we age, the drive goes down.

 

[exitstageright]

Thanks for the remarks. I've been reading the bio of Jerry Lee Lewis(cousin of Jimmy Swaggert). Well,it reminded me of the sins of Swaggert,Baker, AND lately the resignation of our church pastor who had a 2-year affair.

Talking with my teenage sons I expressed to them to be careful if they get in high places because it seems men are weak over sex when they get there. I just don't know WHY sex is such of an Achilles heal for men. Why did God make us that way??? And where are women weak at??

I heard a therapist say,"Women have a weakness for.....food. After hearing that,I did work at a Doctor's Office,in which I was the only male employee.If the ladies were not complaining about their boyfriends or husbands,they were talking about their diets and food, food, food, food. So,when A shy guy asks a woman out to dinner,he should ask her,"What is your favorite food? "
For example,if she answers,"Chinese food". The all you have to do is say,"Would you like to have dinner with me at "Fung Lum's?"
She would say,"Yes!" That strategy has worked for me about 90% of the time.

 

[exitstageright]

I don't think male or female are different.. it's the person.

Women have problems with lust, porn, affairs just the same way a man does.

It comes down to who you are as a person.

As quietpraiyze said people have a problem with women being not virgins etc

Why is it women aren't seen as sexual in that sense as a man ?

And i know men to be the biggest gossips ever, gosh my ex partner work mates seriously you think a soap drama was going on lol

Well,I grew up in San Francisco,Ca. In the Fillmore District,one can see women standing on street corners,while men would drive up and pick up these "Ladies of the Evening." I have never,never,never,in any big City that I have lived in,seen men standing on a street corner being picked up by women.
Testosterone is the hormone that is responsible for our sex drives.Different people have different levels. Now, generally,the average male has about ten times more testosterone that the averagefemale has.
So women,yes you do have your lusts and your desires. So just imagine those desires being ten times stronger than the desires that you have now. Then,and only then,would you have any idea what we men have to go through.
Yes,I am a Biology Major with a B.S. degree in Clinical (Medical) Science from San Francisco State University.

Why did God gave us men too much testosterone? And at the same time, HE did not give us the ability to lower our levels, such as we can exercise to get rid of unwanted fat.