A bit confused

[ana86]

Hi all,

I need some advices.

I dated a guy for three years back in high school and I had the feeling that he was the one for me. He believes in God but he is not passionate about Him as I am, he barely goes to church or read his bible. So I finally put an end to this relationship.

After eight years, I still have the feeling that He is the one for me and he is the same for him. During eight years, I have dated two other guys, Christian guys in my church that are so in love with Jesus as I am. But each time, I was unable to forget my first love. l could stop myself from thinking about him but not from dreaming about him. And each time, I failed that I was closed of getting engaged, I freak out and left the relationship because I knew in my heart that there is only one guy I want to marry, the guy from my high school.

A month ago, we started talking again and he feels the same way about me but I have broken his heart and he is not sure whether he can trust me again. I really wish that we will get back together.
And not to make me feel better, people at my church are really angry at me because I broke the hearts of two guys in the church and they really think that I have a serious problem with commitment and are condemning me for wanting to be with a less 'spiritual' guy.

So what do you think of all this? Do you think I'm also crazy?

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Yes your crazy. JUST KIDDING!

It could be any number of things. Some people have hard time letting go the first real relationship they had. Others have commitment issues. And then of course there is the option of we think God wants us with someone and its really us telling ourselves that, not God. I'd spend alot of time praying about this and most importantly I'd fast for answers. I never had done it before until I met my soon to be wife. I truly did get answers after fasting.

Trust can take awhile to build up. But thats why we have to forgive and move on. If you pray/fast and find he is the one for you then he needs to forgive. As for being less spiritual, to some that matters, to others it doesn't. Just because someone is super spiritual and loves God doesn't mean anything. Maybe 10 years from now they will be in a bad accident and hate God and stop being a christian. What we are now doesn't mean its how we will be later, even if we would like to think otherwise.

If he is less spiritual maybe you being in his life will bring him closer to the Lord. One never really knows.

 

[ana86]

thank for replying xfreakazoidx.

I don't really think I'm crazy
Eight years ago, I was persuaded that my love for him could not come from God because God wants the best for me and this wasn't the best (in my mind).
Now after dating two 'spiritual' guys, I realized that there is a difference between enjoying a discussion or a friendship with a fellow Christian and being in a love relationship with that same Christian. Moreover, as sincere as we all can be in loving and serving God, I realized that we do not all live our faith in the same way... So if I was trying to avoid arguments over the bible by dating 'spiritual' guys, I was wrong.

Today, I am simply open to all possibilities...I cannot say with confidence that God wants me to be with the guy I loved. I can only acknowledge the fact that I have fought against it for eight years unsuccessfully and God might be the one behind it.

i have prayed so much about it and even fasted as I said before... that I feel a little bit hopeless at this point... but I know and I will not (in the long run) stop waiting on God for an answer... But I must say it is a bit frustrating not to get an answer immediately after praying. Maybe I am not enough focused, that is why I do not hear or maybe the voice of my feelings is so strong that I cannot hear anything else. Frankly speaking, i don't know what to think. Some people in church think that I'm just to weak because I'm allowing my feelings to guide me and not the Words of God( i don't really know which verse they are referring to...but...)

 

[Sketcher]

Sounds like you haven't let him go. Sounds like you need to. And it doesn't sound like God is behind this.

 

[rosemary]

It is good that you started keeping in touch with one another. The fact that you have the feelings for him and you can’t seem to forget him then it will become very difficult for you to be in another relationship with another guy. The good thing is that both of you are in love and are Christians. You should however stop judging him of not being passionate about God the same way you are. It is better you explain your feelings to the guys you broke-up with, I’m sure they will understand your situation.

You are not crazy and I advise you to find time and talk with your first love (the high school guy) and express your feeling to him sincerely. Talk over the issue how you feel about him. This way you will come to understand one another better because he will too tell you his opinions.