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[bèlla]

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[Petros2015]

Women get divorced at a significantly higher rate when you separate the data.

7.7 per 1000 for just women
but 2.6 per 1000 for the national average...

... what...?

Is that reflecting the party that is initiating the divorce, meaning that when there are divorces they are initiated (more) by men? Otherwise I would figure that (roughly) every time a woman gets divorced, a man gets divorced too, so those numbers should be almost identical.

 

[GOD Shines Forth!]

Wow, lots of information! Thank you for taking time to do that.

 

[bèlla]

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[bèlla]

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[GOD Shines Forth!]

"Despite the fact that the rate of marriage is declining faster than rates of divorce, experts predict that somewhere between 40 and 50% of all marriages existing today will ultimately end in divorce."

This is sad.

 

[bèlla]

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[GOD Shines Forth!]

I suspect that’s due to faith (they’re all believers), values, and culture. Longevity didn’t fall by the wayside for everyone.

That's great. We need all the strong families we can get.

 

[DragonFox91]

This is sad.

That's why I was so curious about demographics.

This is a lot to unpack. I scanned thru it quick. One stat I was hoping for & thought was true, is true. I'll look at it in depth later.

 

[bèlla]

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[ThisIsMe123]

7.7 per 1000 for just women
but 2.6 per 1000 for the national average...

... what...?

Is that reflecting the party that is initiating the divorce, meaning that when there are divorces they are initiated (more) by men? Otherwise I would figure that (roughly) every time a woman gets divorced, a man gets divorced too, so those numbers should be almost identical.

It isn't surprising that a good percentage of women are the initiators as the benefits weigh more so in their favor than so than the men that they divorce. Men stand to lose more.

Also, outside of infidelity, abuse, (both mental and physical) when you see a story where the husband is blindsided and see her packed bags because she wants a divorce...just....because...well Typically, just irreconcilable differences. Or...they just don't want someone in their lives in a romantic capacity anymore.

As a single bachelor in his 40s, when trying to date, I am finding a lot of 40-something divorced women that are more so satisfied with their gal pals they hang out with and their family members, kids, etc. A man...they have no desire for. What they get is enough from the people in their lives that aren't romantic partners. (Kids, nieces, nephews, gal pals). Men that attempt to approach them, they are like "No, sorry...not looking to date".

It appears women don't have much use for men these days.

Especially after they've had their children. What's the point of having the male counterpart that's functional for impregnation when it's now no longer needed?

Women have become more independent on themselves than back in the days of our grandparents where the man was the breadwinner and his entire salary supported the family and the woman's soul purpose in life was to have children and basically be on the wait for hubby with his dinner when he gets home. And HE thought everything was fine.

In some situations, the women/wifes think that the marriage in general..is holding them back.

I often wondered that some women that married in the WW II era really loved...or...even LIKED their spouse?
Movies would often depict women at the USO dances, chaperoned by Catholic nuns, to eagerly await to dance with whatever soldier asked them. Then....couple up and marry.

There's an analogy, something about a fish on a bicycle and about how much find men useful in their lives these days? I forgot how it went. lol

Sorry if this post sounds rather cold, but...it's not far from the truth.

Also, don't forget, the reason there are low divorce rates is that people are just living together and not marrying or, don't divorce because they cannot afford to. They are miserable together, but simply cannot afford the financials for it.

 

[DragonFox91]

I'd like to see the stats on by religion. I suspect religion equals high divorce rate? I think I've heard atheists/agnostics proud of that stat. But even more interesting would be by denomination......

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I'd like to see the stats on by religion. I suspect religion equals high divorce rate? I think I've heard atheists/agnostics proud of that stat. But even more interesting would be by denomination......

Yeah, it used to kind of shock me when I first started going to singles groups in chuch in my mid-20s and already coming across divorced people with kids. Back then those were deal breakers for me.

 

[DragonFox91]

Yeah, it used to kind of shock me when I first started going to singles groups in chuch in my mid-20s and already coming across divorced people with kids. Back then those were deal breakers for me.

I'm in my late 20s. Every church group I've attended is primarily single men who have never married & aren't even dating. Change of the times, I guess.

I don't know many people my age who have been divorced. A couple I think. That's one of the reasons I was so curious about divorced stats.

 

[bèlla]

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[DragonFox91]

I don't think financial independence amongst women is a big factor. Tho it does play a role.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I'm in my late 20s. Every church group I've attended is primarily single men who have never married & aren't even dating. Change of the times, I guess.

I don't know many people my age who have been divorced. A couple I think. That's one of the reasons I was so curious about divorced stats.

Where I live, being its a smaller community, it's pretty much customary to marry your high school sweet heart before legal drinking age and have 2 kids by 25. lol

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I think there's a lot of truth in that statement. Are you including Christian women in your comment?



Women didn't have a choice. Whether she was poor or born into wealth. Marriage was expected.



@DragonFox91 and I discussed this the other day on the Mind thread. The absence of financial independence skews the data. It gives the impression that marriage was desirable for most when welfare was part of the package. Remove it from the picture and you get a different result.

Since you opened floor...

Men have a harder time living without women than we do without you. They rarely provide the bulk of a woman's emotional needs. That's met through friends and family. We can be satisfied in singleness in a manner he can't. Their physical needs can't be sated by their sex. Or his emotional needs either.

That's why men partner after divorce and widowhood. Being alone is difficult.

Practically speaking, marriage benefits men more than women. You get someone to look after you. We get work. She's responsible for her spouse, children, home, and contribution to the household. Her day never ends.

Their calling card was security and provision. But few can do so today. They're dependent on a woman's contribution for sustenance. I'm not diminishing his support but the day to day responsibilities often fall to her.

The reality of their position and marital demands have compelled some to forgo it. I expect increases with both sexes.

Right...and some widows can easily move on when their spouses die. Though I've heard it's kind of 50/50....like if the husband dies, the adult children worry that mother just sits at home, not knowing what to do with herself.

I recall meeting this Christian woman through Meetup groups. She was Russian born, (came from a mail-order bride situation in the 90s). Divorced later, has an adult daughter. Rather youthful looking for her age (late 40s).

But...she has a house to upkeeping with VERY elaborate landscaping. When we went out on a date, we already had kind of a familiarity with each other through the Meetup group. She was implying she wanted someone around to help with the yard (the elaborate landscaping). That it was becoming too much work for her, alone...so I was wondering if she was really looking for love or just finding a man for utilitarian reasons, and in kind, give him some lovin' in return. LOL I dunno, but that's the vibe I got from her.

Plus she seemed, kinda...cold a bit. (That's the Russian in her I guess). She was also a germaphobe...made you take of your shoes before entering her house...and no, not just because you're tracking mud, but shoes = germs.lol

I think I went of tangent here.

Oh going back to the women intiating...you know...there is typically a reason. It seems common that the man is oblivious and scratching his head wondering "Why'd she leave me" when he thought everything was alright.

These men get rather content in their marriages, but...typically the wife has a problem and attempts to communicate that problem, only to be blown off about it.

So it was not the actions of the husband that drove her to divorce, but his IN-actions.

That's why, when I meet someone, I REALLY need to click with them on a best friend level of commonality. Someone that "GETS" you and vice-versa.

 

[bèlla]

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[bèlla]

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