:(

[angelluv]

It's been a year since I last self-injured. It's a daily struggle, and lately it's been harder for me then usual.

 

[LazeyWinde]

*Hugs* Hang in there and keep resisting.
A year is a good accomplishment.

 

[angelluv]

I just don't know what to do anymore. So much is going on. I wish I knew how to make it all better. I try praying to God, but I think he wants me to do this on my own.

 

[tapero]

Hi Angelluv,

I'm not so sure that He wants us to do things on our own. We need His strength and truths and help in every area of our lives. He wants us to depend on Him, though in this world we have so many struggles, we depend on what we know to be true about God, his promises, that He will never leave us nor forsake us.

Keep trying to talk to God, and just tell Him how you feel all the time. He says He will provide us a way out when we are tempted. We just need to see the door that He's left open for us to go through instead of the other.

I know it's not easy at all. I just wanted to tell you that we can depend on God for everything in our lives. Though we don't always see His hand in things, often times as we look back, we see it very much so. But we don't always get to see that, sometimes, yet, not always; we just need to try to have faith and know that He is working in our lives and helping us at every turn. Faith comes by reading and hearing the word.

He loves you so much.

God bless you hon,
tapero

 

[LazeyWinde]

I just don't know what to do anymore. So much is going on. I wish I knew how to make it all better. I try praying to God, but I think he wants me to do this on my own.

I don't know... whenever I isolate myself when I'm having trouble with self harm I tend to get worse.
Feel free to PM or IM me anytime.

 

[angelluv]

Yeah, the bad thing is I don't have anyone to go to. My friends all gave up on me when I was suspended from college. It's 5 hours away so I have no one I can go to. I'm making another Counseling appointment ASAP. I also told my mom to be prepared just in case I have to go to the hospital. It isn't like me to want to cut. I haven't for a year, why would I want to start up again on that addiction.

 

[Finn88]

It isn't like me to want to cut. I haven't for a year, why would I want to start up again on that addiction.

You dont!
thats why youv'e posted on here instead! And why youv'e made a counceling appointment!
You're already dealing with your urges really well Well done! We're all praying for you to stay strong and get the help you need! God is with you love

Meantime, try reading the bible as a distraction...just about anything will do, maybey a gospel, or Acts or something. If you're having difficulty praying, that might focus your mind and help you to draw near to him.
Just a suggestion.

Finnyxx

 

[LazeyWinde]

Yeah, the bad thing is I don't have anyone to go to. My friends all gave up on me when I was suspended from college. It's 5 hours away so I have no one I can go to. I'm making another Counseling appointment ASAP. I also told my mom to be prepared just in case I have to go to the hospital. It isn't like me to want to cut. I haven't for a year, why would I want to start up again on that addiction.

I didn't have the urge to self harm for almost 3 years... Then some things went downhill and I was getting triggered badly.
I hope you can get the appointment soon.

 

[angelluv]

Great news, I have a psychiatrist appointment for Monday morning at 8:00. I also have a counseling appointment either Wednesday, or the wednesday after at 4:00. I have to take vacation off at work, but as soon as possible is better than nothing. I had a really bad night last night, but I just drank some Mountain dew, and feel a little bit better. Probably cuz I'm on a sugar high. And I didn't cut last night, as tempting as it was!!!

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

That's awesome Hun! Congratulations! I'll be praying for the appointments too .

 

[Finn88]

And I didn't cut last night, as tempting as it was!!!

yay! Well done! keep it up, you're doing great!

Finnx

 

[LazeyWinde]

Great news, I have a psychiatrist appointment for Monday morning at 8:00. I also have a counseling appointment either Wednesday, or the wednesday after at 4:00. I have to take vacation off at work, but as soon as possible is better than nothing. I had a really bad night last night, but I just drank some Mountain dew, and feel a little bit better. Probably cuz I'm on a sugar high. And I didn't cut last night, as tempting as it was!!!

That's great. I hope the appointments go well. Keep it up.

 

[angelluv]

Yesterday was really bad. Anytime I saw anything sharp I got triggered. My appointment is tomorrow for my psychiatrist. Hopefully it won't go as bad as I'm expecting it to.

 

[BrokenSilence]

I can really relate to where you are right now. It's been almost a year for me as well...not sure of the exact time though. Lately the urges have been way worse though. If it weren't for reaching out to God and my fiance, I know I'd be SI-ing again. I'm glad you're reaching out and getting help. I know for me when it gets like this, I'm useless on my own. I hope things get better for you!

 

[angelluv]

Thanks, yeah I do need to keep my eye on God. Sometimes it's hard, though, because you feel so alone. He's been keeping me from it, so I know I'm doing something right. I'm glad to have people who can relate, thats really the best thing you need.