ido
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If you are unhappy with the situation at hand, then create boundaries that will make you happy. Only you know what those boundaries are - we cannot read your mind or your heart.
That said - IMO, it is fine to be "friends first" if he really wants to re-build the relationship. But, personally, I would put up boundaries for the matter of coming and going as he pleases on the weekends. He has created his own personal space and you don't simply show up whenever. I wouldn't allow him to just come and go and he pleases from my residence. He can set up a schedule with you and communicate with you about the time he wants to spend together. The agreement to when he can visit can be open and viable - in other words, he doesn't have to have a set "visitation" schedule, but he does have to communicate with you ahead of time about when he wants to be around on the weekends. I would ask that he let you know his schedule by no later than Weds of every week.
If he was truly just a friend - or even someone you were dating - and not your estranged husband, he wouldn't have the freedom to behave the way he is now. He says he wants to be friends, so treat him like a friend.
JMHO.
That said - IMO, it is fine to be "friends first" if he really wants to re-build the relationship. But, personally, I would put up boundaries for the matter of coming and going as he pleases on the weekends. He has created his own personal space and you don't simply show up whenever. I wouldn't allow him to just come and go and he pleases from my residence. He can set up a schedule with you and communicate with you about the time he wants to spend together. The agreement to when he can visit can be open and viable - in other words, he doesn't have to have a set "visitation" schedule, but he does have to communicate with you ahead of time about when he wants to be around on the weekends. I would ask that he let you know his schedule by no later than Weds of every week.
If he was truly just a friend - or even someone you were dating - and not your estranged husband, he wouldn't have the freedom to behave the way he is now. He says he wants to be friends, so treat him like a friend.
JMHO.
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