3-2-1- Magic

[Katydid]

What is this? I was reading in another forum that this mother used this, but I have no clue what it is.

 

[elizabethevangeline]

What was the context?

I use 1, 2, 3, then consequences. When I ask my child to do something, if they don't respond I start counting, if I make it to 3 there will be consequences. It's the strangest thing, the counting lights a fire under 'em.

 

[Katydid]

I know, that is what I do too. I actually did a search and got a basic explanation, and it looks like someone wrote a book on a technique that has been used for centuries and now he is making money off of it. Well, who am I to judge. Just that almost every parent I know does this.

 

[Martin Calvin]

I'm on board with you all too. My son is just two, but he can already count to three (well almost we're having a little trouble with prounanciation, but getting there).

 

[Andy Broadley]

I'm on board with you all too. My son is just two, but he can already count to three (well almost we're having a little trouble with prounanciation, but getting there).

Me too. Seldom get to fwee (sorry three)

 

[andiesmama]

Me too. Seldom get to fwee (sorry three)

funny!

Yea, isn't is amazing how their little ears are SOOO turned OFF when you're talking....yet, as soon as you say "1...2..." they immediately jump up and are paying attention! I think I've only made it to 3 a couple times, and Andie's never complained about the consequence, she knows it's coming!

 

[Crusading_Ostrich]

I'm not a parent at all...but I saw the thread on the main board and know what it is since the camp I work at in the summer uses it...there was a funny movie version of it...with the child threatening to kill themselves and run away from home...(all in jest...not in seriousness...it was cheesy)
The jist of it is...
1-2-3 Magic is a disciplining system used for children. If a child is doing something wrong, you give them a 1 - as a warning. If they keep doing it you say 2. Stronger warning. If they persist they get a 3 and are given a "timeout" where they sit by themselves for 5 minutes or so.
However, if the issues warrants, you skip directly to 5 right away...(i.e. hitting younger sibling etc.)
The point is to encourage the children to stop what they are doing when you tell them to do it. Say (shortly after) they do the same thing again, you would count them to 2 if they were already on a 1. However, the program says don't keep them on 1 for too long.
It is used for a range of ages mainly between ??-11...
That is what I know of it anyway...I'm not endorsing it as a miracle helper nor and I condemning...just trying to give a portrayal

 

[Katydid]

Yup,same thing parents have been doing forever. But, of course, I remember it with a spanking at 3.

 

[Katydid]

and Andie's never complained about the consequence, she knows it's coming!

That's funny because it reminded me of a conversation I just had with my 7 yr. old. He had walked away, thrown a fit and slammed a door. I went in and spanked his bottom (he's getting too old for this really, and it doesn't really affect other than the thought) but he turned around and screamed at me. I looked at him and I asked "YOU know that if you do this you will get spanked don't you?" him "Yes". ME " so you wanted a spanking" him "NO" me "don't you understand that if you know the consequences to an action and you choose to do it anyway, that you are ASKING for the consequences" him "I don't get it" So I sat him down and told him a story "If I am driving down the road, and I know for a fact that there is a police officer on the side of the road and I speed past him knowing that a ticket is my punishment, then I am asking for him to give me a ticket. I KNOW that this is what I will get, yet I choose to speed anyway. Can I then get mad at the policeman for doing his job and giving me a ticket?" him "well, no". me "So when you do something that you know the consequences of, you have no right to get mad at me for handing them out, do you understand?" Him "yes, ma'am, I guess so". You know he hasn't thrown a fit about a punishment since.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

The whole countin system hadn't gone over real well here... mainly cause I fowled it all up in th first place hehe, now round here it's 3-2-1-fire! An I normally launch a pillow at my daughter hehe, she an I are major Trekkies an she goes crazy for em photon torpedos come flyin at er. Mainly use it when she doesn't wanna git up in th mornin an give us hugs.... only takes a folly of 5 er 10 dern torps to git er to give us a hug LOL

 

[TammyCares2]

One thing I can't stand is to watch parents slow down the count when their little brat doesn't respond quickly! rrrgggghhhhh...

My Mom used to count, but you KNEW you didn't dare let her get to 5. By 4 she was already heading to get the paddle! <gulp>

 

[OldShepherd]

Let us suppose you are outside with your toddler, you turn away for a moment, (nobody can watch a child 24/7) and when you turn back he/she is heading for a busy street as fast as his/her legs will run. You don't have time for 1-2-3-etc. But if your child has been repeatedly conditioned to always expect 1-2-3. . . .?

 

[HeatherJay]

3-2-1 Magic is a book and a discipline concept. I own the book, I've read it cover to cover, but it's not something I feel strongly about either way. It's, as others have said, basicly a Time-Out based disicpline program, but some of the concepts were just NOT ME, lol.

Now, I've found a system that works rather well for my kids. They get one warning, and if they refuse to listen, then it's straight to time out.

I have a friend who counts to 10 for her children...10!! Of course you know that her children never behave until she gets to 9...and I've even heard her do the nonsense of 9 and 1/2, 9 and 3/4!! LOL, come on!

That's when I stopped doing the 1-2-3 thing. Count #1 and #2 are only giving them a liscense to misbehave for one extra count. So, now it's one warning and then punishment. And it works for us.

 

[suzybeezy]

I had a child psychologist tell me that you should never use the 123 method. He said that they should listen the first time. He said that if you tell them once and they don't listen they should understand they will be disciplined. He said that if you use the 123 method, they learn that they have time to continue with the behavior before they listen. I followed his advise and started reacting after my first verbal que. It seems to have really made a difference. They understand what I said, I mean. That way, when they are outside and a car is coming and I say "stop", they will know to stop, not in 1, 2, 3 smush.

 

[Katydid]

My children know the difference in the way I use it. I ONLY use 1-2-3 when I know they need to contemplate the consequences. They need that time to think, especially my 3 yr. old. He does not understand what is said many times. If I just say "NO" they know to immediately stop. If I say, "either do ...... or ...... will happen," he needs time to register that and contemplate. So for him we need that. Our older child and my 18 month old don't even wait for me to count, they just do as they are told. Each of my children is very different from the others, so I have to adjust my methods for each of them.

 

[Bethshaya]

It is actually 1-2-3 Magic and it is a discipline technique created by Thomas Phalen. We have been using it in our house for 6 years now and it works miracles.

His website is at ParentMagic.com

Basically, you simply start counting when the child is doing something wrong. Even and quick spaces numbers with a definate and ultimate consequence for getting to 3. Time out for a specified period of time.

No other talking in between the numbers...no bargaining, just 1-2-3 Time Out!

After a few days, the child begins to realize that once you get to 2, you mean business.

I rarely get to 2 now. I start with one and my son immediately stops.

 

[Katydid]

Bethshaya,
The reason I asked the question was originally to find out if I was doing what was recommended in this book, if my parents did it. And we do, though our consequences are different. Thank you for posting as someone who has used the book.