18 y/o son into Wicca...tell him to move out?

[AFDad]

Good day everyone

This is my 1st post, and it's a diffrent one. OK, in a nut shell one of our twin sons is into Wicca. We were hoping it was just some kind of teen rebellion but it seems he really likes it and will go out in the woods and do his "nature rituals" and such.

So my wife and I are faced with a choice, ask him to leave to house and find his own place as soon as he's done with High School or stick to our life-time plan and let him stay home while he goes to college?

Our background is S. Baptist born again and have lived our faith. Kids went to Church 3 times a week plus Awana (both making it to pioneers) since birth so they are not ignorent of the Lord, one just chooses to turn away.

I'm currently on a year tour in Korea so wife has to deal with this until I return home in May

Any suggestions?

 

[lawtonfogle]

Kicking him out could turn out to be just about as bad as telling him it is ok to practice Wicca. I would say it really depends on your son. If he will sit down, and will carry out a civilized discussion with you on why he decided to be Wiccan (or your wife), and you know you (or your wife) can also carry on such a discussion (some parents are prone to the 'because I'm your parent' or such, which will not work with 18 year olds), then you and your wife need to find a good site one what is Wicca, and how it goes against God, and then discuss this with him.

If he can't carry on such a conversation, then it is most likely a trend (being that most people who decide to join anything without being able to explain why do it because it is 'the thing to do').

 

[Linnis]

Love the sinner, hate the sin. Let him stay in your house but not practice or have Wiccan related materials in your home. Throwing him out will make it seem like Christians are unloving and push him more towards witchcraft.

 

[AFDad]

Thanks guys. Well I wasn't going to "Throw him out". Just help him find a place of his own on good terms because his choice WILL cause conflict. I'd much rather have a cordial relationship then have a big fight and never talk to each other again.

He is open to discussion but he can not defend his faith in Wicca and gets mad easy when I try to talk to him and ask questions he can not answer.

 

[bliz]

It's not clear to me what is accomplished by asking him to move out, no matter how nicely it is done. I see such an action as pushing him away from the family, heightened all the more since he is a twin. Right now I think he needs to be shown in every way possible how much you love him.

This may sound really weird... but it might be interesting to see if he would go with you or your wife to visit some more liturgical churches - Lutheran or Episcopal - look areound for one that's into the "smells and bells". It's possible that a some part of the attraction to Wicca is an attraction to rituals. Some people who grow up without any formal rituals really have a yearning for them.

 

[CelticRose]

What does his twin say? I've got teenage twin boys & often the best approach is to chat to the one you don't have an issue with. No-one gets mad & the twin understands his brother's viewpoint & is able to talk about it impartially because he has no stake in it. It's a peculiar round about way of doing things I admit but I'd bet his twin knows more than he's saying.

 

[GoNoles]

I agree with everyone saying he would be better at home. However, since he's still in high school AND LIVING AT HOME, you certainly have control over curfew and stuff like that. If he's going-off into the woods cut his free time down so that he doesn't have the time to do that.

Does the whole family still attend church together or has he been allowed to 'go his own way?' "My roof - my rules" is still valid. You can't make him follow Christ in his heart, but you can certainly help keep him grounded in church.

 

[AFDad]

Thanks guys
He fights all the time because his twin brother "does not respect him" and makes fun of his clothes and stuff (death metal tee shirts and such) As "twin A" goes off in his Wicca/death metal direction he has less and less in common with "twin B" so the value of brotherly intervention is questionable

Wife goes to church but alone (and I'm in Korea) Twin A refuses to go to Church at all...although liturgical churches is an interesting option but one I suspect he'll also refuse. "Twin B" doesn't care either way. If Wife tries to "make them" go Twin A will lock himself in his room till church is over

My wife is taking Twin A to a counseler tomorrow...he has more issue than just "Wicca" so well see what happens and what the Dr. recommends

 

[heron]

This may sound really weird... but it might be interesting to see if he would go with you or your wife to visit some more liturgical churches - Lutheran or Episcopal - look areound for one that's into the "smells and bells". It's possible that a some part of the attraction to Wicca is an attraction to rituals.

Good point.

Another attraction to wicca is the individual creativity, the ownership of one's faith. Kids who grow up immersed in church sometimes feel like church is what someone else wants them to do, and they can't quite take ownership of it because there are no challenges presented, few responsibilities handed over to them, and the facts aren't allowed to be questioned.

So it might not be so much a desire to worship other gods as an attempt to try new things, take charge of something unique to them (especially a twin), explore depths of mysteries, and be less associated with their parents at this time of practicing flying from the nest.

 

[AFDad]

Update...My wife brought him to the hospital and had him admitted to a 14 day inpatient program for clinical depression. We'll pray for him and see how things come out after he gets released.

 

[bliz]

Update...My wife brought him to the hospital and had him admitted to a 14 day inpatient program for clinical depression. We'll pray for him and see how things come out after he gets released.

Thanks for the update.

 

[heron]

Update...My wife brought him to the hospital and had him admitted to a 14 day inpatient program for clinical depression. We'll pray for him and see how things come out after he gets released.

Oh, that's hard to walk through. Prayers for you , him, and the family.

At least you were able to find this out while he was still in your home -- people find it hard to get motivated, to pull themselves out of depression.

 

[homeofmew]

definitely let him finish high school.
Now that he's 18 he can choose any religion he wants.
However I wouldn't kick him out yet.
I think it still may be a rebellion thing.
It may have to do with acceptance, and he's accepted in this group.

The main problem with kicking out your kid that changed faiths in that they are going (or may have an attitude) of oh my Christian parents kicked me out and they may have a grudge against Christianity and Christians and you as parents in general and I don;t think you want to cut all contact from him.

 

[TexasSky]

Please keep us posted.
Is it possible the whole thing is an attempt to "set himself apart from his twin?"

Love him. Love will do far more to draw him to Christ than anything else.

However, loving him does not mean you have to compromise certain things. Tell him that nothing that remotely resembles the worship of a goddess is to be brought into your home.

 

[moonkitty]

Good day everyone

This is my 1st post, and it's a diffrent one. OK, in a nut shell one of our twin sons is into Wicca. We were hoping it was just some kind of teen rebellion but it seems he really likes it and will go out in the woods and do his "nature rituals" and such.

So my wife and I are faced with a choice, ask him to leave to house and find his own place as soon as he's done with High School or stick to our life-time plan and let him stay home while he goes to college?

Our background is S. Baptist born again and have lived our faith. Kids went to Church 3 times a week plus Awana (both making it to pioneers) since birth so they are not ignorent of the Lord, one just chooses to turn away.

I'm currently on a year tour in Korea so wife has to deal with this until I return home in May

Any suggestions?

20 years ago and you could have been my parents. I grew up in a very S. Baptist church, 3 times a week, and private Baptist school. And the same thing, execpt I didn't care for wicca or any relgion. I was so done and over with religion by the time I was 15 that just mentioning the word church would make my skin crawl. Of course by the time I was 17 my parents gave me the same option, stay at home and be a good little christian or move out and be an atheist. I hated leaving, esp since I was still in high school, but in the end it was the best thing. My parent would never, and still don't, accept or understand me. My father passed away ten years ago, and my mom whie still alive only calls and speaks to me maybe twice a year. All because she can not get over the fact that I don't believe the same way she does. If you can not accept your son's personal belief, and love and accept him as who he is--wicca and all--then he will grow futher and futher away from you till you hardly know him at all.

 

[RedRed]

I am a new christian and have had many wiccan and pagan friends before knowing God. I think the main thing drawing your son to wicca is that is does hold very real power and it is easy to access. You don't see many christians tapping into the powers that God holds, even though they could. Wiccans do tap into the powers of the enemy and they are very real and strong and they DO make things happen.

Maybe you could explain that you know the powers of wicca are very real and do work, but that they are from the enemy and they will bring demons into your life, which I have really known and seen, since becoming a christian. Try to explain that while the sense of power and knowledge they hold seems good, it is not. Let him know that satan stole all of the knowledge of those powers from the heavens when he fell and is using them for evil. God created all of those powers and has them available for christians to use for good and he created the enemy, so God does hold the higher power. Ask him to use the powers of God, it says that he can do miracles, signs and wonders as Jesus did when he was here and even greater things. I don't know why christians do use those powers, but they are there. It says so in the bible.

Tell him to read the old books of the bible and he will see that while socerers had power, God's power was stronger. The magicians threw their staffs down and they turned into snakes as moses's did, yet moses's sanke swallowed theirs up.

RedRed

 

[heron]

I was so done and over with religion by the time I was 15 that just mentioning the word church would make my skin crawl.

Sigh. People have the best intentions, and really overdo it. Sometimes out of fear that they might do it wrong. I hope your mom settles down and finds renewed love in the family.

You don't see many christians tapping into the powers that God holds, even though they could.

That is usually not taught in Sunday School! The adults always wonder why the kids don't see their faith the same, but it's because a different faith is presented. They are presented with a list of things to learn, instead of a faith to explore and an endearing God to know better.

 

[moonkitty]

Sigh. People have the best intentions, and really overdo it. Sometimes out of fear that they might do it wrong. I hope your mom settles down and finds renewed love in the family.

Settles down and finds renewed love in the family?

Uhm, it was not me who cast her out of the family. I was the one who was told to get out by the family. I have very little contact with most of my extended family (with the execption of one of my sisters) mainly because I'm the "lost sheep" who doesn't go to church like the rest of them. She enjoys almost daily contact with the rest of the family. Like I said, this is her descion. Not mine.

 

[heron]

Perfect love casts out all fear.

Neither life nor death nor angels nor principalities... can separate us from the love of God.

 

[WorshipBassist]

Playing around with Wicca is playing around with forces you can't control.