10 New Terms to Add to Your Dating Dictionary

[bèlla]

Courtesy of Ask Men.

Vulturing

Just like a vulture circling its wounded prey, some people out there can sense when a relationship is on its last leg. That’s their signal to swoop in, using that opportunity to pick up the pieces and make everything better.

It’s important to note that simply waiting and hoping for a chance with someone who’s in a flailing relationship is not necessarily vulturing. The distinction here?

When someone is vulturing, they are specifically taking advantage of someone who is in a weak or vulnerable state.

Throning

If you’ve ever had a suspicious feeling that someone was dating you just to take advantage of your VIP status at a club of sorts, you may very well have been throned. Think of it as another form of gold digging that extends beyond wealth. Past the money aspect, this person wants to reap the benefits of your reputation and status, too.

It’s a behavior used to increase your own power simply by dating someone who already has it.

Zombieing

Ghosting, when someone cuts off communication with zero explanation, is bad enough. It can leave you feeling hurt and confused as to why things ended without any sort of warning. But when, out of the blue, they come back to life with a desire to rekindle that old flame you once thought to be dead, they’ve taken things a step further than ghosting. Say hello to zombieing.

It gives both people another shot at the relationship.

Pocketing/Stashing

You hang out regularly, your connection seems strong and it’s obvious that you’re compatible in several ways — you’re a bit curious why you still haven’t been introduced to any friends or family. Well, that might mean that they’re pocketing (or stashing) you. This typically happens when someone is uncertain about where a relationship is going, keeping you on the DL for a period of time while they try to figure out how they feel.

People who pocket or stash their dates do so in order to control the relationship.

They may do this because they’re not serious and they don’t want you to know that, so they keep you from friends and family who would clue you in to the fact that you’ve never been mentioned. Sometimes, people who do this are actually married or living with someone, and they’re trying to keep you from learning that.

Orbiting

Is there anything more confusing than someone ghosting you, only to show face by doing things like commenting on your Instagram posts and watching your Snapchat stories? Unlike with zombieing, there’s no text to try and make amends. In this case, they just pop up in your notifications as someone orbiting you would.

They’re in your orbit, but you don’t have any direct contact with them.

Curving

When someone says they want to hang out soon, but always seems to be busy when you try to make plans (or just cancels plans last minute), they may be using this cop-out of a strategy. Unlike ghosters, people who resort to curving don’t disappear — they just keep coming up with new excuses to dodge you.

This entails rejecting someone in the most passive way possible.

Instagrandstanding

You’re eager to get your crush to notice you, you start tailoring all of your social media posts to make yourself seem more appealing.

The idea is that you’ll get their attention, and hopefully inspire them to comment or message you.

Kittenfishing

Kittenfishing refers to someone misrepresenting themselves on their dating apps by lying about their interests, career or appearance.

If you show up to your first date and their appearance clearly suggests they’ve used photos from 10 years ago, you’ve officially been kittenfished.

Marleying

One in 10 singles are contacted by exes hoping to rekindle things around the holidays. Social media feeds tend to be packed with end-of-year gatherings and work parties where you’ll most likely want a date to bring. The term refers to Jacob Marley, the ghost who haunts Scrooge in “A Christmas Carol.”

It could be dating simply for convenience, and you don’t realise you’ve been Marleyed until the holidays are over — and so is the relationship.

Roaching

Roaching is when someone secretly dates a slew of other people even thought things were exclusive. When you bring up the implied exclusivity, they act clueless.

You’re playing the field, but hiding that fact from a partner. When they confront you, you remind them that there was never any monogamy agreement to begin with.

~Bella

 

[ReesePiece23]

Zombieing

Ghosting, when someone cuts off communication with zero explanation, is bad enough. It can leave you feeling hurt and confused as to why things ended without any sort of warning. But when, out of the blue, they come back to life with a desire to rekindle that old flame you once thought to be dead, they’ve taken things a step further than ghosting. Say hello to zombieing.

In this case, you've either passed some sort of test or they're calling in their plan B.

Dating is a funny game - I don't recommend anyone get involved with it.

 

[bèlla]

In this case, you've either passed some sort of test or they're calling in their plan B.

Dating is a funny game - I don't recommend anyone get involved with it.

I can’t say whether dating or courtship is best. It seems we’ve forgotten that kindness and courtesy are part of the process.

~Bella

 

[ReesePiece23]

I can’t say whether dating or courtship is best. It seems we’ve forgotten that kindness and courtesy are part of the process.

~Bella

Kindness and courtesy? No, that's where you're going wrong see. Don't you know? You need to act indifferent towards someone in order to make them fall in love with you. It's called the "kiss chase merry-go-round principle".

In fact, smiling at them, looking at them, listening to them, acknowledging them, or even sharing the same oxygen as them are ALL common dating mistakes that people make. You need to do absolutely everything in your power to come off as a complete witch if you want any chance of success.

Joking aside, as long as *I* like me, that's all that matters. Wife, girlfriend, date, friend, I can live without all of them. I've got me babe.

 

[bèlla]

Kindness and courtesy? No, that's where you're going wrong see. Don't you know? You need to act indifferent towards someone in order to make them fall in love with you. It's called the "kiss chase merry-go-round principle".

This reminds me of something I read years ago. It was a message I returned to often and I’ll share it here.

If you want to know the end; look at the beginning. —African Proverb

Wherever you are in your heart and mind at the outset of a relationship is where you will be at the end. Whatever you bring to the start of the relationship is what you will have to clean up at the end. You cannot begin a relationship in dishonesty and deceit and hope to experience an honest end.

If you run into a relationship to get away from another, you will run into another one to get away from this one. If you enter a relationship in fear, anger or grief, you stand a pretty good chance of finding more of the same.

If you enter a relationship in sadness, desperation and pain, guess what? You will find it again. If we want to put an end to anger, bitter and ugly separations, we must begin our relationships with the open, loving honesty we say we want. If we do not know who we are and how we feel at any time, it is best that we stay alone.

Affirmation: I will be better at the beginning to avoid anything worse at the end.

I’ve seen that principle at work in my life, with friends and those I’ve mentored. There’s a fine line between mutual cat and mouse and manipulating someone. While some secure the spoil. It’s never the prize they thought.

Joking aside, as long as *I* like me, that's all that matters. Wife, girlfriend, date, friend, I can live without all of them. I've got me babe.

I can’t say the same. I’m always on the lookout for iron in friends and loved ones. I wouldn’t be the woman I am without their input. And that doesn’t hold a candle to the effect a worthy man has on my mind and countenance.

I’ve stretched and plumbed depths I didn’t know I had until he showed up. He brings out the best in me. And he inspires me to soar.

I love myself and treasure being loved by others.

~Bella