“Court” or “Date”?

[Cordy]

What did you do?
What do you think about them are pre-marriage rituals?

EDIT: Sorry, folks... I should have provided definitions so we are on the same page.

Can we generally agree that dating is more couples based? It is when two individuals decide to start a romantic relationship with each other. I don’t think motive should count – some people date recreationally and some with serious intent. I think couple based is more the focus.

Can we agree that courting is more parent based? The man seeks permission from his parents to pursue a girl to marry her. The man asks her girl's father about possibly marrying his daughter, and courting her being the first step. If the father gives the ok, the man is allowed to approach the daughter. If she agrees to enter into this relationship, then they get to know each other for the purpose of marriage. The parents monitor the relationship, and it would end if they disapproved. Again, there is range. Some parents allow courting couples to go on “their own” to places, like dinner or church activities. Some parents are stricter and ensure a the couple is never completely alone and always chaperoned.

 

[alwaysyoung]

Wow, this will be a hot, debatable topic! I agree with courting, not dating. I'm a big advocate of the book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"...and I'm leaving before this gets too hot...
Lisa

 

[~Nikki~]

Someone tell me how you would define what my husband and I did...

We dated but purely with a view to seeing if we were right for each other. If we hadn't thought that we'd get married we would have stopped dating.

So is that considered dating or courting?

 

[Athene]

I'm an ignoramus, could somebody please tell me the difference between courting and dating, aren't they the same thing?

 

[firestar]

Well even though I consider what we did dating, we both knew we wanted to get married almost as soon as we got together and discussed it frankly within the first month or so. We ended up waiting three years to actually get married but it was a matter of finances not willingness or commitment.

 

[revrobor]

I'm an ignoramus, could somebody please tell me the difference between courting and dating, aren't they the same thing?

"Courting" is romancing someone with the intention of getting married. "Dating" is spending time with someone for the enjoyment of it.

 

[Athene]

"Courting" is romancing someone with the intention of getting married. "Dating" is spending time with someone for the enjoyment of it.

Oh I don't know, Im going to give a cop out answer, if you are looking to find somebody to marry then court, if not then date. Datings ok for teenagers.

 

[~Nikki~]

I guess we courted then...

 

[Cordy]

I think definitions might be a problem here.

Can we generally agree that dating is more couples based? It is when two individuals decide to start a romantic relationship with each other. I don’t think motive should count – some people date recreationally and some with serious intent. I think couple based is more the focus.

Can we agree that courting is more parent based? The man seeks permission from his parents to pursue a girl to marry her. The man asks her girl's father about possibly marrying his daughter, and courting her being the first step. If the father gives the ok, the man is allowed to approach the daughter. If she agrees to enter into this relationship, then they get to know each other for the purpose of marriage. The parents monitor the relationship, and it would end if they disapproved. Again, there is range. Some parents allow courting couples to go on “their own” to places, like dinner or church activities. Some parents are stricter and ensure a the couple is never completely alone and always chaperoned.

 

[Oblivious]

"Courting" is romancing someone with the intention of getting married. "Dating" is spending time with someone for the enjoyment of it.

Thanks for the definitions. (I was a little confused as well).

Wow, I guess I would say both - started out as dating, ended up as courting.

Courting kind of sounds like you're "spouse-hungry" to me. I don't think I ever dated someone with the intention right off the bat to marry them.

 

[Yitzchak]

I never dated. I courted. I never felt right about dating.

 

[~Nikki~]

I think definitions might be a problem here.

Can we generally agree that dating is more couples based? It is when two individuals decide to start a romantic relationship with each other. I don’t think motive should count – some people date recreationally and some with serious intent. I think couple based is more the focus.

Can we agree that courting is more parent based? The man seeks permission from his parents to pursue a girl to marry her. The man asks her girl's father about possibly marrying his daughter, and courting her being the first step. If the father gives the ok, the man is allowed to approach the daughter. If she agrees to enter into this relationship, then they get to know each other for the purpose of marriage. The parents monitor the relationship, and it would end if they disapproved. Again, there is range. Some parents allow courting couples to go on “their own” to places, like dinner or church activities. Some parents are stricter and ensure a the couple is never completely alone and always chaperoned.

Oops! Well, I guess that puts us back in the 'dating' category then. We dated with the intention of finding out whether we wanted to marry. I've never dated 'for the fun of it', because it never appealed to me.

And my husband never asked my father if he could court me, but he did ask permission to marry me.

So I don't know, you can all make up your own minds as to whether we dated or courted...

 

[Leanna]

Yeah I don't know which one I would fit into, probably more dating. My husband and I dated, without parental permission or supervision.... we went out, did our thing, but we also spent time with both of our parents so we could get to know our respective families. Before we got engaged, my husband and I talked to my parents to get their blessing, and he talked to his parents to get theirs. We were young(19 and 21) and felt that we needed our parents to behind us on that, and if they had said no we would have waited. It was a respect issue. But we dated on our own...

 

[Singin4Him]

We prefer to say that we were courting. Dating just sounds so frivolous and in the worlds view really is IMO. Though our parents didn't supervise us because we were adults, they were very involved and we spent time getting know both sets of parents. My husband got my parents blessing to court me and to marry me. We had their support all the way.

 

[Lena75]

We dated.

 

[LiberatedChick]

Well according to that definition we dated.

 

[beehoney]

What did you do?
What do you think about them are pre-marriage rituals?

EDIT: Sorry, folks... I should have provided definitions so we are on the same page.

Can we generally agree that dating is more couples based? It is when two individuals decide to start a romantic relationship with each other. I don’t think motive should count – some people date recreationally and some with serious intent. I think couple based is more the focus.

Can we agree that courting is more parent based? The man seeks permission from his parents to pursue a girl to marry her. The man asks her girl's father about possibly marrying his daughter, and courting her being the first step. If the father gives the ok, the man is allowed to approach the daughter. If she agrees to enter into this relationship, then they get to know each other for the purpose of marriage. The parents monitor the relationship, and it would end if they disapproved. Again, there is range. Some parents allow courting couples to go on “their own” to places, like dinner or church activities. Some parents are stricter and ensure a the couple is never completely alone and always chaperoned.

Based on these definitions, we dated first, then introduced each other to our parents. We weren't living with our parents when we started going out together so it was a bit silly to call home and ask permission to go on a date.

 

[ChildByGrace]

We dated based on the op descriptions.

I never dated just for the fun of it - all my boyfriends i went out with with the intention of it being serious but it didn't work out. My dh and i knew that we were going to get married after we'd known each other for about 3 months but he didn't approach my parents until we'd been together for 18 months

 

[gracefaith]

I'm okay with the concept of courting in the sense that people who are serious about finding mate ought only date people who are also serious about finding a mate. I have no problem with younger people (say under 18) just 'dating' to get to know themselves and the opposite gender. They shouldn't be thinking about getting married at that age anyway.

I'm pretty leary about the whole 'this is courtship, let's get the parent's permission' idea. I think this often puts way too much seriousness and pressure on a relationship way too early on. I mean, go out with a guy. If you like him, go out again. If it develops into a serious relationship, then introduce him to your parents. Personally, I think going through the formality of getting the parents blessing before you even go on a single date is kinda silly.

 

[Redguard]

Dated.