I dont love God like a christian should

Start with one thing.

Reading Bible stories to your kids.

Macchiato said:

I dont trust God
I dont see fruits of the spirit in myself
I dont forgive my enemies i hold a grudge like crazy..

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Well there’s your problem. Forgiveness is for you, not your enemies. You’re bonded by the chains of anger, spite, revenge, hurt, etc. The chains you keep shackled to your soul only capture you - it’s your pain & those who betrayed you can’t feel it. So start with forgiveness. As long as your heart holds onto the unforgiveness you cannot move forward in your relationship with God. You cannot heal. You cannot feel peace. Your soul is waiting on you. Start with prayer, say, “Lord, bless my enemies.” Be specific if you can.

Macchiato said:

What about everything else?? Thats good advice but i feel i habe to stir up feelings of love i just feel barren empty and exhausted.

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I know what you’re going through is exhausting. You feel so empty & defeated. Like God’s far away & too distant to feel His love. It’s okay to acknowledge those feelings but you’re not going to stay there forever. & what about the rest? Who knows what that looks like… Sometimes that doesn’t matter, & the only thing you can do, is take the first step. It’s kind of like getting into an argument with someone you love & you have to storm off. You know that you can’t go back until you forgive them - you can’t even begin to move forward until apologies are had. You don’t know what the rest of the conversation will look either but that doesn’t stop you. So I don’t know much but I do know you must start with forgiveness.

Most Christians are unaware that they are expected to grow and mature into Christ-likeness much less how to do it.

Eph 4:13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:

This is accomplished as we incrementally stop living in the selfishness of the flesh and start walking in the Spirit in the selfless love of Christ-likeness.

It can help to understand that our sinful nature is simply the selfish drives we have because we are disconnected from God. When one becomes a Christian, we get a connection through Christ to God, but we still carry around the old nature until we learn how to let go of it.

The Sin Nature

There are many images used to resonate with the human desire for peace and harmony. Sadly many were used to fuel the self-righteousness of college students in the 1960s who thought they alone had discovered that war and racism was bad and that it was incumbent upon them to teach an ignorant world. The idea of unifying the world might have some merit if people are basically good. However, unifying the world if people are basically bad would seem to be a dangerous undertaking. For this reason we should consider the nature of man.

Everyone born after Adam and Eve (except Jesus) was born helpless, ignorant, and selfish. Selfishness is our sin nature. It does not sound like much, but it is our basic problem. People think of sin as something more like murder or robbery. People think of selfishness as being rude or pushy. Most see this as two different things. In reality one might think of it as a spectrum. Most people learn to limit their selfishness so they conform to social norms and they can avoid prison. Jesus touched on the broader implication of sin when he described adultery of the heart. (Matt 5:28)

Rom_14:23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

Faith might be seen as our connection to God. This was lost when Adam and Eve first sinned. Without a connection to God, our instincts are to seek that which satisfies our own desires (selfishness). The bible calls this natural state the flesh.

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. - Galatians 5:19-21

The bible tells us to put on Christ (Gal 3:27), put off the old man and put on the new man (Col 3:9-10), and to walk by the Spirit (Gal 5:16). These all describe the new nature that is available to those in Christ. The key to having this new nature is to make choices that let the old nature die out. This generally means that we no longer seek after the self, but live for Jesus and others.

2Co 5:15 And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.

Macchiato said:

I watched a christian reel on IG and it really put up a mirror.

I dont trust God
I dont see fruits of the spirit in myself
I dont forgive my enemies i hold a grudge like crazy..

Ive been saved a long time 10+ years with no growth. Idk what to do. Reading feels like a chore it feels boring honestly, i feel no conviction from God. Im not actively sinning ( no sex or anything crazy. I go to work and come home and i tend to my kids and then im exhausted.)

I feel like i have to force myself to read, go to church( havrny been in a year maybe)
Just feels like a drag even living God bc it feels like its a check list of what not to do... and i cant get it all.

Idk what to do

Advice pls

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I ask in all kindness the question, are you truly saved? Jesus said a good tree produces good fruit; a bad tree produces bad fruit. Your life appears to contradict your profession. Paul wrote,' If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new' 2 Cor 5:17.
If there has been no radical change in your life, if you continue in sinful ways, one has to question the validity of your conversion.
I would counsel you to get alone with God and go over what true repentance and faith really are and apply them to your life.
Will remember you in my prayers.

Macchiato said:

I watched a christian reel on IG and it really put up a mirror.

I dont trust God
I dont see fruits of the spirit in myself
I dont forgive my enemies i hold a grudge like crazy..

Ive been saved a long time 10+ years with no growth. Idk what to do. Reading feels like a chore it feels boring honestly, i feel no conviction from God. Im not actively sinning ( no sex or anything crazy. I go to work and come home and i tend to my kids and then im exhausted.)

I feel like i have to force myself to read, go to church( havrny been in a year maybe)
Just feels like a drag even living God bc it feels like its a check list of what not to do... and i cant get it all.

Idk what to do

Advice pls

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Just pray a brief prayer when you awake each day. Pray for yourself & family and general hope of daily wellbeing & salvation for people in general. Whatever charitable act you can possibly do ( like a small contribution to a food pantry).

Keep some useful scripture as guidance if life is otherwise overwhelming. Scripture like Matthew 6:1-13, 1 Timothy 2:1-6, Matthew 22:36-40, Matthew 7:12, Romans 13:8-10, John 3:16-21, Ephesians 2:8-10 etc.

I don’t claim to be anything special in this.

Macchiato said:

I watched a christian reel on IG and it really put up a mirror.

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Are you able to post the video here? If we could see what the content of the video was that made you realize things, I think this will aid us in helping you.

Two things I feel God showing me.

1) This is *not* your home.

There are people being tortured, starving children, human trafficking, homelessness, persecution and a long list of people suffering in other ways. It isn't always fun right now, before we get home that is, and we have to know that God has rewards for everything that is difficult for us in the making.

It isn't like God doesn't know what we are under and suffering from. He isn't forgetful and He can make all wrongs right. We have to look forward to that day when God does this like Israel's purpose in leaving Egypt just the same was to get to the promised land. We are almost home, just not quite yet. Like children in the car asking if we are there yet, God is saying it is just five more minutes. It won't be long and we will be home.

2) Do you really see yourself through God's eyes? Do you see how He sees you?

If you believe in Christ then you are forgiven, for everything, full stop... (Romans 8:1) This includes for whatever this negative stuff is you are concerned about. God sees you, like you see your children. You take care of those children because you love them, and would do anything for them. The main difference is that God does not get exhausted.

God is love (1 John 4:16) and it isn't until we really perceive what He has done for us, all that He has done for us (even if things are hard, e.g. Paul in prison singing songs of thanks) that we fall more in love with Christ and who He is (1 John 4:19 - We love him, because he first loved us.).

Imagine if Christ were anything but pure love, like we know Him to be. What if His forgiveness were conditional and one little slip up, or ten, and you are out the door chump?

But no... that isn't the person we are in a relationship with. He never withholds forgiveness from us, and went through so much agony to set us free. We have to count our blessings, starting with having God in our life and knowing Him, and then keep listing them off each day that we are given another day.

Better days are on the horizon, but if you feel like you aren't falling more in love with God, it is because you don't understand just how insane His love for you is. It isn't because people are super-Christians that they are full of joy or are obsessed with Jesus Christ. It is because they have come to see the sheer insanity of the love of God for them. He is nuts about us, just like you are nuts about your children, I'm sure.

I don't know many people that hate their own children, and they are fallen human people. God is nuts about His children too, so much so that He sent His firstborn to save us all...

There are many things we have everyday we could lose quite easily. What then? Shouldn't we be thankful for the blessings God has given us? I know people who have lost their children, and they could be bitter about people like you who have not.

We have to trust God, like you expect your children to trust you. Not everything is fun for our children, and God is simply asking us to trust Him. We are not home yet. He is busy handling a war against demonic forces. Just like I'm sure you have to explain things to your children that you have to deal with that you don't always want to and can't do everything they want you to.

Maybe a visit back to when you were not forgiven of your sins yet down memory lane would be advisable, since it is the most expensive thing God has ever had to pay for. Our joy is in His love, and His love is in His forgiveness.

God should be displeased with us often really truly. Not us with Him. But He isn't. Being thankful is a matter of choice, of what we focus on, either things we don't have, or things we *do* have.

He loves you beyond your wildest imagination, and suffered on a cross for six hours after letting mere men beat him with whips and shred his body, all to pay for our mistakes, not His mistakes... What more could we want in a person? When that would be us in that horrifying position without Him.

God has brought you this far, what is not to trust? You don't seem to be homeless and dealing with things many other people are under right now. It is likely that this is because God is taking care of you. What if your children suddenly woke up and said they don't trust you, the person taking care of them everyday? Doesn't really compute does it.

So you say you don't trust Him, and "living God" is a drag. Stop trying to live God, and love Him. Love Him for all He has done for us, and everything else will work itself out. Like in any relationship as vows reveal, through good and bad, sick and health... when people are in love the only thing that matters is being with the other person. So fall in love with God, and walk through life with Him.

Also, I don't want this giving you false ideas...

"Jesus said a good tree produces good fruit; a bad tree produces bad fruit. Your life appears to contradict your profession."

Please ignore these kind of responses. You are just a tired child who isn't home yet and doesn't understand your relationship with God. Don't let anyone question your salvation. If you believe in Christ you are saved. It is a *gift* not an obstacle course. (Ephesians 2:8) Gifts are not earned, they are received and accepted.

No Christian on this Earth is a tree that always produces 100% good fruit only. People question children struggling with life, and give wolves wearing sheepskins free passes.

I don't believe this was malicious, but it is certainly misplaced and it is poison.

You are not a bad tree, just a tree who is struggling to understand things.

Macchiato said:

I watched a christian reel on IG and it really put up a mirror.

I dont trust God
I dont see fruits of the spirit in myself
I dont forgive my enemies i hold a grudge like crazy..

Ive been saved a long time 10+ years with no growth. Idk what to do. Reading feels like a chore it feels boring honestly, i feel no conviction from God. Im not actively sinning ( no sex or anything crazy. I go to work and come home and i tend to my kids and then im exhausted.)

I feel like i have to force myself to read, go to church( havrny been in a year maybe)
Just feels like a drag even living God bc it feels like its a check list of what not to do... and i cant get it all.

Idk what to do

Advice pls

Click to expand...

Of course you would not love God like a born again child of God. That is if you have believed in Jesus for Eternal Life (God's free gift) and have become a permanent born again child of God.

You would not love God like a child of God should. Because it may very well be likely that you are letting the world guide you in your life (spirit) and draw most of your love for worldly pursuits.
Where as, as a born again child of God living in The Spirit. The believer should be letting the spirit of God, who now lives in them. Guide their daily lives, life and thoughts, which would be showing more love for God and the spiritual life pertaining to God.

Love The Lord—Or Else - 1 Corinthians 16:22 - Grace Evangelical Society

To love God the believer may first have to fear and respect God.

What you’re describing isn’t spiritual failure — it’s spiritual exhaustion. You’ve been trying to live Christianity from the outside, not the inside. And the outside-self version of faith is nothing but pressure, guilt, and checklists. Anyone would burn out under that.

You don’t trust God because you haven’t actually met Him in a way that feels personal. You’ve met religion. You’ve met expectations. You’ve met the “don’t do this, don’t do that” version of Christianity that suffocates the soul.

The fruits of the Spirit aren’t things you force. They grow when you’re connected. If you don’t see fruit, it means you’re disconnected and tired — not defective.

Forgiveness isn’t a moral achievement. It’s a symptom of healing. Wounded people hold grudges. That’s human.

You say you haven’t grown in 10 years. That’s because you’ve been spiritually starving, not spiritually failing. Growth comes from nourishment, not effort.

So start with honesty, not performance. Tell God exactly where you are: “I don’t trust You. I don’t feel anything. I’m tired.” That’s the doorway to the inner self — the place where God actually speaks.

Start small. Start human. A 30‑second conversation with God in the car. A Psalm. A moment of truth instead of a checklist.

You’re not far from God. You’re one honest moment away.