- Dec 16, 2025
- 110
- 80
- 34
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Apostolic
- Marital Status
- Married
I grew up attending a Lutheran church in Michigan - not because I had a relationship with Jesus, but because it was tradition; my mother made me go. As soon as I could make my own choices, I stopped attending, which must’ve been around the age of 16. My thoughts on the faith only weakened over time, culminating in a point where I openly rejected God’s existence. I must’ve been around 22 when I finally admitted it out loud. I lived a lifestyle unto myself, always getting my way, & doing as I pleased. At that time I was living in Georgia with my newly betrothed wife as a PVT in the Army.
Fast‑forward to 2018 & I’m stationed in South Korea as a SGT. My relationship with my wife is slowly deteriorating & I’m falling deeper into degeneracy. I’m struggling with depression, alcoholism, nicotine, Adderall abuse, & pornography. In the desperation of my loneliness, I inexcusably had inappropriate relationships outside my marriage with other women. My wife would eventually find out after our PCS to Colorado in 2020. Things only continued to get worse.
Video games had always been an idol for me. I would spend thousands of hours & dollars wasting away in front of a screen, slowly leeching time away from my family & my health. This led to an event where I strung together multiple nights in a row without sleep, putting me into a zombified state. In this fog, I got into an argument with my wife; I pushed her around & became verbally abusive & physically violent. Rightfully, she called the police to protect herself & the children. I was arrested for DV, taken to jail, & pled guilty. But there was still yet more to come.
Late 2022, I’m a SSG, & we moved to Texas. I was hitting an all‑time low. My finances were starting to take a hit, my addictions were getting worse, & the lies I told my wife were sounding just as absurd. Keep in mind, this entire time my wife & children were devout Christians - attending church every Wednesday & twice on Sunday. She was on the worship team & a Sunday school teacher. She prayed every night for me, waiting on the Lord to deliver me; an absolute angel. I, however, was not. I filed for bankruptcy because I had made a thousand bad decisions that eventually bled us dry. My pornography catalog was also becoming quite extensive around this time because I was spending hours viewing material. My wife found my secret account after walking in on me viewing my collection. This was our turning point.
After everything I put us through, she finally gave me an ultimatum: go to church or lose the family. She had tried to create boundaries in the past but it was different this time. I was broken & she was done. So I went to church. I spent about a year giving it half my heart, but within that year, things started to change. I committed myself to Christ at the top of the new year in 2024 & was baptized in Jesus’ name at the age of 32. I wasn’t healed overnight, but when I say that Jesus started a good work in me, I mean He began to transform me.
If you haven’t been keeping tally, I was: a liar, a poor steward, an adulterer, an abuser, a criminal. I was addicted to pills, alcohol, nicotine, pornography, and video games. I suffered from depression, anxiety, worry, and identity. I was a poor father, husband, soldier, & son. I was ungrateful & undeserving of all that I had. But God redeemed me & made me whole, healing me of all my infirmities.
I am leaving out a great deal of context & detail but these are the cliff notes of my journey. I am none of those things now - glory be to God. I will never be that man again. I am unwavering in my faith & I live my life without worry. I do not want, & I do not need, for the Lord has always been by my side. I am blessed beyond measure & will not forsake Him. I thank the Lord for my wife & my children, whom I do not deserve. Truly, our God is a great God. May my testimony serve as a reminder that our lives without God are a series of self‑inflicted wounds. What you think is freedom is bondage. The world can only offer you misery & depression; it promises pleasure but delivers decay. It gives you choices but steals your will. It feeds your desires but starves your soul.
My life is proof that God does not rescue the deserving; He rescues the willing. He does not polish the almost‑righteous; He resurrects the dead. And when He restores a man, He does not return him to who he was - He makes him into who he was meant to be. Thank you for reading. Go forth beneath the mantle of grace; Godspeed.
Fast‑forward to 2018 & I’m stationed in South Korea as a SGT. My relationship with my wife is slowly deteriorating & I’m falling deeper into degeneracy. I’m struggling with depression, alcoholism, nicotine, Adderall abuse, & pornography. In the desperation of my loneliness, I inexcusably had inappropriate relationships outside my marriage with other women. My wife would eventually find out after our PCS to Colorado in 2020. Things only continued to get worse.
Video games had always been an idol for me. I would spend thousands of hours & dollars wasting away in front of a screen, slowly leeching time away from my family & my health. This led to an event where I strung together multiple nights in a row without sleep, putting me into a zombified state. In this fog, I got into an argument with my wife; I pushed her around & became verbally abusive & physically violent. Rightfully, she called the police to protect herself & the children. I was arrested for DV, taken to jail, & pled guilty. But there was still yet more to come.
Late 2022, I’m a SSG, & we moved to Texas. I was hitting an all‑time low. My finances were starting to take a hit, my addictions were getting worse, & the lies I told my wife were sounding just as absurd. Keep in mind, this entire time my wife & children were devout Christians - attending church every Wednesday & twice on Sunday. She was on the worship team & a Sunday school teacher. She prayed every night for me, waiting on the Lord to deliver me; an absolute angel. I, however, was not. I filed for bankruptcy because I had made a thousand bad decisions that eventually bled us dry. My pornography catalog was also becoming quite extensive around this time because I was spending hours viewing material. My wife found my secret account after walking in on me viewing my collection. This was our turning point.
After everything I put us through, she finally gave me an ultimatum: go to church or lose the family. She had tried to create boundaries in the past but it was different this time. I was broken & she was done. So I went to church. I spent about a year giving it half my heart, but within that year, things started to change. I committed myself to Christ at the top of the new year in 2024 & was baptized in Jesus’ name at the age of 32. I wasn’t healed overnight, but when I say that Jesus started a good work in me, I mean He began to transform me.
If you haven’t been keeping tally, I was: a liar, a poor steward, an adulterer, an abuser, a criminal. I was addicted to pills, alcohol, nicotine, pornography, and video games. I suffered from depression, anxiety, worry, and identity. I was a poor father, husband, soldier, & son. I was ungrateful & undeserving of all that I had. But God redeemed me & made me whole, healing me of all my infirmities.
I am leaving out a great deal of context & detail but these are the cliff notes of my journey. I am none of those things now - glory be to God. I will never be that man again. I am unwavering in my faith & I live my life without worry. I do not want, & I do not need, for the Lord has always been by my side. I am blessed beyond measure & will not forsake Him. I thank the Lord for my wife & my children, whom I do not deserve. Truly, our God is a great God. May my testimony serve as a reminder that our lives without God are a series of self‑inflicted wounds. What you think is freedom is bondage. The world can only offer you misery & depression; it promises pleasure but delivers decay. It gives you choices but steals your will. It feeds your desires but starves your soul.
My life is proof that God does not rescue the deserving; He rescues the willing. He does not polish the almost‑righteous; He resurrects the dead. And when He restores a man, He does not return him to who he was - He makes him into who he was meant to be. Thank you for reading. Go forth beneath the mantle of grace; Godspeed.
