I'm in a hairy situation. I just recently got married and wonder if I should now get a divorce. My husband has ADHD and takes Adderall for it but he abuses it and he does meth with it. When I confront him about it he gets very defensive and gaslights me. I am a Christian and I have done my best to support him in everything but he doesn't hold a steady job down and is a great welder but won't let the meth go so he can get a good job. I am the breadwinner but I hate drugs. I don't want to divorce him but I am not supporting this behavior. I asked him to do rehab and he said yes but when he talked to them and they told him he had to be off of both for 28 days he was adamant that he no longer wanted to do it. He wants the best of both worlds. He wants to stay with me in my home but he doesn't want to quit. And, he is telling me to make him get out now. He's a big boy so I can't force him out. What do I do?
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That sounds like a very difficult situation. I really don't know what advice to offer. Is he also a Christian, if so maybe you can get your pastor or the church to help out. You certainly don't want to enable his drug taking behavior and it's right for you to take a stand against it and insist he gets some help. In the long run standing firm, may be the kindest thing you can do for him. Praying for you.
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He claims to be a Christian but if you heard the language he uses and the anger he holds on to, you would say that is not fruit of the spirit. He lied to me again since posting this. I found some items in my house that led me to believe he was using again and when I confronted him he gaslighted me and tried to make me feel bad for accusing him of it. He ended up leaving then he admitted he really did it. So not only did he lie to me to my face, he tried to make me feel bad about accusing him of it. I have since got him out of the house and back to where he used to live. I am filing for a divorce Thursday. It is typical drug addict behavior and I can't do this anymore. He threatened to punch me several times too in the process and cursed me out. He's been harassing me since then too. I'm also planning to get a restraining order on him when I talk to the attorney. Thank you for your prayers! Please also pray for his salvation and that he can turn his life around with Jesus.
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Yes unfortunately. I know nothing about ADHD and Adderall. He told me meth was the same thing and that he promised that he didn't do that much and that he would stop once he got back on Adderall. I am an empath and I know I made a mistake in trusting that. I'm human. Then as the months went on I found out he was doing both and since then I've tried to hold him to his promise. It is what it is. I can't turn back time now. I know the mistake I made.
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Well it seems there was some deception there which in my Church is basis for an annulment. Anyway, meth does not have a high rate of recovery and you’ll have to consider that. Also, any rehab facility will tell you that you have to draw a line and quit enabling him. No help, no money, no living with you in the home. You need to give him an ultimatum and stick to it. If you decide to do so, you will most likely need to get a restraining order. You’ll have some thinking to do. The ball is really in your court at this point. Prayers for you as you discern.
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Thank you! I don't have the annulment option so I'm filing for a divorce. Yes I do feel I have enabled him to this point. I appreciate your prayers.
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Praying the Lord strengthens and protects you every step of the way and grants you discernment and direction.
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