Potentially cutting off my father

Offer to take him to AA or NA (some kind of 12 step program). Alanon can be helpful for you as trying to help someone given over to their inner demons is something they are very familiar with. You do not want to reward or enable bad behavior.

tommytomato said:

I just joined a new church and I'm kind of embarrassed bringing this up with the congregants there.

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Hello tommytomato, you need more help than most of your fellow congregants will be able to offer you. Call your pastor instead, ASAP, and tell him everything that you just told us (and more). Pastors are in the business of helping their congregants as the Lord's undershepherds, which is a big part of their calling, something that they will, in fact, be held accountable for by the Lord .. cf Hebrews 13:17.

Also, along with giving you counsel about what to do (for yourself and for your father), telling your pastor about all of this will give him what he needs to pray for you in a more specific way. Drug/Alcohol addiction is one of the most difficult things to deal with in this life (for MANY different reasons), so prayer is something that you should be asking for from fellow believers, as well (at least the ones that you are close to at church .. and we have a Prayer Wall here at CF, just FYI).

BTW, I can pretty much guarantee you that your pastor has dealt with this issue before, and many others too, so you needn't be embarrassed for any reason.

Finally, WELCOME TO CF

Praying for you!

God bless you!! (Numbers 6:24-26; Psalm 119:105; Proverbs 3:5-6)

--David
p.s. - Just FYI, I was raised by an alcoholic father, so I am aware of what you are facing (except for the part of needing $$, as my father was a very successful businessman prior to turning to alcohol when I was about 8 years old). Meetings for family members of alcoholics at https://al-anon.org can be very helpful for you, as @timf has already mentioned, but be sure to start with your pastor.

I'm tempted to give you advice, but I'd rather you hear it from your pastor first. The one thing that I will caution you about now is giving your dad money. Addicts do whatever it takes to feed their addiction (including lying about their need for $$ and what they are going to do with it), so if you give him $$, guess what he'll end up doing with it If he needs a meal or groceries, take him to a restaurant or a store and buy them for him, but don't give him cash!! Finally, continue to patiently trust God and pray for your dad's recovery (and, most importantly, for his salvation) as there is always great hope in Him, even for addicts

So, you love him, even though he has used you for money and has falsely accused you.

Well, Jesus does want us all to love any and all people.

But be careful about loving someone because he has charmed you somehow. Alcoholics and addicts can have very charming personalities, and they can cleverly blame others for their troubles.

So, in case you have been tricked into loving your father *because of his charm and blaming*, you need to get wise to this, so some guy like your father doesn't come along and trick you into "loving" him and marrying him.

One woman I knew in AlAnon said she could not understand how every guy she got to dating would turn out to be an alcoholic. I offered her that she possibly had been trained to be able to relate only with her alcoholic father's personality. And she had not gotten to know a variety of men and learn how to relate with different personalities.

And in Jesus we need to become able to tell the difference between someone with a worldly personality, and someone growing in how Jesus is and relates and loves.

I would say, then, to make sure you know how to tell the difference about men before you get close to anyone. My opinion is a real one will not first and mainly call a lot of your attention to himself, but his good example will help you to get more with Jesus. And you will be able to help him to grow in Christ. Otherwise, I would not even start with a guy, except while sharing with other Christians or in public.

And spend time with mature Christian people who have learned how to make sure with God and how to relate in their close relationships.