I'm a 35-year-old man from India

Mathemagician said:

Hi, I'm a 35-year-old Indian man who isn't religious. My parents are Christians, and I attended church until I was 13. I stopped because I found church boring, and once I learned about evolution, I lost any faith I may have had before.

I suffer from a lot of mental health problems that prevent me from working. Thankfully, my parents support me. I am looking for community, not faith, and will not try to de-convert you guys. And trying to convert me to Christianity will likely be futile as well.

Click to expand...

Welcome!

Mathemagician said:

I suffer from a lot of mental health problems that prevent me from working.

Click to expand...

So you think God can not help you with that?

Mathemagician said:

I don't believe there is one.

Click to expand...

Do you believe in the power of positive thinking and the power of suggestion?

Mathemagician said:

Could you explain what you mean by the power of suggestion?

Click to expand...

When we expect a specific outcome, we automatically set in motion a chain of cognitions and behaviors to produce that outcome, even attributing our success or failure to its cause. So, whether it’s deliberate or unintentional, suggestion plays a much larger role in our lives than we might realize!

Mathemagician said:

I do believe in the power of positive thinking.

Click to expand...

A lot of people see no difference between the Bible and the laws of attraction. This is the belief that positive energy returns positive results. In the same way negative energy or negative thoughts can return negative results.

Recently I was recovering form surgery and came to realize I had a negative attitude. I started to be a lot more positive and my recover got a lot better as a result of that. There is just a lot of healing in positive energy.

It is difficult to prove a God that goes beyond this. Although a lot of people do not know how to do that because they do not know God. I do not know how people can attend church and NOT know God, but we do hear that happens. We have to want to know God and seek to know God. If not than we can at least be positive and reap the rewards for that.

Welcome! I hope your doctors can get you feeling stabilized soon!

Mathemagician said:

I've been admitted to a Mental Hospital in India as I was feeling suicidal yesterday. Hopefully the doctors will adjust my meds when they come for rounds.

I have trauma, schizoaffective disorder, and OCD.

Click to expand...

I had mood disorder with psychotic features. Now it's schizoaffective disorder like yours. I overdosed two years ago on 100 bipolar meds pills and they found me unconscious after four hours of taking them. I also tested positive for COVID at the hospital. I had a team of four doctors and my psychiatrist said to remove the COVID meds. It saved my life. When I came to I heard Christian songs in my mind. It's a good thing you didn't act on your feelings of suicidality. Never do that. Anyway, when I came to, I felt perfectly at peace and just content. It's just a new feeling cause I'm always vigilant and a little manic when I'm awake. This nice feeling went on for quite some time. But that time I was having delusions, which caused my suicidality. So I would go out the house when everyone's asleep and wait for my boyfriend to pick me up. (I believed I had a boyfriend who would sneak me out of my home and to his home country). Well, needless to say, I got caught. I didn't know they locked even the small door of the gate. So I just left my luggage outside the front door and hid in the helper's room. (They slept in my room to keep me on guard so I wouldn't be able to go out anymore). And they caught me. They woke up and they thought I was in their bathroom. I thought, fine, I'm caught anyways, so I'll just get out. So yeah, I went back to my room. The next day, my mom drove me five hours to a rehab facility. The nice feeling was still there nevertheless. But after a few weeks one afternoon I think, I started hearing voices. And there were many of them. It was sudden. It didn't stop and got worse. It was horrible. After that time I began hearing a voice that started giving me instructions. It really scared me as it didn't happen to me before. Cause before I'd only hear one word a lot of the time. Over and over. But this was different. The instructions were incredibly specific and urgent like I had to obey or else. It was hell on earth. I couldn't sleep most of that time. After two months, I was finally spent. Physically exhausted. I think after a few weeks I got better. I started realizing that those were delusions. I got so mad at God for putting me through such torment even though it wasn't His fault. The next day after talking to Him, they were showing Christian songs on the TV. I didn't feel bad, but a bit emotional. I felt grief, although I myself didn't grieve. I think it was God. My delusions were mostly about Him. Anyway, I got better as time went by. As each delusion got exposed I'd get mad. I felt betrayed, cause I really believed in them. I was hopeful that there were these people who were my friends, even family. After around three months I was all better. And okay. I wasn't mad anymore.

When I was sent home I had minor problems like a period of depression or auditory hallucinations. But I'd get better. So keep up with not giving up or not acting on your suicidal feelings. You're on the right track.

Welcome to the forums @Mathemagician

Mathemagician said:

Hi, I'm a 35-year-old Indian man who isn't religious. My parents are Christians, and I attended church until I was 13. I stopped because I found church boring, and once I learned about evolution, I lost any faith I may have had before.

I suffer from a lot of mental health problems that prevent me from working. Thankfully, my parents support me. I am looking for community, not faith, and will not try to de-convert you guys. And trying to convert me to Christianity will likely be futile as well.

Click to expand...

Welcome to the forum.