In a Christian relationship if lady is unsure about the relationship moving forward should the man work on the relationship or let her go ?

QuestionQuest74 said:

What should be done in that situation is it best to give some space or try to work things out ?

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Give it some space. It will allow her to clarify what she really wants. Also check out Mark Gungor on dating and marriage. He is brilliant. He is also practical.

Women want men who are above them. If you pursue her, then you put yourself below her and become less desirable. Give her a month. If she is still unsure after that, then it's over.

During that month, I would be looking for a new woman.

Matt5 said:

Women want men who are above them. If you pursue her, then you put yourself below her and become less desirable. Give her a month. If she is still unsure after that, then it's over.

During that month, I would be looking for a new woman.

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Would agree to most of that, but why the hurry looking for a new woman? There may be some introspection and home-work to do for yourself to process possible feed-back from your current girl-friend? Never waste good feed-back You yourself may not be perfect yet.

QuestionQuest74 said:

So even in Christian relationships expect this same part like women in the world?

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I would say each woman is unique. So, you should not use some one-size-fits-all way of doing things with every woman.

If you have gotten to know her, I suppose you can understand what is going on with her. So, if you do not understand her, perhaps your relationship is superficial, anyway.

But if she is a Christian lady, she is your own sister in Jesus; so, whether she wants to date or marry you or not . . . still, she is your sister to appreciate and share with.

And you should be able to trust each other with what you are thinking and your reasons. If you do not trust one another, you do not have a Christian relationship, anyway, I would consider.

Another item > if she is Christian, she can make sure with God and be guided by God. And you need to expect her to be guided by God about you and encourage her to do this.

Because in Christian relating, it is not only about what she wants, plus God is changing her and her interests will mature with her (c: What she can want now will become out-of-date! - - - as she grows in Jesus.

So, it is very practical that God our Father guides her according to how He knows she will become later, and what her interests will be, then.

Space! Give her space! Nobody likes pressure.

QuestionQuest74 said:

What should be done in that situation is it best to give some space or try to work things out ?

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well ... "move forward" .... from what to what? Work things out? what is the problem(s)? Lack of commitment or what? What is it that is not happening in your mind that you think should be happening?

QuestionQuest74 said:

If im able to trust her shouldn’t I be able to talk to her about it instead of acting nonchalant like I don’t care ? Like if I don’t trust a person i cant act like I care because I don’t know how they would act to vulnerability.

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Yes, if you trust her, I would say you can talk to her about it. But it should not get too much attention.

Trust God about everything >

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

Listen to what she tells you about you. Evaluate what you hear. Change what you should about you. See what happens. That is about the best you can do.

"swift to hear, slow to speak" (in James 1:19-20)

Care about her. You are her brother in Jesus, to encourage her to make sure with God and discover all that is right for her.

If she is a Christian, she is accountable and able to pray and be guided by God. So, you possibly should not "work" to get her to stay with you, but pray and minister for her to submit to God so she is doing what our Father has her doing.

Then discover what becomes of your relationship >

as brother and sister in Christ . . .

as friends, however God has you be friends . . .

and if God wants you to be romantic and married, this comes with first being able to submit to how God guides you in all things, so you will be guided in agreement.

But do work on how we all in Jesus are family and friends. Make sure you give attention to sharing with mature Christian people, so you get to know more mature people who have done well in marriage and you can learn from them and feed on their example of how they put God first and do not complain and argue, but relate creatively.

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

To me, this means you do not try to steer her or work or push her for what you want, but trust God to guide her.

And test if you can be guided by God. And if both of you are submissive to Him, He will guide you in agreement and He will confirm you with peace and encouragement and satisfy you.

God's will is done with Jesus giving us "rest for your souls." (in Matthew 11:29) This is a basic of Christianity and doing God's will >

"'Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:29)

But there are people in marriage and ministry who do not first submit to Jesus in this rest and simply do what His grace has us do. And so they are wasted, worn, torn, struggling instead of snuggling with Jesus.

So, first you need to be with Jesus, and test if she is making sure with God or only dictating what she has to have.

And love others, by helping people to trust in Jesus and stay submissive to Him in His rest; and here is where we now have unity, by the way . . . already.