Who should pay on first date men or women?

Krav Maga · Aug 30, 2023

The whole concept of men paying first to follow traditional roles yet women don’t want to follow traditional roles in other areas such as taking care of the home, purity, having a hot meal on the table, child rearing and not working… The whole concept of men paying for the meals was from a time when men had money and women didn’t. Don’t women want to be treated equally today? Then they can pay for half the bill. After all, that’s equality. I know a woman that went on date after date solely for the free meals, men are not a free meal ticket, especially when there is no commitment established.

What are your thoughts?

Paulos23 · Aug 30, 2023

Back when I was dating, this came up a lot. Some women wanted to pay, others expected me to pay, and were shocked when I suggested half.

These days, I don't know. It depends on the type of mate you are looking for. It is definitely one of many signals to look for in compatibility in dating.

WolfGate · Aug 30, 2023

None of the Above in the poll.

The one who asked the other for the first date - it falls more on the pursuer than the pursued. If it just kind of evolved towards a date over time, then splitting makes sense. Hopefully that is clarified before the date.

d taylor · Aug 30, 2023

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In the Mississippi the man should, they should also open doors for their date, pull out the chair for them to sit down.

Tall Timbers · Aug 30, 2023

Whoever invited the other should pay. If the man put forth the invitation, then he should pay and if the female put forth the invitation, she should pay. Under any other circumstance I would lean towards the man paying.

Krav Maga · Aug 30, 2023

d taylor said:
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In the Mississippi the man should, they should also open doors for their date, pull out the chair for them to sit down.

So you believe the man should follow traditional roles, do women follow the traditional roles are is this just one sided in the Mississippi?

d taylor · Aug 30, 2023

Krav Maga said:
So you believe the man should follow traditional roles, do women follow the traditional roles are is this just one sided in the Mississippi?

I said Mississippi because that is where i live and i know that is how many my age believe the man and women should be on dates.

friend of · Aug 30, 2023

The person who initiated the date in the first place

Krav Maga · Aug 30, 2023

d taylor said:
I said Mississippi because that is where i live and i know that is how many my age believe the man and women should be on dates.

I am asking why do you believe that way? Why do you believe men have to follow traditional roles yet women do not have to follow the traditional roles?

Hans Blaster · Aug 30, 2023

Krav Maga said:
So you believe the man should follow traditional roles, do women follow the traditional roles are is this just one sided in the Mississippi?

Things are just different in major rivers than in normal places.

Maria Billingsley · Aug 30, 2023

Krav Maga said:
The whole concept of men paying first to follow traditional roles yet women don’t want to follow traditional roles in other areas such as taking care of the home, purity, having a hot meal on the table, child rearing and not working. The whole concept of men paying the meals was from a time when men had money and women didn’t. Doesn’t women want to be treated equally today? Then they can pay for half the bill after all that’s equality. I know a woman that went on date after date solely for the free meals, men are not a free meal ticket especially when there is no commitment established.

What are your thoughts?

Obviously if you ask a woman out to dinner you pay for it. I am certain you will not have to worry about the rest of her role as a woman if you don't.
Be blessed.

Tropical Wilds · Aug 30, 2023

Krav Maga said:
The whole concept of men paying first to follow traditional roles yet women don’t want to follow traditional roles in other areas such as taking care of the home, purity, having a hot meal on the table, child rearing and not working. The whole concept of men paying the meals was from a time when men had money and women didn’t. Doesn’t women want to be treated equally today? Then they can pay for half the bill after all that’s equality. I know a woman that went on date after date solely for the free meals, men are not a free meal ticket especially when there is no commitment established.

What are your thoughts?

Whomever does the asking is the person who pays. If he asks, he pays. If she asks, she pays. Unless somebody expressly says they’re paying as a condition of going out, as in he asks her but she says “ok, but only if I can pay my way,” the asker pays.

As for what men paying means to “equal rights,” it means nothing. They’re two separate things. If you ask me on a date but don’t pay, I’m not going on a second date because it’s rude, not because of my beliefs on equality.

Maybe there are women who just go out for free meals… I haven’t met them, but I’m sure they are out there. That said, I have gone on many a date where the man only wants to go or only pay because they feel it entitles them to sex. So misrepresenting one’s intentions and expectations of a dinner out is not the sole domain of women.

Krav Maga · Aug 30, 2023

Tropical Wilds said:
Whomever does the asking is the person who pays. If he asks, he pays. If she asks, she pays. Unless somebody expressly says they’re paying as a condition of going out, as in he asks her but she says “ok, but only if I can pay my way,” the asker pays.

As for what men paying means to “equal rights,” it means nothing. They’re two separate things. If you ask me on a date but don’t pay, I’m not going on a second date because it’s rude, not because of my beliefs on equality.

Maybe there are women who just go out for free meals… I haven’t met them, but I’m sure they are out there. That said, I have gone on many a date where the man only wants to go or only pay because they feel it entitles them to sex. So misrepresenting one’s intentions and expectations of a dinner out is not the sole domain of women.

Your comment on “equal rights” being separate issue’s isn’t true when women go on about the pay gap in this country. The concept of men paying for the dates was from a time when men had money and women didn’t. If men are supposed to pay for the meals of every woman that he goes on a date with then the man should be payed more as he has a bigger financial responsibility.

(will make a thread on pay gap very soon as that would be an interesting topic).

d taylor · Aug 30, 2023

Krav Maga said:
I am asking why do you believe that way? Why do you believe men have to follow traditional roles yet women do not have to follow the traditional roles?

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To show politeness and respect toward your date.

MehGuy · Aug 30, 2023

Krav Maga said:
The whole concept of men paying first to follow traditional roles yet women don’t want to follow traditional roles in other areas such as taking care of the home, purity, having a hot meal on the table, child rearing and not working… The whole concept of men paying for the meals was from a time when men had money and women didn’t. Don’t women want to be treated equally today? Then they can pay for half the bill. After all, that’s equality. I know a woman that went on date after date solely for the free meals, men are not a free meal ticket, especially when there is no commitment established.

What are your thoughts?

I'll assume they're either feminists or conservative women.. regardless. it's a major turn off. A feminist is really just a dishonest conservative woman. If you want to be technical I think a consertative woman leans more on the submissive side, and the feminist more the masochistic side.

I understand the evolutionary reasons many women want a man to pay.. but I want a woman who's thinking is beyond that. I can understand the idea of the person asking for a date paying.. but if you're dealing with a woman who screams about every "misogynistic" thing under the sun but has no problem with you paying you're probably dealing with a feminist.

I guess it's a good tool for weeding out women.

Depends on how the overall date goes.. but yeah I have sympathy for men being turned off by this.

Krav Maga · Aug 30, 2023

d taylor said:
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To show politeness and respect toward your date.

So what does she do to show her respect towards her date? If you pay for her food and pull her chair out for her, what does she do? Is this a one sided deal?

d taylor · Aug 30, 2023

Krav Maga said:
So what does she do to show her respect towards her date? If you pay for her food and pull her chair out for her, what does she do? Is this a one sided?

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Appreciate the evening and the politeness and respect shown to her.

Tropical Wilds · Aug 30, 2023

Krav Maga said:
Your comment on “equal rights” being separate issue’s isn’t true when women go on about the pay gap in this country. The concept of men paying for the dates was from a time when men had money and women didn’t. If men are supposed to pay for the meals of every woman that he goes on a date with then the man should be payed more as he has a bigger financial responsibility.

(will make a thread on pay gap very soon as that would be an interesting topic).

Women “go on” about the pay gap because they rightly believe that they shouldn’t be paid less for having the same qualifications for the same job simply because they have a vagina. They don’t “go on” about pay gap because they are upset they can’t pay for dates. Kind of like men would be upset if something women pay $80 for they have to pay $100 for because they have a penis.

Claiming men should be paid more because they pay for the meals of their dates is just silly. There are plenty of things women have to buy that men don’t, yet nobody advocate they get paid more as a result. Your social or personal expenses have no relevance to how much somebody’s hour of work is worth, just like gender doesn’t.

Krav Maga · Aug 30, 2023

Tropical Wilds said:
Women “go on” about the pay gap because they rightly believe that they shouldn’t be paid less for having the same qualifications for the same job simply because they have a vagina. They don’t “go on” about pay gap because they are upset they can’t pay for dates. Kind of like men would be upset if something women pay $80 for they have to pay $100 for because they have a penis.

Claiming men should be paid more because they pay for the meals of their dates is just silly. There are plenty of things women have to buy that men don’t, yet nobody advocate they get paid more as a result. Your social or personal expenses have no relevance to how much somebody’s hour of work is worth, just like gender doesn’t.

I made a thread about the so called pay gap and even list many things men have to pay for that women do not. The thread is located in the same area as this thread is.

Tropical Wilds · Aug 30, 2023

Krav Maga said:
I made a thread about the so called pay gap and even list many things men have to pay for that women do not. The thread is located in the same area as this thread is.

Yes, I answered that post too.

To be honest, both of these posts seem less like discussions on equality and more like “poor men have it so hard” pity posts that espouse the alpha manly man rhetoric.

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